The Body Image Revolution
Raw, unfiltered conversations about what it really takes to love your reflection, feel sexy in your skin, and build a legacy of radical self-love for yourself and future generations - without the toxic positivity or any of the BS.
Hosted by body confidence coach and boudoir photographer, Rebecca Sigala.
The Body Image Revolution
Imperfect, Consistent, and Finally Free With Najma Aronow
Today on The Body Image Revolution, I’m joined again by my amazing client Najma. You may remember her first episode, where she shared about her healing boudoir experience after losing her partner.
In this conversation, Najma opens up about what has unfolded since then—leaving burnout behind, reconnecting with her body, and stepping into her power through The New Sexy. Her honesty and courage shine through, and her story reflects the heart of this work: releasing old stories, building confidence, and finally feeling at home in your skin.
If Najma’s journey sparks something in you, click the link to learn more and apply: https://www.rebeccasigalacoaching.com/the-new-sexy
I would love to hear from you on Instagram!
https://www.instagram.com/rebeccasigalastudio
Hello, beautiful souls. Welcome back to the Body Image Revolution. It's been a hot minute, but I'm back with an incredible lineup of episodes for you, and today feels extra special because I get to share the story of one of my amazing and brilliant and beautiful and wise clients. Najma, you might even remember her because she came on the podcast before to talk about her healing boudoir experience about two years ago now. At that time, she had just lost her partner in the war, and through that experience, she began moving through her grief. The boudoir experience became the space where she could really meet herself with honesty. And compassion and self-love and start to cultivate a deeper sense of self. I believe it's David Kessler who says, grief and love are inextricably connected, and that quote has always stayed with me. And I think that Najma story really exemplifies how true that is. She's allowed herself to hold both the grief and the love without shutting one out for the other, and it's been so, so beautiful and inspiring to witness. If you haven't listened to her first episode, I highly recommend it because this conversation is really a continuation of that journey. One of the things I love about Najma, and I love a lot of things about her, but one of the things I love and admire about her is her honesty. She's just so real with herself and with other people, and that authenticity has definitely carried her through this whole process. So when she decided to join the New Sexy just months ago now, I knew it was gonna be off the charts Transformational. The thing is, is Najma never really had those. Unquote traditional body image struggles. She wasn't super focused on losing weight or changing her body, or not loving certain parts of her body, but she did feel a very strong disconnection from her body, from her pleasure. From the idea of really loving the way she looked through this work, she's built a whole new connection with her body, stepped into her sensuality and stepped into her power and created so much space for healing and possibility. There's so much that she shares here with you today, and I know it's gonna resonate because it's just so deep and real and universal in a lot of ways. Because Najma's story reflects the very heart of the new sexy. I want to share some exciting news with you. The new sexy is evolving, and next week I'm officially launching the New Sexy Awakening, which is now a five month journey for self-aware women who are ready to release old stories. Cultivate unwavering body confidence and finally feel sexy and at home in their skin. You're gonna get one-on-one support even in the group setting we'll have one-on-one check-ins and a growing community of incredible, badass, self-aware women. With the option to continue into a full year of embodiment, which Najma and I touch on a little bit in this episode, and I'm just so excited to continue the journey with her and with all of. The incredible women who are in and who will be stepping in. The coolest part of all of this is that the new sexy is now open all year round. No more waiting for the next round. No more waiting to feel sexy. No more waiting to feel worthy. You are worthy now and you can step in when you are ready. So if Namas story sparks something in you or you're already curious, this is such a beautiful time to step in. The new Sexy Awakening has just opened in this new way. There are already incredible women who are beginning their journeys right now. You're gonna be surrounded by women who are stepping into their power, building that confidence saying yes to themselves, and you don't have to wait anymore. If you're ready to start creating that same connection, healing and confidence for yourself, the space is here for you. So check the link in the show notes to apply and. Come be a heart of this next chapter of the New Sexy. All right, my loves. Let's dive in. You're gonna love Najma, and I hope you enjoy this episode. wow. Where do we even start?
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I feel like there's too many starting points at this point.
Rebecca Sigala:Totally. I know what you mean. So this is your second time on the podcast. Welcome back. Thank you so much for agreeing to have this conversation with me.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I'm so happy to be here again. It's really nice. It feels like every time we have our thing, there's like this closure and like, recap of everything with the podcast that really like gets down to another level of everything.
Rebecca Sigala:Totally. I've re-listened to our last podcast, I think just a couple months ago when I was writing up your blog for your boudoir post, I was like, okay, I wanna dive back into the journey. And I was like, whoa, this is really powerful stuff. You shared so many beautiful things for the listeners. Najma was on my podcast. How long ago was that?
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Oh wow. I think must have been almost a year ago.
Rebecca Sigala:Whoa. I feel like more even.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Time's gone out the window
Rebecca Sigala:and she had gone through the healing boudoir experience and shared her journey through boudoir and the grief that you were experiencing and are still experiencing today. And it was just so profound and beautiful and you had so much. To share and I'd love for this conversation to just be a continuation of that and for people to get to know you a little bit because you're so awesome. Thank you. You are, and basically, I guess to set things up for people, we did the healing boudoir experience and then in between that and The New Sexy was months, right? If not, yeah,
Najma Micha-el Aronow:it was, it was I think a year and a half between the boudoir shoot that we did to when I actually started the New Sexy'cause we had talked about me starting it with you I think about three months before I actually did.
Rebecca Sigala:Hmm. Yeah, that's true.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Okay. We got, yeah, we have go through that. It's continuous process because we kept on talking in between and they were like, we had like, follow up and then please. So it's just kind of like exciting. But yeah, I think it ended up being almost like a year and a half in between the boudoir shoot and starting The New Sexy course. Wow.
Rebecca Sigala:So I feel like people are gonna have to go back to that first episode to really hear about the healing boudoir experience. Go recap. Exactly. Okay. If you haven't listened to that, go back to that. I'll put the link in the show notes. But can you tell me, I guess just in a few sentences, what the Healing Boudoir Experience was for you? You're like, no, I think,
Najma Micha-el Aronow:no, no, I can't. I can, it's just some, it, it's so much more of like a body feeling than it is something that I like know how to describe in words. I think the closest that I can get to it is, Pride in myself and joy that I can do something solely for me. Mm. Like, this isn't for anybody else. I'm doing this for me because I want to. Yeah. And absolutely no other reasons. Yeah. Like this moment of what most people would end up calling narcissistic in a non-con contextual view of things, but like something that is so purely for me and about me, and not from a bad place, but from a place of like, I want to do this for myself.
Rebecca Sigala:Hmm. Why is it important for people to do something that's just for them and not for anybody else? Because like you said, I think a lot of people have this view of either investing in yourself or boudoir as like this vain, self-centered endeavor.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I think that, honestly, I think that really is why there's so little context in. Our world or in situations that, especially as adults, we have a time and a place that is just for us and not'cause of something else or built into something else with anything. Like even when it comes down to things of like when you're a child, your birthday is this day that is about you.
Rebecca Sigala:Mm. Yeah. When you're adults,
Najma Micha-el Aronow:it's a day that you called all your friends. You planned all the things you wanted to see. All
Rebecca Sigala:the so
Najma Micha-el Aronow:true. You crossed all the things off the list. So true. Like maybe you went there to get your nails done or your hair done, which is like something small for you. Yeah. But it's one of those things that's like really on the way versus setting a time and space that is so intentionally about getting in touch with yourself.
Rebecca Sigala:Wow. That's really beautiful. of course, our needs as humans evolve as we get older, but I think there's still that need there that we as humans want to be. Celebrated and seen and focused on, and there's so much healing and so much power in just that.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Mm-hmm. like with me and the time that I was going through just with all of the grief, it also held such an important space of I'd been so disconnected for myself and like having this moment that I can bring it back and I can touch what is me and what I know about myself. Like to find this base where I'm not feeling like I'm getting split into all these different directions and I have no sense of myself within it.
Rebecca Sigala:Mm. Can you elaborate on that a little bit? Like where you were at at that time and what was going on?
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Um, it was just in the beginning of the war, so two years ago. Um. I guess that gives us a timeline. It was two years ago.
