The Body Image Revolution

The Way You See Your Body Shapes Everything With Sarah Simpson

• Rebecca Sigala • Season 1 • Episode 68

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Join me as I sit down with body image & self-talk coach Sarah Simpson as we explore the journey from body shame to self-acceptance. Sarah shares her story of recovery, moving to Bali, and building a life rooted in self-compassion. We discuss the impact of diet culture, the power of community, and practical steps for healing your relationship with your body. Tune in for honest insights and inspiration to embrace yourself fully.

Connect with Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahinyellow

The Self-Care Revival starts today, September 15th. Click here to sign up for this round before we begin: https://www.rebeccasigalacoaching.com/the-self-care-revival

I would love to hear from you on Instagram!
https://www.instagram.com/rebeccasigalastudio

Rebecca:

Oh my God, you guys, I'm so excited for our guest today. Welcome back to the Body Image Revolution. Today we have Sarah Simpson. She is a body image coach who actually lives in Bali, which is so cool, and I just feel very aligned with her, and it's been really fun having so many empowered women and experts in the space of body image because I feel like for so long I just didn't connect with a lot of coaches and therapists and influencers in this space, and now so many incredible women are popping up and believe me, that does not mean we agree on everything we really get into it. I would not want this to be boring for you. We talk about everything from her body story, how she deals with body comments, both on social media And in person, the dieting industry and how it's messed us all up and body neutrality versus body love, which is one that I love bringing up with other people in this space because it's just something that I'm really curious about, like. What people think about that. And it's a little bit controversial. And we also just shoot the shit about being body image coaches, and just everything to do with confidence and self-love and healing. And we could have really gone on forever, but we kept it pretty concise for you. So I hope you enjoy, but before we dive in. I want to tell you that It is not too late to join the self-care revival. The energy is amazing already. We have a telegram group where I'm dropping audios every single day, and then there's another group for the sisterhood part of it. The women are already connecting with each other, and they have their cute journals and their water bottles ready, and we're already starting to create this rhythm, And the self-care mindset that is gonna help them really do self-care from a place of love and joy and pleasure, not guilt or punishment. And I really don't see this as just a challenge. It's truly a revolution. And I would love for you to join us. There's more than 80 women inside, and we're gonna be embarking on this journey tonight. So pause this episode right now. Go to the link in the show notes and sign up, and I will see you inside. We are going to have such an incredible journey together. And did I mention it's free? Like this is a completely free challenge and it's something that is very new. I wanted to give this as a gift for the new year, but it's never gonna be free again. So get in and let's transform the way you see yourself, the way you see your self-care, and help you just feel alive, authentic, and energized as we begin this new season and this new era of you. And after you sign up, come back to this episode because it was so much fun and I think you're gonna love it as much as we did.

Sarah Simpson:

Hi.

Rebecca:

Hello, how are you?

Sarah Simpson:

I am good. how are you?

Rebecca:

Good. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast. I'm really excited. Okay. I have so many questions for you. I think we should just hop in I know that you've been a body image coach for you said over four years. Right?

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah.

Rebecca:

how did that coincide with moving to Bali? I feel like there has to be a story there.

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah. So I moved to Bali. January of 2023 and I had been coaching for about two years at that point, full time. so I was well into like the body image and body positivity space. I was well

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

eating disorder recovery. I had gone through like post recovery weight gain. And I actually think that through all of those experiences of just starting to find self-confidence again, um, I realized that there was a lot in my life that was out of alignment, one of them

Rebecca:

Yeah,

Sarah Simpson:

being. The relationship that I was in long term. And I dated someone for about four years and they were a

Rebecca:

wow.

Sarah Simpson:

just not my person. And

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

story short, I had always known I wanted to live a life that was very centered around travel. And they didn't, and I had grown so much, I had found so much confidence. I was like ready to get out into the world and like finally be myself and take up space. And

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

end that relationship in order to do that. And I had a friend in Bali who had pretty much had the same experience. We met, on a self-love retreat and she had also gone through eating disorder recovery and left a relationship and gone

Rebecca:

What?

Sarah Simpson:

was in B

Rebecca:

That's crazy.

Sarah Simpson:

And was in crazy, crazy. was in Bali at the time and really inspired me. And I was like, okay, great. I know somebody on the other side of the world who can kind of help me get my footing. And I

Rebecca:

Um.

Sarah Simpson:

just start there. but I ended up not leaving. So I came to Bali, came here, just ready to jump back into life and like, I guess live the life that I had been hiding from for so long. Like I had known

Rebecca:

Oh yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

yeah, I known I wanted to take up space in the world, travel, meet new people, meet people from all over the world since I Was probably 12 or 13. I remember that was like my first visions of like, Ooh, I wanna go to Europe. I wanna be a foreign exchange student.

Rebecca:

Was that different than your peers and like your family's attitude towards, I don't know, just how they live life and what was expected out of you? Do you feel like that was kind of like against the grain?