Rebecca Sigala:Oh, wow. Okay. Yes.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah. So I had just lost my partner and everything was hectic is the least I can say about it. But it was just like this moment of literally life as I knew it had stopped. It had ended. I was like, there's no even thinking about what's happening in two weeks, what's happening tomorrow? It felt like all these things felt like impossible to do. And within this, the way that I had seen my life and seen my future had completely crumbled underneath me.
Rebecca Sigala:Wow.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Um, and this was all going alongside a lot of things that I had personally been dealing with, of just in general, losing my sense of self and my motivations for doing things, getting a lot more disconnected from my body. And this kind of was just like. The last thing that completely disconnected me and made me feel like I've lost touch with it all.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. And that everything changed.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah. So like having this moment of like, I need to find one thing that I can trust and that is there and I know that's me.
Rebecca Sigala:Hmm. That's really powerful. That's really powerful. I'm so sorry that you lost your partner and that you had to go through that at that point in your life. And I'm also feeling so honored just in this moment that I get to go on this journey with you and just walk alongside you as you continue to carve out that space and connect with your body and yourself.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:It's, it's been really amazing having you also like here like step through step and helping me kind of figure myself out in each new phase. Hmm.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah, it's so special. So special. So one of the things, like I said, people are gonna have to listen to that first episode, but one of the things that sticks out to me about that boudoir experience was that you kind of allowed yourself to just be where you were at and not fight against it.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Mm-hmm.
Rebecca Sigala:Does that feel like kind of the theme, the theme of that first chapter?
Najma Micha-el Aronow:It really was. It was just kind of like, I need to let go of all these outside standards and outside things and Yeah. Like focus inwards.
Rebecca Sigala:Mm. Yeah. And then, you know, you got the pictures and the album and like you're integrating a lot of this stuff in your life. And then we spoke three months before you actually decided to do The New Sexy, which I think it was like. January of last year. Does that make sense? Or February, something like that.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I think it must've been somewhere around then.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. And you were interested in possibly coming into the new sexy, and we had a really beautiful conversation that I actually remember very vividly. And I'm curious, where you were at at that point and what life was like for you. This was after the Healing Boudoir Experience months afterwards, and then kind of getting back into life and routine and your job and everything.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah, so I feel like a lot of it was after the photo shoot and everything that we'd done. It was a big step and. Part of my dealing and processing and also my own issues of, I just completely threw myself into work. Like, I also felt like I had no way out and I was at a job that as much as I absolutely loved my job, there's a bunch of factors surrounding it that brought me to a total burnout. And I remember
Rebecca Sigala:I even in that call, I was like, can you like take a deep breath and like ask your body what it needs, like just a couple times during the day And you're like, absolutely not. I cannot a second for myself. How dare I, I'm like, uhoh? Najma like something's gotta change.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:but yeah, she's also, I had gone back to work two weeks after Yoni had passed away. Mm-hmm. And a week after the funeral, which was I think two days after I had even gotten back to the country since the funeral was abroad. Wow. It's what you felt
Rebecca Sigala:you had to do at the time.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah. and it definitely in those first months held me together and I just kept on going with, I am working four days a week. I'm studying two days a week. I have Saturdays in order to do my work, and I am just gonna put my head down and get through it. And in the beginning it was a good place for me to have that anchor and that something to do and that need to keep on going to the next day. And at some point, because I also had felt that I can't set my own boundaries, I was just overworked, overtired, emotionally and mentally exhausted from everything. And I got to the point where I was working nine hour days, getting home, not being able to do anything other than sit on my phone, stare at the wall, watch tv.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. Um,
Najma Micha-el Aronow:and like all of these things of. Even waking up and being able to make myself a cup of coffee felt like a chore. I was like, I can't make food. I can't go out shopping for my basic groceries even. I just like got into this place of I'm so I'm drowning under my life and there's no way out.
Rebecca Sigala:Wow. But it didn't necessarily seem like that from the outside, right?
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Oh, I'm very good at playing the game and I'm very good at the facade. Like, you were going
Rebecca Sigala:to work. You were like, oh, yeah. Doing the things. I think when people think about like drowning, they don't necessarily realize that so many people It's internally feel that way.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah. It, it's so internal and I think also because of, because it's so not talked about of, I was talking about all these things, but at the same time, everyone's seeing me waking up for work in the morning. I'm doing my job every day. I enjoy what I'm doing still. I'm coming home. I'm not laying in bed and depressed,
Rebecca Sigala:but Right.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:There's, it's still this feeling of I can't do this every day and not wanting to do it.
Rebecca Sigala:Mm-hmm. Like the self care and the fun and the creativity Yeah. That you wanted to bring back into your life. That makes a lot of sense. And I think traditionally when people think about my work, but if I listen to my podcast, they probably know the difference. they think about, you know, body confidence as like one thing, or body image as one thing. So I remember talking to you and you're like, I don't know if like, body image is really the thing that I wanna work on. I feel disconnected from my body. Can you like, share a little bit about that?
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah. So I grew up in a very open to different bodies. Community. I grew up going to naked hot springs and naked beaches. Love it. Just being exposed and seeing a lot of different bodies around me is very normal
Rebecca Sigala:to see bodies.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yes. which made me very comfortable in my own skin and was amazing for me growing up. but the place that for me it felt like it was disconnected was that there was my body. That's fine. That's whatever. I don't need to think about it, but it's also all the things of inside of Mm. My hunger cues. Mm. I need to go pee when I'm tired, when I'm something. And also because I was in this place that I wasn't setting my own boundaries. Also, I was letting myself cross a lot of them.
Rebecca Sigala:Mm. Not thinking about it. So I
Najma Micha-el Aronow:got to this place that, because I was making myself uncomfortable, I just. Blocked it all out.
Rebecca Sigala:Would you say that growing up it was more body positivity? I mean whatever. I don't even, these terms are crazy, but like was it more more of like a neutrality kind of vibe? Like it's just bodies are, bodies are bodies.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:So there's a couple aspects of it. There is one side of it that I grew up also with a very, very skinny mom. Naturally that's just her body type.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:And my dad is a lot bigger and rounder and I have more of my dad's side of the family's figure. So also while growing up, my mom was very, very conscious to make sure that I feel comfortable in my body, even though she is what most people would typically call model and like model fit. Mm-hmm. And skinny.
Rebecca Sigala:In the beauty standard.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Exactly. So from that place, she was really scared that I would get negatively impacted by it. So she was conscious of that.
Rebecca Sigala:Were you aware of that at the time?
Najma Micha-el Aronow:No. I knew about this later on once I was in high school, we had spoken about it. Okay. I feel like that's a good thing. but also I remember growing up hearing from a lot of people around me talking so negatively about her, of asking her why she doesn't eat enough and Oh wow. Like why she's so skinny and like, are you okay? Are you sick? Doctors not believing her. Like, wow. The insanity of like her needing to go shop in the kids section because she can't find clothes in her size. In women's,
Rebecca Sigala:yeah. Body shaming affects literally everybody.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:So it was also really interesting because I was growing up with that at home alongside of growing up in the generation where body positivity became this like, huge movement, huge thing and movement that was like, talked about everywhere. I mean, even when I was in high school, I ended up having an Instagram page that I ran for I think like six months of like, not body positivity, but like body neutrality of like, this is just me. I'm existing as a person and this is what I look like. You
Rebecca Sigala:never told me about this.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I, I haven't looked at it in years. I don't have the account anymore. Oh my gosh. I'm pretty sure it exists somewhere. I think it was called just trying to stay positive.
Rebecca Sigala:Hmm. Interesting. Yeah.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:But it was really this place of like having all those different sides of it and yet growing up in a culture that still. Aims towards the media is showing you skinny bodies. The media is showing you these perfect things. And at the same time I'm having from the other side of the body, positive movement of fat is beautiful and you need to have curves and this and that, which was also at home meeting my mom and my situation in the house in a very weird place because she's on the other side of the scale. Mm-hmm. And the body positivity movement very much overlooked. People who are on the opposite end.
Rebecca Sigala:Absolutely. Still does.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah. So it was like this mishmash of all these different places, which I think in some place I was like, I am mid-size, whatever. Right. I'm just gonna not think about this. Clothes fit me, I am.
Rebecca Sigala:Whatever it was like, I don't want part, I don't wanna part any of this's. I'm done. Yeah. Wow. That makes so much sense. Like just the way that you explain that right now, that makes a lot of sense. Mm-hmm. And so, yeah, so I feel like that really was, even like when we were talking before the boudoir experience, it really was that of like, uh, I don't really, you know, it's not like I feel negatively about the way that I look, but it's not necessarily positive. Like it's not something that I really think about very often. Yeah. And what maybe is one of the manifestations of that is feeling disconnected from your body. Mm-hmm. And a lot of people say that disconnected from my body. What did that mean for you at the time when we spoke the first time before The New Sexy. Like, where were you at? what, what was that disconnection?
Najma Micha-el Aronow:That I wasn't able to put boundaries that were keeping myself safe.
Rebecca Sigala:Mm. Like what?
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Like overworking myself, like going longer periods than I really should have without eating. Not because I'm tried to lose weight or anything. Mm-hmm. But just because I can't face going into the kitchen and making food and Yeah. The million different things that are, that need to come before that in order for me to do it and all the things after. So I'm just gonna ignore my body if I don't feel hungry. I don't need to deal with the anxiety of making food
Rebecca Sigala:and everything solved. Yeah. Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. I really get that. So when we spoke that time, you're like, Nope, this is not the right time. Like, I'm in the thick of it and it just doesn't feel aligned. Right?
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah. I was also in the last semester of my school year and oh my gosh, within all of this. So it was like, as much as there was a part of me that was drawn to it and feeling like this is something that is important for me, it was just the one thing too much, I was like, I can't juggle all of these things. I am, yeah. Not juggling what I'm doing right now. Right. I was like, I need something off my plate in order to be able to do this.
Rebecca Sigala:But something really amazing came from that conversation. Right.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:So immediately after that conversation. So you say it was not all lost. You remember that whole conversation? I don't remember the whole conversation. I remember specifically the moment you told me to think about what my life would be like if I quit, and I just started crying.
Rebecca Sigala:Oh.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I was like, I, I cannot forget that feeling. I was just like, it was such a relief and it was like all of a sudden I had imagined this life where I'm working half days where I'm able to work and go to school and enjoy my life in between.
Rebecca Sigala:Wow.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:And it, it was insane thinking about doing something that at the time felt that insanely dramatic and Yeah, absolutely impossible. Wasn't even really
Rebecca Sigala:a thought that you were considering before.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:and just like, it, it felt like this insane weight and burden had lifted off of me, and I felt so light and I just like started crying from that. Wow. And I was like, I, I was like, if this is my reaction just from thinking about doing this, like it's gotta happen. I, I can't, I can't anymore. I was like, I, I'm, I'm done. I, I can't do this.
Rebecca Sigala:Didn't it like, was it like a week later you're like, I gave him notice, or, I don't know. It's really fast.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Oh, yeah. I, I think two days after that I got an interview at like two different places. Um.
Rebecca Sigala:And talk about manifestation.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah. I don't know if it was a week, but it was definitely like within a few weeks that I had signed a contract with a new job and told my job six months in advance that I'm not continuing next year.
Rebecca Sigala:That's incredible.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I remember everyone was shocked. They were like, what? You just told them that you're leaving now? I was like, yeah,
Rebecca Sigala:yeah.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:They have enough time to find my replacement. It's not, it's not on me. All the guilt is on someone else. I found an amazing job that I'm super stoked about. That is like, it was also, it was like a job that was paying me what I feel like I deserve and allowing me to have the freedom and hours of doing what I want. Yeah. And being,
Rebecca Sigala:and being a human honestly.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah. And also like being able to find a place that aligned so much with myself of like, it is not that I'm even going to another preschool that feels like I'm there because I have to. Right. Like the environment and the people there. Also, the first day that I had worked there and gone to see them was so positive and exciting and just, it made me feel good to come to work there.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. And I feel like yes, that was really amazing that that showed up in your life, but it was also because you aligned with yourself. You were like, oh, okay, you like had this awareness and then like right away you took action in that alignment with yourself. So then that's what happens. Yeah. Like then you actually do create things and experiences. Not that we can control everything. We definitely can't. but it was a lot of you having that awareness and aligning with yourself.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah, I think I definitely, if I didn't have that alignment and understanding of not only I need this, but I need this and this is feasible, it gave me a lot of support and like a spine to be able to go out and ask for what I know I needed and deserved.
Rebecca Sigala:Incredible. Makes me so happy. Even just now, I'm like,
Najma Micha-el Aronow:yes, Najma. I'm like three months into this job, I'm still super excited about it. Ah,
Rebecca Sigala:incredible. Yeah. Okay, so then I finished that round. Now The New Sexy is not in rounds just for anybody listening, but I reached out because we were doing our next round, which was a summer and you're like, oh yeah, actually this is perfect timing and three
Najma Micha-el Aronow:months lines up perfect on my summer break.
Rebecca Sigala:It was amazing. And it was also just a few months after we spoke and. What made you do it then? What did you want to get out of it?
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I think it was partially that step of realizing that after like having a conversation with you and having someone who also understands my process and what I've been through and like, we talked in between a bit back and forth. Like someone who has seen me through these steps and has been able to support me in such an amazing way and give me ways to reframe and rebalance my life. and just with the fact that I was like, the biggest thing that was holding me back the first time was that I have too much on my plate. And I was like, okay, well, and now I've got about half of it on my plate and anyways, in a second I'm leaving this job and going out to summer. I was like, it works. I have to do it.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. I remember that. It felt very expansive. It felt like, it felt like you had already made some of those shifts where. You weren't drowning anymore, there were still things that you wanted to evolve and like take, I mean, definitely
Najma Micha-el Aronow:in the beginning of The New Sexy, it was still at the end of my last job, but I like, yeah, felt that breath of fresh air and even just the space of having made that decision that I'm done with that.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. And I think for you, like it really was about like the sexiness, the sensuality, the waking up in the morning and like wanting to just feel alive and look forward to life and take care of yourself and your body from a place of self love. That's what I remember the goals being in the beginning. Yeah. Was there anything else?
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I think that's pretty much it. I mean like there's a lot of small nuances and I remember like also in the first few weeks of The New Sexy, like a lot of things were kind of like shifting and I don't remember exactly what it was, but I felt like there was a lot of shift in the beginning because I had come in also with the whole, the first conversation we'd had was about these huge dramatic shifts that I was doing in my life. Yeah. So in the beginning I was like, oh, I need to find like a dramatic change. And I was like, well, no, I, I just did that. Calm down. Calm
Rebecca Sigala:down. Take small
Najma Micha-el Aronow:steps. Yeah. Um, and over a lot of the course it was like realizing that it's these small things in day-to-day lives, these little steps, which are these huge wins because I've slowed down enough to be able to see them and realize that there are these tiny things in between that are not working and not fitting in.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. Was that something that you realized, like in the middle of the course? when did you realize, wait, these little shifts are really adding up?
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I don't think it was till the end. Really? Whoa.
Rebecca Sigala:I was,
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I was doing them like even now it's the first time I think I'm like verbally put it out there and idea
Rebecca Sigala:that's why we're doing this idea. Podcast idea. We're just doing it for you idea.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I mean, this is what I felt in the other podcast. I was like, this is just my recap and like my little moments breather after I did this whole process. Literally just have this for myself.
Rebecca Sigala:Just another coaching celebration call. Perfect.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:But I really like saying it now and thinking about it now I think doing it through the course was it just kind of came and instinctually through the steps that you were taking us through. Yeah. With the different modules and sitting down and having conversations on the Zoom calls and a bit in the, well the first thing that comes to mind
Rebecca Sigala:is like the basic first step, which was like the self-love checklist. It was like. You know, two liters of water, 15 minutes of movement and setting alarms to check in with your body throughout the day. So that was really like the beginning, and it wasn't, oh, because I wanna change my body, or, oh, because I'm bad and I need to be good. Again, it wasn't about any of that. It was just like, okay, this is the baseline and I'm worthy of this. This is the
Najma Micha-el Aronow:minimum that I can do to take care of myself.