Sarah Simpson:

I think. Yes and no. Like it's pretty common if you go to like college or university in the states

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

do a semester abroad. So I did a semester abroad in Italy, but that's just kind of like, um, like you just go study somewhere else for a couple

Rebecca:

Yeah, but then you come back to like normal life,

Sarah Simpson:

yeah. And

Rebecca:

quote unquote.

Sarah Simpson:

culturally immersive. so doing what I'm doing, which is like actually living outside of the country and traveling so much is Yeah. Wanting to do that. Not

Rebecca:

Mm-hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

I don't think. A lot of, lot of Americans

Rebecca:

Yeah. It's so true. I mean, I think the reason why I asked that question right away is because I know on my own body image journey and for so many of my clients, when you start to heal your relationship with your body and step into that confidence, it's almost like the doors of possibility of life open to you and you start to really feel more in alignment with. Yourself and your authenticity and do the things that you perhaps have been wanting to do since you were 12. And to me, it just makes a lot of sense that it would coincide with stepping into your power in terms of your body and your confidence, and then moving across the world because that's just so in alignment with who you are.

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah, absolutely. I, I think in the course of probably a year, I went full-time in my coaching business, broke up with that boyfriend, moved across the world, and before all of those went all into eating disorder recovery. So I

Rebecca:

Wow.

Sarah Simpson:

All of that pretty quickly. All, um, kind of triggered by oh, and graduated college at the start of all

Rebecca:

Um.

Sarah Simpson:

into a pandemic, I think all kind of triggered by COVID forcing us all to stay home and kind of forcing me to look in the mirror at my life as well. Um, finishing

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

COVID starting at the same time was kind of like making me look at the next chapter. But yeah, it did kind of bring out like that part of my personality and made me really think about what I wanted my life to look like. You're completely right.

Rebecca:

That's so beautiful. What is your eating disorder experience and recovery like? Is that a story that you often share?

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah. I think it's a story that I get asked about a lot, but not a story I think about so much because the beautiful part of it is that it's not really part of my life anymore. And that's, I guess,

Rebecca:

Wow.

Sarah Simpson:

the. goal, right? Like I have a very quote unquote normal relationship with food. Like I couldn't tell you what I ate yesterday unless I thought really hard about it. Like I love to feed myself nutrient-dense foods. I also love to eat chocolate and cake and ice cream. Like I a really loving, safe relationship with food now, but my eating disorder,

Rebecca:

one of the misconceptions about eating disorders in general. I mean, I know I actually had one of my clients on the podcast, I think it was last year, and we spoke about that because when she first came to me, she had been told. By so many professionals that yeah, you can get over your eating disorder, but not fully. It's always gonna be in the background of your life. And that's one train of thought. And through our work together, and not just her other clients and just my experiences as well, it seems that it's very clear that that does not have to be a part of your life. But for some reason there's this misconception that it does. Do you, do you see that in the eating disorder and recovery world?

Sarah Simpson:

yeah. definitely. I definitely see that, and I see that in the mental health space in general. Like I used to have a debilitating anxiety disorder and I just don't identify with that at all

Rebecca:

Wow,

Sarah Simpson:

Like I, I used to, I, the example I always give is like, used to need to go to the grocery store and it was like literally down the road, it was like half a mile. So it was like a three minute drive I wouldn't be able to drive myself there.'cause I had to take a left turn, which was like into traffic and I couldn't do it. So I would like, need to wait for my partner at the time to come home from work so he could take us to the store. Like I was so anxious behind the wheel that I like, couldn't take myself places. And

Rebecca:

I get it.

Sarah Simpson:

Bali where I drive a motorcycle everywhere and I'm like

Rebecca:

Oh.

Sarah Simpson:

through traffic, like I look like a badass and I. and I'm fine and it's easy, but, and it took, obviously there's so much

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

and work that went into that, but like just don't identify as someone with anxiety

Rebecca:

Right,

Sarah Simpson:

And I used to think that that would never be the case. And I do think that label of like, I am someone with anxiety, I'm someone with anxiety disorder, and same with the eating disorder labels that used to be at one point in the journey was really helpful to help me identify and attach to that so that I

Rebecca:

Mm-hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

myself. But after a while, like labeling myself that way wasn't helpful anymore and I needed to release it and move

Rebecca:

Yeah. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I like that you mentioned that it's, it's possible to not identify with it any longer, but that doesn't mean that it's. Just a magic pill that you take and all of a sudden you wake up one day and everything is healed. It's like very nuanced. And I can totally see what you're saying in terms of like, yeah, those labels kind of holding you back. And I think specifically with body image, there's just a mindset in popular culture that we're not really supposed to love our bodies. So I think we have all the diet, culture and all the normative thinking kind of going against us, especially in that realm.