Rebecca Sigala:No, but like, I mean, it does seem very simple, but so many people, including myself, you even flow through these things because sometimes it's like, okay, you're on top of it and you're in dialogue with your body. And then other times, things happen in life and things, you know, throw you and bring you out of connection with your body and yourself. So it makes sense that like we'd have to revisit. Okay. Am I drinking enough water? Of course you're drinking some water, but am I drinking enough? am I moving my body intentionally and not just because I have to go to the store or whatever? And like the alarms, I think that's actually not so simple. That's like next level. It's like it just for anyone who's listening, it's these alarms that I have my clients set every couple hours for the day asking their body. There's like a process that you go through, but the idea is that you ask your body, what do you need right now? And so, yeah. I'm curious if like what were those initial wins do you remember? Like in the beginning, like the first few weeks
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I think. I don't know. Okay. Hold on. Going back to the self-love, I was like, I have a thought that I need to start with in order to get into this. So in the beginning when we did the self-love checklist, which I think you also ended up giving to me like a few weeks before we started. So like once we Oh yeah. I was like, yeah, like do this now please. and like you're saying like it's all these things that seem so small. And in the beginning I was like, oh, okay, whatever. Like drinking two liters of water, fine, moving for 15 minutes. Okay, whatever. Like, I work, obviously I can move for 15 minutes. Right. Not a big deal. and then you had me also add on one more thing for myself and I had chosen that it was, I need 15 minutes outside. It doesn't have to be movement. Doesn't have, I need to be outside of my house.
Rebecca Sigala:Mm-hmm.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Open air.
Rebecca Sigala:Right. and like intentional.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah. So like sometimes I would go sit in the park, sometimes I would like just walk down the street. There was a couple times that I literally just went out and walked around the block. I was like, I need, yeah. I can't, I can't sit down. But I can't. I do that
Rebecca Sigala:too because I,
Najma Micha-el Aronow:yeah.
Rebecca Sigala:Most of my job is sitting.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:So this is the thing for me, it was really interesting because I work and you move.'cause I'm in a preschool, I'm moving, I'm inside, I'm outside. But it's all coming from a place of work, not for me. Hmm. So like even if I am outside for half an hour, it's not in the place of taking that moment and breathing the fresh air. So I think that, yeah, I was gonna,
Rebecca Sigala:that's exactly what I was gonna ask. Like what was the difference then
Najma Micha-el Aronow:breathing, doing it slowly and consciously.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I don't know if slowly I'm still working on that one, but consciously, yeah. And then like from that, going into the alarms, which also, in the beginning when you had said it, when I was at my previous job, I was like, I can't, I can't take a second to breathe. And then all of a sudden you're asking us to put alarms on every two hours. This is like, oh my God. All right.
Rebecca Sigala:I know. I told you guys, like, I had resistance to that too when I first started. Yeah.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:And in the beginning it was crazy. Like I had put them on, I remember it took me like two days to like get to it, to actually turn them on my phone. And I just had these moments of like, okay, like the worlds could explode around me. I don't care. I'm allowed to have five seconds Yeah. To breathe in and out.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:And even though I am working with very small children, five seconds is not gonna do anything
Rebecca Sigala:to me. Mm.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:And it was actually really cute because there ended up being a few times that the kids. Were like looking at me.'cause they saw that I had to like fully like become still. And I just like brought them into it. And I was like, let's breathe in, let's breathe out. And there's a really cute children's exercise of blowing out the candle and smelling the flower cute. So I was doing that with them and it became, I think that was like the first win of like proving to myself that I can do this. Hmm. Nothing's going to happen. Yeah. A few seconds out of the day, I stop. I'm allowed to stop. I'm allowed to think I am allowed to be conscious of myself no matter what the situation is. And to not only that, wow. It started helping me in so many different situations of realizing, oh, this situation's triggering anxiety in me. I'm super dizzy because I haven't been drinking, or, oh shit, I'm standing in the sun. I am getting sunburnt. And just like all these things, like you would assume that you would be able to pick up on your own body. And for me, with all these disconnections for years, and I think also in general as a society, we're so built to, like, if you're in a social situation, you're ignoring yourself and it's about everything that's going on around you.
Rebecca Sigala:Yep. And it, it might just be as simple as like, oh, I'm gonna finish this email. I'm not gonna go to the bathroom. Mm-hmm. Or like you said, like I'm talking to someone and I'm in the sun and I know that if I stand here for two minutes longer, I'm gonna get sunburned, but whatever, I'm talking to this person and you're so right that it's just accepted. And even that's what you're supposed to do to be a, I don't know. I feel like it kind of ties into like productivity or like. Just getting shit done. Yeah. There you go. There you go. that's amazing. That's amazing how, first of all, it automatically rippled out to your interactions with your students. I love that so much. Like learning how to, you know, have a dialogue and relationship with your body and then you're like, oh, like here, this is how you breathe, or this is how you talk to yourself or your body. Like I feel like that's just so incredible and such a testament to how self-love is something that's not just internal, that it like really emanates. I mean, it
Najma Micha-el Aronow:also, my job is so much of the reason that I even started even before I had done the boudoir shoot with you, like started working more on myself and Yeah, like healing, understanding, because all of a sudden I'm working with really tiny children from the ages of one to three who are in such an important developmental age of learning regulation and learning self-control. Yeah. And then all of a sudden I'm seeing on myself of I'm telling these kids it's okay to cry and I can't, or like Wow. Validating them in their feelings and realizing that I would never dare validate myself in my own feelings. Wow. And getting to that point of like, I need to change how I see myself because it doesn't matter what I'm gonna say to them. It can mm-hmm. Get, it can get through to some extent.
Rebecca Sigala:Right.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:But if I believe it and if I am doing it, then it is also so much easier to show them that and show up for them.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. so much less needs to be said, and it just becomes part of who you are and what you talk about and what you do and what they see. Yeah. Exactly. You're embodying it. That's incredible. What was it like to go through. This experience in The New Sexy, was it what you expected? Was there anything that was unexpected in terms of, there's all these different components, right? There's the sisterhood group, which is on WhatsApp. There's the, weekly calls that we have, there's the modules. Like what was that just like for you to go through that?
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I think I expected it to be a lot more like a regimented program. Like at the end, the you're like, this is so not like other coachings. And all these things are like, we're not going step by step, like you formulas by your own pace. You got this. Use what you need. So like I came in with this thing of like also like, I have these big goals and these big changes and my life is gonna go from completely one side to a totally other side and it's gonna be like this huge dramatic thing. and then coming in and realizing like. Oh, we're just like sitting and chatting on the calls, like mm-hmm. We're having a mo this like hour and a half hour that we're sitting here meditating, having a moment to journal. talking through the things that we're writing and like being able to verbally process them. Um, did that like
Rebecca Sigala:make you nervous at first? Were you like, wait, am I gonna see this transformation that I want? Or were you like, this feels right?
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I definitely, the first few weeks was like, I'm not really sure that I know what's happening. I was like, I'm go. I'm going with it because I trust the process. And also, yeah,
Rebecca Sigala:I'm, you did, wow. I'm enjoying these
Najma Micha-el Aronow:conversations and I'm enjoying being here, but I was like, I don't know if I'm getting out of this with this like huge goal that I have in mind. Yeah. Like even, it wasn't even something concrete, but just like this idea that I'm going to have this 180 lifetime completely
Rebecca Sigala:transform your life.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah. And it really was like over time realizing how much I need to take, what. Is working for me out of this. And also in the modules, I was like, so trying to go like 1, 1, 1, 1, 1. I was like, I can't go to number five if I haven't done number two. Oh, no. And at one point I was looking at, I was like, wait, but I wanna do that module. I'm like, okay, why not go do it. It doesn't matter. so like having that, and also at some point with the alarms, actually I decided to turn it off and I like felt guilty telling you, I was just like, I stopped doing what I'm supposed to be doing in the course. I turned the alarms off. But also realizing I was like, the reason that I had done it was because I was realizing that it was making me hyper-conscious of the time. And I was like, oh wait, I know there's gonna be alarms, so hold on. So I need to set all these things up.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. And
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I was like, I can just listen.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah,
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I can just, every once in a while stop and breathe. And it doesn't have to be something that is regimented and something's this, and it's becoming more of a part of I'm who you are. Constantly listening to myself. It's not every two hours I'm stopping. Yeah. Listening to myself. It's, I'm in the middle of doing something and, oh, wait, I'm uncomfortable. My legs fall asleep. Let me move it.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. Oh my gosh. That is so huge. And that's exactly what they're for. I remember when you told me that, I was like, great, that's what it's supposed to be for. Like, it's for practice. And then it really just becomes, okay, I have a dialogue with my body and that's the purpose.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:So I think it really was like, at that point that I had the biggest shift, at least in the mindset, I was like, oh, this is a win. Like this is something that I should be proud of. I'm like, whoa, I'm listening to myself. I was like, all these years, all these things. Straight up, haven't been listening. Like now that I can hear myself, we've got more challenges and I need to work on actually doing the things.
Rebecca Sigala:But yes,
Najma Micha-el Aronow:we're still considering this a win.
Rebecca Sigala:Huge. So huge. So that was probably your first big takeaway when that happens.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah, I feel like there's like a couple main things that like I ended up realizing, at least afterwards, realizing in hindsight,
Rebecca Sigala:okay, so tell me.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:So it was that with the timers and listening to myself and being able to have that consciousness of what's going on.
Rebecca Sigala:Mm-hmm.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:And also at the time I had done a separation between listening and doing based off of what I have listened to myself.
Rebecca Sigala:Hmm.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:like one of the. Days I was flying to Poland and we're sitting on the flight and my alarm goes off and I'm like, I need water.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:We're in the middle of takeoff. I have no water. Um, you're not getting water. And just this moment of being like, oh, I can't, I, I'm thirsty, but I, I'm stuck. I can't. Mm-hmm. And I, I like went through this process of like, wait, what am I supposed to do with this? And then going back to like, okay, wait, hold on. You're a teacher. What do you mean? What are you gonna tell your students when you right now can't grab them, their bottle and they don't have any water in it or
Rebecca Sigala:something. Wow.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I was like, that's all right. I understand that you're thirsty and the second I can help you. I will help you.
Rebecca Sigala:Yes. So good.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:And like from that, it really became this process of like, okay, so I have the listening. And then I have the doing, and these are two different things. and I think that was the second thing that I really started working on, was giving my body what it needs and being able to nurture it be beautiful. and also like, it was really little things of I'd like be lying in bed and instead of being like, oh shit, I need to go pee. I was like, no, I want to, this is uncomfortable. Yeah. I, I would like to get up right now and go do this. And just that like shift of I want to do this. I'm not forced to do this, I don't have to do this.
Rebecca Sigala:Right. Which is exactly where you were before when you were like, everything feels like a chore. Like my self-care feels like a burden. And like I'm pushing myself out of this place of self hate. And then it's like, not maybe hate, but you get the idea. and now it's like, oh, I actually want to do this for myself. I wanna nurture myself. This feels good.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah. So like, once I got to those two things of. Like realizing those things of all of a sudden I'm like, oh my God, I'm gonna do all these things now. And I was like, okay, so I'm gonna dance and I'm gonna do hobbies and I'm gonna go out.
Rebecca Sigala:Mm. So fun
Najma Micha-el Aronow:and
Rebecca Sigala:that.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:And that's kind of when I got to my third thing of being like, wait, I can't, I can't logically do all of this. Yeah. And there's gonna be times that I'm gonna screw this up. which started then me working and really focusing on being able to do things imperfectly because I also in general have very black and white and a hundred percent or zero, there is no inbetweens. Was
Rebecca Sigala:there something like in the course or our conversations or the sisterhood community that made you kind of make that jump of like, wait, I don't have to do this perfectly. Actually, I shouldn't be doing this perfectly if I wanna be doing it consistently.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I think it was a lot of the, in the calls of. Again, things that just like little bits and pieces of hearing the other women speak about how hard it is for them to do the modules and they're like, oh, well I'm not keeping up with this and I'm not keeping up with that. And talking about, like, I remember one of them was talking about like food planning. Mm-hmm. Okay. I can do it this time, but it's not gonna work out next time. Mm-hmm. And in my brain, like if I can do it once and not another time, then why am I even doing it? Just give up on it. It's not worth it. And like really confronting that feeling of, well, I can do it. Sometimes
Rebecca Sigala:it's not,
Najma Micha-el Aronow:it's not gonna make it worse to do it. Sometimes it's kind of like
Rebecca Sigala:that whole question where you'll be asked how would you treat your best friend? Or what would you say to your best friend? But you actually get a real life person in front of you going through something similar as you. And you're like, oh wait, like this is what I would say, or this is what I do like. it's easier to kind of translate that to yourself in the moment.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:And it's also, it's so much easier to like do it when in the beginning, it's not that I'm coming from a process of like how much you think about what it would be like for someone else. It's like, no, there's someone who I care about and who's mm-hmm. Going through all these same steps and is going through issues that is opening up and being so vulnerable with their things. And obviously, obviously my instinct is that I want to help and I wanna be there and I wanna support. And just like that absolute dissonance from like, I cannot give myself that at all. And just like all these leniency and things where on the day to day, I'm like, yeah, of course. It's totally normal to mess up. Like you don't go one week, you go the next week. It, it doesn't work out this time. You can do it next time. Right. It's fine. Yeah. So like starting to. Still a process, but like starting with bits and pieces of having that in my life of also, like I started working out and I was super excited for the first few weeks I was managing to do it every week and then all of a sudden there was one week that I wasn't feeling good and I was having anxiety, so I canceled a class and my first instinct was,
Rebecca Sigala:that's it.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I messed up. Like, I can't, I can't do this. I've messed up once. I'm just gonna keep on messing this up. I'm not gonna be able to get back on track. Very common
Rebecca Sigala:mindset.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:And then I took a second, I was like, listen, what, how, how is this related to next week? Right now, it's now working out for you. This has absolutely no weight on what's gonna happen in the future. Mm-hmm. One thing is not to, or who you are
Rebecca Sigala:as a person.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah. So just like being able to like, even if I still have that like guilt and that thought process in the back of my mind, being able to take that moment and stop and be like, okay, it's fine. Also now, especially with like all the holidays.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. So many holidays.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I was like, I, I missed I think like two weeks. There was one week that was a five week month and I only had four classes during the month and the next week I missed to end. It's just, I was like, oh, okay, but I can, I can just sign up and go again.
Rebecca Sigala:Whoa. And
Najma Micha-el Aronow:like that moment I was like, oh, I just did it. And there's also a lot of other things that I've like been in parallel working on, like easing up my black and white thinking. But like that for me was because it was so focused on through The New Sexy Yeah. And Body centered, yeah. Both in going and not going.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah, a hundred percent. And also not going honoring that. Is that what you mean by that?
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah. Like honoring the space of both not going, because I listen to my body and I don't feel well enough to go.
Rebecca Sigala:Mm-hmm.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Or in giving my self the forgiveness and space for not going for no reason. Yeah. Of it just didn't work out. Yeah. There's, it's not that I can't, it's not that I have something that's stopping me, I just didn't. Yeah. And that's okay. And that's not a negative judgment on my character or my ability or my want to do this thing.
Rebecca Sigala:Right.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:It just, and I is,
Rebecca Sigala:and I think that people, yes, a hundred percent. It's totally okay. It doesn't mean anything about your worth. And also when we are in that black and white perfectionist mode. That actually becomes a thing that blocks us from doing it consistently, because either we're doing it all or we're doing nothing. And that doesn't serve us. Like, we're not consistently caring for ourselves. Definitely not from a place of like joy and desire, but even physically, like it's just all or nothing. And I've totally been there and I think that, honestly think that diet culture has a lot to do with it. Um, but people experience this block of perfectionism in so many parts of their lives because we have so much pressure to look and be and act a certain way.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah. It really is. And I think it's just like, it's one of those things of like now, like looking back onto it of like, now that I've processed the entire thought of. How, how can you let your, one time you messed up and you're just gonna give up on everything. Like Yeah. That's the disservice to me of like, that's the part that gets me so much and like keeps me trying to do this and be able to get back up and do it again and keep going with it. Of it's not, giving up is not the choice that that's doing a disservice to myself. Mm-hmm. Even if I'm doing it, if I said I was gonna go work out once a week and I'm doing it once every two weeks, I'm going once every two weeks to work. Yeah. And that is more than I've done in years. It's amazing. That is amazing. I think that also was because of the beginning of the program and like being able to start recognizing all those small steps. Also like those little things and those little wins started feeling so much bigger and so much more important because I realized the scale of what this tiny little shift is actually doing on the long term and it affecting me. Hmm.