Sarah Simpson:

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. And I mean, I have countless clients that come to me for that exact reason, and I used to be the same way. Like I used to believe that the body image healing journey was like, oh, I'll just like hate myself less. And that definitely is it for a

Rebecca:

Yeah,

Sarah Simpson:

But I, Truly at a point as well with that where it's like I actually just like really don't care and like most of my time, genuinely like what I look like as well. Like the concept of

Rebecca:

I,

Sarah Simpson:

like genuinely enjoying your appearance is I think something that we're taught to, to not see. I'm sure you see that in clients, like when you show

Rebecca:

yeah,

Sarah Simpson:

they're probably like, oh my gosh, like I had no idea.

Rebecca:

totally. Totally. I feel like, yeah, there's this idea in diet culture that of course, like we're not supposed to fully love our body because there's so many industries and people and ideologies that profit off of our insecurities. But then even in the body positivity and healing spaces, there's still this idea that we're not supposed to fully love our bodies or focus on our appearance. that neutrality is kind of like this better option. I'm curious like how you feel about that, because it sounds like neutrality for you has been part of the process. You're like, I don't even care anymore. And then you're like, but actually I do really enjoy my appearance as well, and. I'm curious what your approach is with that for yourself, for your clients. What do you think about

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah.

Rebecca:

body neutrality?

Sarah Simpson:

Well, I feel like, to put it this way, like when I start working with a new client, come in and so many of their thoughts are about their body. Like they come in and they're like, I constantly think about what other people are thinking about me, what I look like, what I'm wearing, if I'm sucking in or not.

Rebecca:

Yeah,

Sarah Simpson:

their mind feels so chaotic

Rebecca:

I,

Sarah Simpson:

with the body. Thoughts. And

Rebecca:

yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

this conversation on like a, a first session with a new client that I started with about six weeks ago. And she came in like, ready to figure this stuff out. And I was like, amazing. Good energy. But she asked me, she was like, I have all these thoughts, all these goals, all these things I wanna let go of. Should I focus on like loving my body and showing my body love and being obsessed with my body? should I focus on not thinking about my body as much and like not caring about my body? And see that that question was quite confusing for her. And it's very similar to the question that you just asked. And I told her, like, honestly, I think the answer is, is both depending on the situation, like. I think neutrality is the answer most of the time. Like

Rebecca:

Hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

the sense that instead of being hyper-focused all the time on what your belly looks like, what your body looks like, what people are thinking about this one part of you, which is your appearance. I really like to teach clients how to zoom out. Like I, and I use that vocabulary of like, how do we zoom out on the situation? Like who else is in the room? What else is going on? Or zoom out to what else you are, who else you are, you

Rebecca:

Mm-hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

what else your story is, what else makes up who you are? You know, you're funny, you're smart, you're sassy, you are in a good mood, you're in a bad mood, whatever it is. And reminding them that

Rebecca:

Mm-hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

just what their appearance is. And that's more of the neutrality, right? So the neutrality is

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

yeah, I might not love I look like in my bikini as I go to the beach today. but I'm also going to the beach to spend time with friends and

Rebecca:

Mm-hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

enjoy the summer weather and to make a memory and enjoy the ocean, salty water on my skin and making being in a bathing suit, just one thing on the list of a hundred things that you're gonna experience that day and zooming

Rebecca:

Right.

Sarah Simpson:

that way. the neutrality, the positivity, I think is too much when it becomes the only focus because it's a lot of pressure to feel like you need to love what your body looks like all the time. But I think that's really common when a lot of the clients I get are often perfectionists and they feel like it's very, if they identify as all or nothing, thinkers a lot too.

Rebecca:

Yeah,

Sarah Simpson:

like, I hate

Rebecca:

I, I blame diet culture for perfectionism too. Like that is so intertwined with our body image.

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah, it's the all or nothing thinking, right? It's good and

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

but like with our body. but yeah. And so feeling like you need to love what you look like all the time, not realistic. There's sometimes that I look in the mirror, like right now like this, like this close to getting my period. So like I look in the mirror and I'm like, okay, like my face is a little puffier than normal. I'm definitely a little bit more self-critical. I'm literally holding more water weight, so my body does look different. And because of all of the conditioning and also the change in my hormones, my body image is lower at this point in my cycle. And so I'll look in the mirror and I'll be like, not my favorite. The self-talk is way, way, way, way less negative than it used to be. But if I'm

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

those vibes of like not my favorite, I'll be like, okay, so I'm not gonna be obsessed with myself today. Again, zoom out, redirect, let's focus on all the other good stuff. But the days

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

and I'm like, nice, love it. I'm gonna spend extra time there to really soak that in, because there's so

Rebecca:

Mm-hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

hating what

Rebecca:

Right. I think that's so important too, because. There is just this train of thinking that liking how you look is vain or there's something wrong with that as well. And it's like you can never win. You know, you're supposed to not love your body. Then when you love your body, then you're vain and you're, you know, self-focused. And, I am of the opinion. I, I think that neutrality can be like a really incredible tool. Um, but perhaps because my coaching work actually began doing boudoir photography and my whole focus was helping women feel beautiful and comfortable and confident in their skin. I think that, my journey was just a little bit different where I didn't start with neutrality. I was actually like, how do I help people feel beautiful? You know?

Sarah Simpson:

Mm-hmm.

Rebecca:

And, neutrality definitely was one of those tools and it can be a really great step, but. I also want people to know that it's possible that they can really appreciate the way that they look, and that's really important too.

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah. What do you think the main thing that blocks them from letting themselves feel that way?'cause I have some ideas, but

Rebecca:

Hmm. To feel beautiful

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah.

Rebecca:

So I mean, it's such a combination of things, but I think it's really what we're talking about where it's one hand, we've been really programmed and conditioned to not love our bodies and the way that we look and then. We grow up and people are like, ah, just love yourself. Be confident, be body positive. Like why do you care so much about that? Like it's what's on the inside that matters. And so I feel like we're being almost gaslit in a way. You know, it's like there's this two edges of this sword and so I think women are really constantly unknowingly battling with this programming that we've been conditioned to not love our bodies. And then like having shame about that. Having shame about not being confident and then trying to be confident, trying to fake it till they make it and feeling cute sometimes, but then also not wanting to like put too much emphasis on that because then they think their vein are conceded or caring about appearance more than other things. So. I think it's a, it's a combination of a lot of things, but it comes down to shame

Sarah Simpson:

That's what I was gonna say.

Rebecca:

really.

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah. Shame. Shame.

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

Yep.

Rebecca:

A hundred percent. so I really love that approach where that's literally like the first step in my approach is to meet yourself where you're at. And it's not the first step. It's something that we have to do every single day is really meet ourselves where we're at. And I love that you're like, okay, I'm looking in the mirror right now and this is not my best body image day. I'm not feeling myself like a hundred percent, but like also that's okay. And that's part of the process. It's not just okay in a resignation way, it's just life ebbs and flows and. You can be honest with yourself, and it doesn't have to define your worth. I think that's the biggest thing, right?

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah. I think in my experience with the body image healing journey, I went from like wellness, fitness, girly on a constant pursuit of weight loss to hitting the goal weight, realizing it didn't make me happy having an eating disorder, going through all that.

Rebecca:

Mm-hmm. Uh

Sarah Simpson:

then going through recovery and becoming like the self-love girl and still through that, carrying all of the perfectionist. Diet culture mindsets, and I'm still today learning to be self-compassionate and how to unlearn the mindset of like, if you don't feel perfectly a hundred percent good all the time, then you must be doing something wrong.

Rebecca:

mm-hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

even catch myself in that mindset this week of like, oh, I'm a little bit anxious again. I don't really get anxious anymore. So if I do, it's like, oh, there must be something wrong, right? I must find mistake I'm making and fix it. And that still comes up even in the self-love journey. I think that that's a misconception too, of like, you don't just leave that behind when you break the, detrimental habits of dieting, of diet culture, of eating disorders, like it just kind of takes on a new form. And so learning the self-compassion along the way is also really important. I think.

Rebecca:

Yeah, I really, I really relate to that. I remember one time my therapist was like, can we take like all your body image work and like apply it to every other part of your life because you know, if you grow up with those mentalities. I've also struggled with depression and anxiety. and ADHD and a bunch of different things. I mean, we're all human and we all have our stuff. And I think that it's almost like body image is one way that we can be mean to ourselves, but it's not the only way that we can be mean to ourselves. And there's all these different other aspects of our lives where we could be perfectionists, we could have negative self-talk, we could be anxious, we could have all these things that relate to body image and also don't. And I think it's an ever evolving journey. So while on one hand I feel like I just. Have a completely different paradigm and reality when it comes to bodies and myself. And of course it's still a relationship. Like I think what you were saying before, really just reminded me like, yeah, you don't just push a button one day and all of a sudden everything's perfect. It's really a relationship with your body and a relationship with yourself. Just like if you're gonna have a relationship with somebody else, that doesn't mean that there'll never be a conflict with somebody else. Of course there's gonna be a conflict, of course, there's gonna be things that you have to work through. But I think, and I don't know if you would agree with me, but so much of the work that we do, our body image work for ourselves and for our clients is creating a different baseline. Of seeing things really different.

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah. Yeah. I, I have to explain to people a lot that like, again, it's not gonna be an overnight switch and it is changing. Everyone loves that like, buzzword of self-talk, but it is changing a lot of the self-talk and yeah, changing that baseline is a good way to put it. Changing the dialogue inside and shifting from the self scrutiny to, with most clients, honestly in the beginning is me pointing out to them like how much they're already doing quite well at. That's often something that comes up a lot.

Rebecca:

Mm-hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

again, this self-talk is so negative, the self-esteem can be so low that they need to see that

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

capable.