Rebecca Sigala:What it represents. Yes, 100%. I'm curious because I think someone could listen to this or even past Najma could have listened to this and be like, yeah, this makes logical sense and I don't wanna be a perfectionist, but What was it about The New Sexy specifically that allowed you the framework to let go of the perfectionism? Obviously it's a process and it's ever evolving, but you mentioned seeing other people in the same situation as you. Was there anything else that helped you actually internalize this?
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I think it was mostly just the community and the calls. Yeah, like having, like it really, I feel like the calls that I didn't talk as much and was just listening, I almost got more out of
Rebecca Sigala:Wow.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Because everything that you're coaching the other women on and that they're talking about, I think 90% of what was said was either one-to-one directly, what I was feeling going through, experiencing. Mm-hmm. Or even if the situation wasn't the same, the same feelings were coming up and the same blocks were coming up and being able to hear also just the, the sheer normalization of it, of it's not me and I'm not the only one doing this and we're
Rebecca Sigala:different and I'm not wrong or bad for experiencing this or struggling with this. This is human.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah. And also like we're all going through these steps. We're all moving through, we're all from completely different walks of life from totally, clearly all over the world.
Rebecca Sigala:Totally.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:But everyone's doing it. I was like, we're all going through this. We're all able to. And just listening to also other people talking about their wins and the things that they were able to do to overcome is so inspiring. Like you so rarely get to hear someone else boasting about what they're happy about.
Rebecca Sigala:Right. And also maybe even prefacing it like, oh, this might not sound like a big deal, but blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, holy shit. What do you mean you did that? Like, that's incredible. And for you to witness someone else going through that and. maybe not at first, recognizing how big the win is. I think it kind of rewires our brain to see those shifts as really big.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah. I think also with being able to see the little things as wins is really what you said just now of I'm hearing someone else say something that they're like, they're downsizing and like, like, oh, it was just this, whatever. I'm like, oh my God, wait. But like, but this is what you've been working on. That's amazing.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Wow. There are so many moments like that. That was really, really special. Were there any challenges that came up along the way as you were going through The New Sexy and what did you do to move through them?
Najma Micha-el Aronow:A lot of it was in the beginning, and I guess somewhat towards the end of my guilt of the black and white, which I think. Was also why like, that was like such a distinct shift for me is like the third thing that I said that I kind of I feel like permanently shifted. I hope so, at least.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah, it feels very deep,
Najma Micha-el Aronow:but just that place of. In the beginning on the days that I didn't do my self-care checklist, I was feeling really bad about it and I was like, well, I'm not doing this correctly. I'm not doing this properly. When we would have calls come up that I didn't fully connect to, I was like, wait, so why am I in this course? This doesn't make sense. Mm-hmm. I'm and days that I didn't manage to breathe during my alarms and days that I realized that I hadn't done the module. And half an hour before we log onto the Zoom, like, wait, I need to do all these things. And then I saw the journal prompts. I was like, I can't deal with the journal prompts right now. It's too much emotions. Fuck the journal prompts. They're amazing. But also, yes, I was like, sometimes I need to confront myself a bit too much. I know. I
Rebecca Sigala:know what it's like of
Najma Micha-el Aronow:just having all these situations coming up that I was feeling so guilty about and being like, well, okay, I can't, so I can't do this, so I'm not gonna do it. And then continuing to, in fact, do. And it in fact was actually really good and helped
Rebecca Sigala:showing up imperfectly.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah.
Rebecca Sigala:Again and again and again. And you really did. You're like, I'm remember still showing up and it's
Najma Micha-el Aronow:still imperfect.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. Because like when is it gonna be perfect? We've been like sold this fantasy of what life is supposed to be like, or adulthood or, or relationships with ourselves and it's not it.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah.
Rebecca Sigala:And that showing up for yourself, I think that's literally everything. Having your own back, treating yourself with compassion and love, and not just when it's easy to do that. Yeah. But actually, especially not when it's easy to do it. Exactly, exactly. but with
Najma Micha-el Aronow:that of like the underlying layer that it's not only that I can show up imperfectly for myself, it's that I am allowed to celebrate when I do, and I'm allowed to not feel guilty when I don't.
Rebecca Sigala:Mm
Najma Micha-el Aronow:of, and even if I didn't do something perfectly and the next day I did it half-assed. I am allowed to be proud of that. And not only allowed, I should be proud of that because I did it. I got off, I didn't stay in the, I'm giving up on this. I pulled myself up and I tried again.
Rebecca Sigala:Woah. That's so, so wise and perfectly put. Okay. before I go to like after The New Sexy and the continuation and all of that, I know that, I think it was like our 11th call or something like that, and we'd been talking about beauty standards and diet culture, and especially because you grew up in such a body positive environment and bodies were so normalized. I think that was part of why you didn't feel like your relationship with your body, your experience of your body really fit into the general narrative that women often talk about and. Then all of this started coming up about, you know, how we see bodies and body comments and expanding our definition of beauty even more. And I remember that there were some light bulb moments there and I'm curious if you wanna share what they were for you and how you relate to them now.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:So I think a lot of it was due to A toxic positivity, which tied in a lot to the body positivity culture of, yeah, you are not allowed to not like this. Yeah. If you don't like your body, you are part of the problem, you're part of the diet culture, that's wrong. You're not allowed to. So if you don't have anything nice to say, shut up. You're not allowed to talk about it. It's like the
Rebecca Sigala:ultimate gaslighting of yourself.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah. And it was just like all these little moments. I remember one of the meditations you were telling us to do, and I was like, okay. Like I'll think about it. I'm like thinking, I thinking,
Rebecca Sigala:okay, I'll think about it.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I was like, I don't, I can't bring up any memory of like anyone in my family ever saying something negative about my size, about how I look about my body, about any of these things. Like the, it wasn't talked about, at least not when I was growing up.
Rebecca Sigala:Right.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Um, and so then in
Rebecca Sigala:your mind you're probably like, well then I don't have any body image struggles. That's it.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:So, okay. So that's, so that was like the mindset that I came into it with. And this time when we were thinking about it, like this memory of my mom praising my cousins for having this like easy beauty and right. Then all of a sudden of like going back, I'm like, my mom never talked about my body, ever. But it was still talked about in the context of other people. And I was still always hearing the comments about other people and other things, and there was nothing said to me. Not positive or negative.
Rebecca Sigala:Hmm.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:So if nothing positive is being said, then the interpretation that ended up being
Rebecca Sigala:integrated.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Integrated into my life and like Understood in a subconscious level was if they're pretty then you are not.
Rebecca Sigala:I'm not one of the really pretty ones.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah. Because if I was, someone would say something. and like things like that And then also just how much, I hate
Rebecca Sigala:that. I mean, it makes so much sense that it's, no one's really to blame. And it seems like your mom tried so hard. We're all victims of diet culture, but like. I hate that.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah. And so like that was one of the times. And the other time the other thing that came up for me was one of my relatives, like every time I would walk in to her house, it was a comment on my weight.
Rebecca Sigala:Hmm. It was
Najma Micha-el Aronow:always on, oh, you look amazing. Oh, you've lost weight. But it was always in relationship to my size. I would not walk in and have a compliment of, I love your clothes, you look radiant, anything. It was constantly based on my size. Hmm. and also, so what did you
Rebecca Sigala:internalize about that?