Rebecca:

Mm-hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

that's really, I think where we start building the baseline of like, look what you're already doing. And

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

building more and more on that. I had a client come to me she was in therapy. She had been too outpatient for her eating disorder and I don't treat eating disorders. I'm not qualified to treat eating disorders. I don't advertise, treat eating disorders,

Rebecca:

Right.

Sarah Simpson:

but I have a lot of clients who have experience with eating disorders the same way that I

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

And

Rebecca:

with women

Sarah Simpson:

to

Rebecca:

and a lot of people have had them.

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah, exactly. she'd been to outpatient and she was done with formal recovery in therapy, still navigating a lot of eating disorder related stuff. and just felt like therapy wasn't quite cutting it for her. And so she signed up with me and she said to me, she was like, I just feel like I haven't made progress in the last year. Like, I asked her like, are you at least any better than where you were a year ago? And she was like, Nope. I was like, okay, let's figure

Rebecca:

Let's get into it. Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

building, building that baseline was like, okay, we have to find the teeniest tiniest ways that you're showing up for yourself. To start building back your self-esteem. And I think what a lot of people don't realize with body image is the physical body is also just a representation of like so much that's inside. And

Rebecca:

Mm-hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

you can actually really strengthen your body image by doing things for yourself that have nothing to do with your body. And so she was

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

like, I don't know, like things for her mind for example, or things for her schoolwork or her financial wellness, like paying bills, getting homework assignments done, journaling, taking a shower. Things for her hygiene.

Rebecca:

Showing up for herself.

Sarah Simpson:

Yes. Not necessarily in ways that were like, showing her physical body love and attention, but her physical body image got better because she is her body in a way and she was

Rebecca:

Yeah. I literally was thinking those words

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah.

Rebecca:

people say, oh, you're not your body. You are your body. You live in your body. It's your home. Like it's part of you. You know? And so it's so connected to everything that you do for yourself. It's connected to every relationship. It's connected to every breath we take on this earth. Like

Sarah Simpson:

Mm-hmm.

Rebecca:

can't, you can't pretend that it doesn't exist.

Sarah Simpson:

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Something that I'm trying to remember more also,'cause I think that I separate my brain and my body a lot and it

Rebecca:

Mm-hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

fighting each other a lot, is that my brain is part of my body. Like

Rebecca:

Mm-hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

is an organ. My brain is a body part. That's one that I'm trying to let soak

Rebecca:

so crazy that you just said that.

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah.

Rebecca:

I had a healing experience recently, and that was one of my epiphanies that I was like laying there and was talking to someone who was like guiding me through this really beautiful experience. And, I said, you know, I teach people body positivity, which we can go into that phrase if, if you're interested in that. I don't know how I feel about that, but, but yeah, in a way, body positivity, right? But I'm like, but what about brain positivity? I'm like, because I think that's, that is where my next level of work was. Like after I changed the way that I saw beauty and bodies And really started to see all different bodies and quote unquote imperfections as so beautiful. And I've really like changed that. Like that's in the past. But then there's this part of my body, which is my brain and me feeling like I am battling against it, where that's what I help my clients. They feel like they're battling against their body. Am I battling against my brain? Like and having a sense of, it's not just my body, it's not just my brain, it's not just my soul. Like it's all of it. Like we are an entity of, of our brain and our body and our soul. And in order to have that kind of self-love that I think so many of us are looking for that radical acceptance, we have to see ourselves as that and not all these different. Parts, I think.

Sarah Simpson:

Mm-hmm.

Rebecca:

feel about that?

Sarah Simpson:

I think I agree with you in theory and like on my most, Open-minded days. Not open-minded, I can't think of the right word. Like spiritual, I guess. Like

Rebecca:

Mm-hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

spiritual days, I'm like, yes, I'm drinking the Kool-Aid. I agree with

Rebecca:

Yes. Everything's one.

Sarah Simpson:

yeah, exactly. Exactly. But like then there's like the hyper logical or overthinking side of me that's like, okay, but how do I do that? So how do, how do you do that?

Rebecca:

Are I think it's just about not abandoning any part of yourself and being like, oh no, I, you know, I shouldn't be thinking this way, or I shouldn't be doing this thing. Or, you know, like, I'm not a body, I'm a soul. I'm not a, this, I'm just, just kind of approaching yourself, which I think you're probably already doing. It sounds like you're doing with that love and compassion and like, in the moment of just like, it's okay.

Sarah Simpson:

Mm-hmm.

Rebecca:

Like I can be honest with myself about exactly where I'm at and it's, and I'm okay and there's nothing that I need to, cut off, if that makes sense. Like there's nothing that I need to abandon about who I am or what I look like or. What I'm thinking. It's all okay.

Sarah Simpson:

Mm-hmm.

Rebecca:

There's like a sense of compassion.

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah. Yeah. Like complete acceptance of all of the pieces.

Rebecca:

Yeah, exactly. It's, it's, um, yeah, you're right. It's a nice theory.

Sarah Simpson:

Mm-hmm.

Rebecca:

It's nice in concept, but then, you know, it's a practice that you have to, that you have to practice on the daily and in the moments and when things are hard and yeah, I totally get what you're saying.

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah,

Rebecca:

wanted to talk about one thing that you talk a lot about in your content and that is your belly. And I just so love the way you talk about your belly and the pictures you share with so much just fun and love and acceptance. And I really personally connect because. My stomach was something that from probably age eight, I was insecure about. And it was one of the things that I've transformed the way that I see and relate to. And even to this day, I'm still shocked how much I've changed that perspective because I'm just like, I remember how much I tried to hide it and I hated it. And I see it so differently now. And so I love how much you give your belly love, and I'm curious what the story is behind that and how you came to that place with yourself.

Sarah Simpson:

oh, where do I even start?

Rebecca:

I know

Sarah Simpson:

Um,

Rebecca:

this stuff goes so deep. You can't talk about body image without talking about everything.

Sarah Simpson:

yeah, I know, I know. Well, let me say this. I, over the last probably, I would say like five or six years at least, been. different sizes at many different times. Like I've simply grown up, but I've also gone through my eating disorders and then

Rebecca:

Mm-hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

through eating disorder recovery.

Rebecca:

Mm-hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

moved countries. I have come back to the US after leaving the us Like I've changed countries many, many times. I've gone through grief, I've gone through my best times, I've gone through periods of extreme intensity in my exercise practice. I've gone through periods of chronic illness and not moving my body at all. My body has changed so many times for so many reasons. and for all of those reasons, good and bad, know, good and challenging, I like to say. because even the hardest things like grief or chronic illness, like. I actually wouldn't give those experiences back, but that's a whole other conversation they've taught me so much.

Rebecca:

Yeah, of course.

Sarah Simpson:

I've never had a flat stomach. I've never had a flat stomach.

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

also even in the hardest moments, I've not necessarily gained weight even in the best moments. I've not necessarily lost weight, but that's also another story through all of my sizes, even at my fittest and I'm talking like can do a fricking pull up. Like I am strong, I am fit. not necessarily my smallest size, but definitely my fittest. I've never had a flat stomach and through my sickest days and through my best days, just realizing like I've always had a belly

Rebecca:

Hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

going through of my body image healing, learning about the literal scam that is diet culture, like the

Rebecca:

Oh

Sarah Simpson:

the programming that we are sold from

Rebecca:

yes.

Sarah Simpson:

age to make us think that we are the problem. It just made me realize. Like this is a scam. It sounds dramatic, but it is dramatic, like it is severe. I don't know how else to put it. Like have all been sold this lie that we

Rebecca:

I just saw

Sarah Simpson:

flat

Rebecca:

a comment on, on Facebook like yesterday that someone was like, body positivity is the biggest scam. And it just made me laugh. I was like, oh my God. Like the times that we're in right now are so intense and confusing and pretty fucked up in a lot of ways. Like the fact that, like the thing that. We've been scammed into this idea that our bodies need to be a certain way and fitness and wellness culture, and all of these things that have totally brainwashed us and shamed us and literally almost killed us, right? Like physically almost killed us, and now there's something else that's available and there's such a fricking pushback on it. And it's just so interesting. It's just so interesting. It's like so ironic, like the thing that shames us. Okay. Like for example, I, I mentioned something about how we just have so much pressure around, you know, plastic surgery and Botox and never aging. And that society's kind of just throwing all these things out at us and kind of rebranding Botox, for instance, as self-love. And somebody called me a Botox shamer and I was like, that is ironic. Like exactly what I'm saying. Like we have been shamed for just existing in our bodies, aging as humans do. And then anything that's a little bit against that, then all of a sudden we're shaming people. Like it just drives me crazy.

Sarah Simpson:

Mm-hmm. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I understand. I mean, you should see my comment sections. I don't even read them anymore. they're

Rebecca:

Really? You don't read them anymore? Oh my God.

Sarah Simpson:

I'm, I'm really good at like, like with my eyes just filtering them out. I actually, I'm really good at laughing at them'cause some of them are just genuinely funny. I screenshotted ones yesterday. Actually. I had two next to each other. I'll read them to you it's actually reading my comments

Rebecca:

please. I love this.

Sarah Simpson:

reading them in bulk, like. From an almost like, I mean, they're my comments, but I'm almost reading them from an outside perspective because I'm seeing them all stacked. Like I'm not reading them as someone viewing my content. These are two that I screenshotted next to each other. person wrote skinny is not healthy. So there's a belief that thinness is bad. And then

Rebecca:

Yeah. Which is also,

Sarah Simpson:

is, that's just complex in itself. fat phobia doesn't exist, is the one on top of it. And it's just like,

Rebecca:

oh.