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Well, so there is a lot more complicated of a situation because I was also comparing it to her daughters are two different sizes and, uh. Just, I mean, not even with me. I also know that the talk around the house is very weight related. and even in situations where it's not per se, outwardly stated as a negative, it's talked about continuously. Mm-hmm. And I was like, I'm feeling really uncomfortable about this, and I'm some, I'm an adult here. How are the children interpreting this? And I was like, I'm like, I can't be part of this. I was like, there, there's a lot of things that are out of my control and that I can't do externally, but I was like, I, I don't want to be part of this. And at some point I actually ended up telling her, I was like, please stop commenting on my weight. I was like, I don't care if I gain weight. I don't care if I lose weight. I don't wanna talk about my weight.
Rebecca Sigala:Which probably also led you to the opting out of everything.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah.
Rebecca Sigala:And being like, it doesn't really matter. Yeah. Like I don't really care how I look either way, or, and then also having that. More deeply ingrained, more subconscious thing of like, I'm not one of the really pretty ones.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Mm-hmm. It was also interesting, I think with these two memories, there was something that actually ended up coming up for me like the week after we finished the new sexy of, I used to look in the mirror all the time when I was a kid. Anytime I would walk by a mirror I would be trying, oh, I remember you
Rebecca Sigala:sharing this. Yeah.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I was like, I did, I don't even remember
Rebecca Sigala:this. Oh, maybe someone else did.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:So it was this thing of like realizing like how consciously I now avoid looking at the mirror and I feel so guilty anytime I look at myself in the mirror. Woah, like when I dress up, I'm allowed to look in the mirror. If I do my makeup, I'm allowed to look in the mirror. But if I walk by it, why are you looking like. What do, what do you need to see?
Rebecca Sigala:Right.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:And just like this internalization of realizing like how many years I had people telling me like, why are you looking in the mirror? Why are you doing this? Why are you, it's not important. Like, what's your issue? What, like what's there that, that you're trying to find? And of realizing that it caused this place of like, I don't want to look at myself. I feel uncomfortable when I look at myself. There's something wrong
Rebecca Sigala:with looking at myself.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah. I'm not allowed, I'm not allowed to have that. Like it's not even like I can like myself, I can be okay with how I look, but I can't have that like egotistical moment of, damn, she looks good.
Rebecca Sigala:Have you allowed yourself those moments now?
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I think I fully processed that and put it together in the last few weeks and I've been really trying. Yes. Which is also very strange because at the preschool that I'm in, in one of the classes, the entire wall is a mirror. So it's, uh, I've been trying to use that also during the day of just like, okay, I can look at myself, I can fix my hair, I can be all cute.
Rebecca Sigala:Ugh. Yeah, I know. And then you also shared things like just getting new clothes or dressing up for work or getting your nails done, like doing those extra things that just make you feel good for no other reason, which I love. Is that something that has enhanced your relationship with yourself and your experience of life?
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I think partially. but I think also a lot of my shift with my clothing also is just because I did end up gaining weight in I think the last year or so. And because I've had such a disconnect from my body and most of my clothes are very elastic. like, I love wearing leggings and I wear dresses and I wear loose fitting pants in general. Like it's what I'm comfortable in and of all of a sudden. Realizing that I've been wearing these things for so long and I'm uncomfortable in them. And it's not that I don't like how I look, it's that my pants are freaking pressing on my stomach and that hurts, and I don't wanna be in
Rebecca Sigala:pain, right? People say I'm uncomfortable in my clothes, and then they just think I gotta change my body. I'm like, get new clothes.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Clothes. So like I, I didn't have the side side of like changing my body, but like, it just,
Rebecca Sigala:it,
Najma Micha-el Aronow:If the pants closed, then they fit, but no, it, I'm uncomfortable, therefore this does not fit me. Yeah. This is not what I should be wearing. so I think a lot of that has like, been very prevalent in my life.
Rebecca Sigala:That's amazing. I still
Najma Micha-el Aronow:have, I still have the days that I like get just a bit more dressed up for work and all of that, which, especially now that I'm. Not getting bleach stains on all of them is very useful.
Rebecca Sigala:Oh, that is helpful.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Well, like also, I realized that somewhere I was like, at my dinner, I was like, I really like just wearing my tights in a random t-shirt to work. Mm. I'm comfortable. I don't need to think about it. Right. Like days that I'm running around and doing art and things, like I don't need to be super conscious and I can just be myself and go with the flow of everything when I'm wearing this. Right.
Rebecca Sigala:But that's an empowering part of it. it's not, oh, I get dressed up every day for work, or I don't get dressed up every day for work. It's, I, I can what I, I get to choose, I can, yeah. I can do what I wanna do, and I don't feel that external pressure to do it either way.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:It's not even external pressure. It's so internal for me of like, yeah, I've set these ridiculous standards, standards, goals that no one even knows about.
Rebecca Sigala:Right.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I was like, I can totally show up looking like a hobo to work one day and then come in with a dress in a full face of makeup. And that sounds like me, you're probably gonna be positive about it.
Rebecca Sigala:So Sounds like me. I love it. so you shared a little bit about where you were at before you started The New Sexy, like feeling like you were kind of on autopilot and disconnected from your body and your self care felt like a chore. Tell us what your day is like now. Like what did you get out of this experience and what does your life look like?
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Uh, so hard to consolidate down into something. My day to day, I go to work in the morning, I, I wake up and I'm not tired. I also start at some point
Rebecca Sigala:I wake up and I'm not tired.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah. I used to wake up and just be tired. Who knew sleep could help. Um, but just listening to your
Rebecca Sigala:body.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah, and I actually started setting my alarm for half an hour earlier. So now I wake up at like five 15 in the morning, just so I have like, Ooh. Yeah. So I've got like 20 minutes that I can just lay in bed and cuddles, and then I still have an hour in the morning that I can sit. I play on my phone a little bit, do crosswords. I munch on a little snack, have my coffee.
Rebecca Sigala:That sounds amazing.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I have, like, I have this morning that's to myself that also, like, I'd had it before, but just adding these, like, I think I set my alarm like 30 minutes earlier of just having that extra half an hour. So I'm not doing it in a stressed state of mind, and I know that I've got like 10, 15 minutes leniency.
Rebecca Sigala:It's not just doing it, it's a, it's, it's enjoying it.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah. So I was like realizing, I was like, well, the reason that I have this hour in the morning is because I feel like I need it. But I'm stressed about it. So something here is not working.
Rebecca Sigala:Mm-hmm. So
Najma Micha-el Aronow:like having that, I wake up and I have this easy chill morning. I've got like 40 minutes on the bus where I listen to music, I do stuff on my phone, just staring at the window.
Rebecca Sigala:Perfect.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I get to work, I make myself another cup of coffee and like also the vibe there is amazing. Like I get into work, they're playing music and it's always like old school classics.
Rebecca Sigala:Ooh, I love that. Teaching them young.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah. So it's really fun. I'm just like going into the day and I also go through the day not dreading it because I know I'm not gonna end it tired. I end up coming home from work at around one or one 30 every day. I get home, I can eat lunch. I have things that are readily available in my fridge because I had enough time to meal prep.
Rebecca Sigala:Wow, meal prep. I feel like if you would've told yourself that like four months ago, you would've been like, no fucking way.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I was like, meal prepping me. Uhuh not happening. and then also like, because I get home and even on days that I am tired, I've got time to eat and then take a nap for an hour and then I can wake up and I can go out and sit at the park, or I can play games with my boyfriend or I can go do a workout or start a project and I've got enough time to start doing all these things. And I remember like the first few weeks of working and not working full days, I was like, okay, I'm just gonna be here. I'm just gonna lie down. I'm just gonna nap. And then all of a sudden I was like, wait, I'm kind of bored. I wanna do shit.
Rebecca Sigala:Wow. And I
Najma Micha-el Aronow:started doing all of these things of, I pulled out my sewing machine again and I fixed these curtains. I pulled out a project that I've been working on and finished it up. I started making a bunch of new things for school, which is like for years and years now at, like, my old boss used to be like, you guys should make things. You should bring things. Like you should do this. And I was like, in theory, that sounds great. I'm good at this, but I, I, I can't. Yeah. And then all of a sudden I'm like, oh wait, I have time. I wanna draw this like cute little doodle on my iPad that I can print out and bring as a story to the kids. And just like having all these little things of like, oh, I really want to do this. This sounds really exciting. And being able to have the time and energy to then do that.