Sarah Simpson:

you can't win. You can't win. And I just thought that was so interesting. Those right next to each other from two completely different people, but like, Yeah.

Rebecca:

Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Fat phobia doesn't exist. Wow.

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah.

Rebecca:

That is, yeah. It's so, it's so, it's intense. The, the backlash to literally just trying to help people love and accept their bodies. on the daily, I'm like, why is this so revolutionary? Like my podcast is called The Body Image Revolution. I'm like,

Sarah Simpson:

Mm,

Rebecca:

should just be the norm, but it's not.

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah. Well, and that pulls us back to the conversation about the belly. Like what

Rebecca:

Yeah. Yeah. Let's go back. I

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah, no,

Rebecca:

hear more.

Sarah Simpson:

it is actually, no, but it's actually so relevant. Like the thing that I realized that gave me a huge leap in the amount that I accept it, is that it's actually so normal. And I don't even mean like how it looks, I mean, how it fluctuates like

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

the stomach, and I'm, I'm like a, I need to understand the science behind something in order to understand it, like

Rebecca:

Oh wow. Interesting.

Sarah Simpson:

By nature, like, I just, like, you need to explain it to me or I won't get it.

Rebecca:

Yeah,

Sarah Simpson:

I realized that like stomach, especially on a, female fluctuates because depends where we're at in our hormonal cycle. So like, depending on, don't ask me the, the anatomy of our cervix and all of that, but it fluctuates depending on our

Rebecca:

I will not, don't worry.

Sarah Simpson:

It our, our uterus, whatever's happening, things change. and then also just like with digestion, like obviously your stomach fills and then your, your whole belly is like your intestinal tract, like your digestive tract. So understanding that for those two major reasons, and then also like hormones and emotions and going through grief and going through life and going through so many other things like. The belly fluctuating is essential to processing those essential life processes

Rebecca:

Hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

just made it make sense for me. And then I realized like, so food and the female hormonal cycle, two things that we can't escape really.

Rebecca:

Right,

Sarah Simpson:

diet culture has made us hate something is inescapable. Like, like make us

Rebecca:

right.

Sarah Simpson:

no matter what we do, we're not gonna be able to stop the fact that it fluctuates. So make us

Rebecca:

Right.

Sarah Simpson:

that it fluctuates. It's like it's again, the biggest scam. Like

Rebecca:

We

Sarah Simpson:

tricked us

Rebecca:

can profit off of every, every day of our lives that we hate it.

Sarah Simpson:

Exactly, exactly. You can profit off me morning, lunchtime, and night because I'm gonna constantly be thinking about how it's changing before and after I eat, before and after I poop, before and after. I drink water, before and after. I have my period before and after I have sex,

Rebecca:

Oh my God, it's so fucked. It's so fucked.

Sarah Simpson:

Mm-hmm. And then I just realized

Rebecca:

What'd you?

Sarah Simpson:

fucked. And I was like, I'm just gonna live my life anyway. And I just kept reminding myself of

Rebecca:

Um.

Sarah Simpson:

time I ate and every time I had my period and every time I had sex, and every time I traveled and every time I wore a bathing suit and it got easier and easier and.

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

of me having good memories where I happened to have a stomach and it got easier and easier. And the more I talk about it, the easier it gets and the more I talk about it in community also, um, like with other women, especially in the groups that I

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

that makes it so much easier

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

the content I share, a

Rebecca:

easier.

Sarah Simpson:

content is about how I've been asked if I'm pregnant multiple times, three times in the last two years, and how it

Rebecca:

Wow.

Sarah Simpson:

me anymore because

Rebecca:

What do you say? Because I think that's what, that's a question that a lot of women have. I have like a whole, I have a whole workshop on body comments and I'm curious, at this point, when you are at the point where you truly don't care, it's not just, oh, I don't give a fuck, and you're actually really angry inside. What is your response?

Sarah Simpson:

No. Like,

Rebecca:

That's it.

Sarah Simpson:

it. Like that's literally no. Like, not, not an angry, no. And I'm not saying you can't get angry, but like, the same way that if someone was like, do you want a bag at the grocery store? Like, no, just,

Rebecca:

It's so neutral for you.

Sarah Simpson:

I just don't like, and, I've told the story times of the three times it happened. The first time it happened, I was really, really hurt and I didn't like the way I responded. Second time it bothered me. Third time I didn't care. And if it happens again, I'm just gonna roll my eyes and be like, whatever. yeah, I mean at this

Rebecca:

Do you ever feel the need to like, I don't know, just as people who are coaches and educators, do you ever feel the need to add something to that like.

Sarah Simpson:

yeah.

Rebecca:

don't know.

Sarah Simpson:

Depends on what kind of mood I'm in, because like the first time it happened, my immediate thought, as soon as she asked, or she assumed actually,'cause she looked at me at a yoga class that she was the instructor and was like, and when is the baby due? Um, and I was like, I'm not pregnant. Um, and she had like a breakdown, which was really awkward.