Rebecca Sigala:It created energy and brain space. Yeah. And
Najma Micha-el Aronow:the desire to
Rebecca Sigala:wanna do these things. And it,
Najma Micha-el Aronow:it really is like this, it's this positive cycle of, like, beforehand I was tired and because I was tired, I wasn't able to do the things that I wanted and because I was tired. Yeah. It goes in the
Rebecca Sigala:spiral
Najma Micha-el Aronow:to do the things that I needed. Um, so then all of a sudden, like I had this moment that I was like breathing and I was like, okay, I have enough time to not be tired. And then all of a sudden I was not tired and I was like, wait, I've got time. I can do things. And in turn doing these things I, or things that I enjoy and make me happy and right, like
Rebecca Sigala:I feel like I was really like, make me
Najma Micha-el Aronow:want to keep on doing this.
Rebecca Sigala:It was really becoming like more of yourself. It wasn't like, oh my God, I'm a completely different person. It's like, no, I'm actually now doing the things that I've always wanted to do, the things that
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I've always loved and always done. And there were times in my life that I was able to do it because of circumstances and. Now you can and, and now I can again. And it's really these things of like, it's not even discovering this new person, which I think that really was like, one of the things that I had this facade about, of like, in the beginning I was like, oh my God, I'm gonna be like a different person. I'm gonna be able to do all these things. And I was like, yeah, no, I'm just making space to be me.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. Fully embracing you. It's like, yeah. Wow. That's incredible. And then also like dancing and working out and all these things. Yeah. If you forgot about that.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:No, it's just, it's the small wins now. It's not a big deal.
Rebecca Sigala:Just
Najma Micha-el Aronow:who I am. It's been really amazing of like being able to go every week and I've been like switching between a bunch of different things. So like, I sometimes do stretching classes. I sometimes do like actual workouts of like calisthenics and things like that. I went last Tuesday to a dance hall class, and just like being able to get all these like different things. And also I went to a party by myself and it was really amazing of like, I feel like almost continuation of The New Sexy because it was an all women's party
Rebecca Sigala:and it was Right. Yeah. You posted in the group about that. It looked so cool.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:It was just this pure vibe of like The New Sexy coming into this like physical form of, ooh, I'm surrounded by other women who came here to dance and to laugh and to enjoy and to be happy together. And like I'm going there by myself. I don't know anyone.
Rebecca Sigala:that's huge.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I'm just like dancing and this girl next to me is like smiling at me. So I started like dancing with her and her friends and at some point I saw someone who was drumming. So I asked her if she has classes. So I'm like starting to talk to her at some point. I didn't end up meeting someone who I knew, but it was just like this experience of being in an environment that, you know, walking into is open and loving and having that space. Wow. That you can just be
Rebecca Sigala:just so beautiful.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah. And it's dancing, which I love.
Rebecca Sigala:It's so much fun. So much
Najma Micha-el Aronow:fun.
Rebecca Sigala:So what does your journey look like moving forward? I know that you decided to continue for The New Sexy becoming. Like my idea for it is. Taking all of these things that you've laid such a strong foundation for and already started transforming and embodying in your life and allowing that to just be a part of who you are and like also having that community to support you in it. How do you envision these next steps for you?
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I think because I had such a clear vision that ended up not being true about the new se, the OG New Sexy, um, I'm like hesitant to think, to put about what it's going to be and what I'm gonna get out of it. and I also, one of like the biggest conclusions that I got to at the end of The New Sexy, like with all of these things that I was processing was. I don't need to make this like insane, dramatic shift in order to be proud of myself, and I don't need to, every time that I achieve a goal, go to the next goal and do the next thing. Mm. And the next via, it's not that I finish this and that I'm done, and now I know how to integrate all these things with my life and I know how to listen to myself and I know how to help myself and I know how to eat and I know how to meal prep and I know how to work out. I'm like, no, hold on. It's been a few months. Like, this is a slow process. We can take a step by step. so I think a lot of like my process through the continuation is being able to keep that place and consistency of what I've been doing.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Without going back into my old habits of, okay, if I did this one, then I'm gonna start doing more because I can. Mm
Rebecca Sigala:hmm. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah. And just in, in a way I kind of like that you're like, well, I don't really wanna, you know, put a goal on it or have an expectation of it. Of course. I think it is important to have like a certain idea of like where we're headed and all of that. But I, I've stopped even using the word goal so much.'cause I agree with you. Like, and so many people that go through the new sex, that is what they take from it is like, wait, I don't have to like, fix myself. I don't have to like, do all of these things from a place of like, I'm wrong and now I need to be good or I need to be a different person. It's actually like, I need to be more of who I am and be able to just show up in the present moment and love myself through it all.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah. I mean, we'd also talked about like, a goal for me for the end of, uh, the continuation. She did
Rebecca Sigala:quotes
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Yeah. Air quotes. Yeah. of. I want to be in a place where I can be myself in social situations and outings and all these things. Mm-hmm. But even that, as much as it's a goal, it's a continuation of all these small things that I feel like I've been doing now
Rebecca Sigala:and up. Or like last week, you freaking just did that. Ah, little baby steps. You went to a dance party by yourself and danced with people you don't know. And like that, come on, Najma.
Najma Micha-el Aronow:It still feels like a baby step, but I will call it a win
Rebecca Sigala:See, there you go. There you go. That's, that's amazing. Wow. But like, it
Najma Micha-el Aronow:really is, like, the majority of it is being able to continue with these things. Continue being able to be consistent with both failing and winning and being okay with that and accepting myself for it. Mm-hmm. And on the way perfectly summed up, building up more of a place that I know that I feel good in and that I know that is good for me. Which is like part of the reason like carving out this time to be able to do arts and crafts and carving the time out to dance it. It seemed like this thing that was like such a big pressure and this huge daunting task. And now that I'm doing it, I'm like, the second I was able to do it, I love it. Like I, I, I know that I like this, I know that it does good for me. And just like being able to get to that point
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. To like know it on a deeper level and want to actually do it. Yeah. That is so beautiful. So let's say someone is like you and they're probably nodding along and they're like, yeah, I have like a similar kind of relationship where I feel disconnected from my body. I don't know if it's like specifically body image. What would you say to them about their journey and The New Sexy? Like would you recommend for them to do it and why?
Najma Micha-el Aronow:I mean, I would recommend it regardless of the place. I think it was also something that you said at the beginning of like sexy isn't specifically about your body and how you look outwardly. It's so much of an internal feeling of even if there's a moment of talking about some physical features that don't fit for you or this that is a subject that you're not specifically relating to. There is so much of the internal and different sides. Of our emotional perspectives and the way that we interact with the world and with ourselves, that affects how we feel sexy and how we feel confident in how we're able to portray our most truest selves to the world. And I think it really like it. It doesn't matter what your relationship with your body is and what your relationship with body positivity or the lack thereof is. It's a place of being able to work on yourself and getting to a place where you want to be.
Rebecca Sigala:That's really beautiful, really beautiful. I don't even know where to add and I, I mean just, there's so many, so many good things that you've shared. And thank you so much for being authentically you and sharing honestly, and it's been an honor and continues to be an honor to be on this journey with you. I am, I'm excited too. Like who knows what the hell's gonna happen next. Like let's just be open to like anything,
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Hey, I didn't know we'd get here, so who knows what we're gonna do to the next step?
Rebecca Sigala:Beautiful. But it is exactly,
Najma Micha-el Aronow:absolutely amazing always to talk to you and just how this space, which is so supportive and allows me to both feel comfortable and get pushed in the places that I need to, to the directions that I need to go
Rebecca Sigala:feel comfortable and get pushed. Yes. That
Najma Micha-el Aronow:just like it should be. Yeah. That's exactly how it should be.
Rebecca Sigala:Thank you so much, Najma. Thanks for coming on. Oh, of
Najma Micha-el Aronow:course. Thank you.
Rebecca Sigala:Bye
Najma Micha-el Aronow:Bye.