Rebecca:

uh, yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

had to be the one to support her through it. Um,

Rebecca:

that happens so much.

Sarah Simpson:

yeah. and my first thought, it's 7:30 in the morning, I am barely awake. And my first thought is like, are you fucking kidding me? Like, I'm not at work right now. Like, I am not in the mood to teach someone this right now. and

Rebecca:

don't have to, it's not your responsibility.

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah. But she basically like. Wouldn't let it go. And I just wanted the moment to be over, not because I was embarrassed, but because I just wanted it to be done with.

Rebecca:

Mm-hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

said, some bodies look like this. And I just said that a couple times. She was like, I know, I know. And she hopefully never said that to somebody again. And it's not really my business either way'cause it's not my job to teach. But yeah, I do feel a desire for more people to understand this sometimes.

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

that's

Rebecca:

Other times

Sarah Simpson:

on

Rebecca:

not so much.

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah. I'll talk about it on Instagram. And the people that wanna listen will listen. Like I get a lot of dms and comments that are actually really sweet, that are like, I honestly didn't know that I shouldn't say this. Or I've definitely been that person and I didn't realize it like. I feel really bad, what should I do instead? And like, that's more important to me. You know? I think there's a

Rebecca:

Totally.

Sarah Simpson:

people can't change and like

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

they can, you know, and the,

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

people to feel like they can send me messages like that.

Rebecca:

Right. Yeah. I'm a very big supporter of educating, but not pushing and not thinking of it as our responsibility because just the truth is, is it's not really effective. Like if you just like walk around preaching body positivity and trying to help people understand that's not. It's not gonna work. ha the people have to come to it on their own. So I would probably, you know, respond in a similar way and I might say something like, I'm okay. But like, if you could said that to someone else, like it could be really harmful. And like, if you wanna know more about it, I'm happy to talk to you more. But I wouldn't just like start giving them all this information, you know, because I agree with you like, number one, not our responsibility. Number two, it's not gonna be effective unless someone really is ready to hear it.

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah, yeah, I think it's more than anything, it's checking in with yourself and asking like, do I have the energy to give to this conversation? Especially if it doesn't go the way that I would hope, because we often try to explain how we're feeling in hopes that someone else will understand us, so

Rebecca:

Yep.

Sarah Simpson:

feel heard, and like our feelings are valid, but our feelings are valid and we shouldn't have been asked a question like that, without someone else validating it, you know? And

Rebecca:

Right. That's a really good point.

Sarah Simpson:

have to explain. Yeah. A big thing I have to explain to clients is like, how important it is to have people that you feel like you don't have to defend your choices or your appearance or your body too. And again, this is why I run groups and why I gravitate towards groups, and just having community in general. I think the world just needs more community these days. But having people that you feel like you can be your unapologetic self with. Because I used to be that person who was always overexplaining myself and always begging people who didn't deserve my teaching, essentially my energy, my love, like begging them to understand me

Rebecca:

Yeah, you want, and because you wanted to be understood, I really relate to that,

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah. and like I don't need anyone to apologize for asking if I'm pregnant because I don't personally care if I look pregnant or not. That's why it's, it's just like the bag at the grocery store. I'm like, no, and I move on. Like, it just doesn't matter to me. They'll

Rebecca:

right?

Sarah Simpson:

think about it for the rest of their day and good for them, like, I hope they

Rebecca:

Because you, you no longer need their validation or understanding in order to feel good about yourself. That's the work that you've done.

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah.

Rebecca:

And it's, and it's also okay to be in the place where you kind of do feel like you need external validations. That's the people that we help, that's also us when we're ebbing and flowing in our lives, you know? So it's a very human thing to want and to even need some of that external validation. But when you need, when you need less of it, it's just really fucking freeing.

Sarah Simpson:

Oh yeah. I was just saying to a client, like a mantra that I repeat at least once a week, which is like, validation is not a dirty word. We are a social species. We are evolutionarily programmed to seek

Rebecca:

Yeah. Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

seek safety in groups. We are meant to make sure that we are safe in numbers. And so validation is not a dirty word. Validation's not a bad thing. However, I think that there's internal validation and external validation, and both are important. And then there's positive sources of validation. Like my best friends, I seek validation from every day. However, they're not my primary source of

Rebecca:

Mm-hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

That's myself. And then there's more detrimental sources of validation, like the emotionally unavailable men I used to date and they were

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

sources. So we've snip, snip, cut those ones out, and those are the ones that we're, we're breaking the patterns with. And so it's all

Rebecca:

Is that beautiful?

Sarah Simpson:

of the sample. Right.

Rebecca:

Yes. I love that. I love that. Have you ever done a boudoir shoot for yourself?

Sarah Simpson:

I literally did a boudoir shoot for myself, like I set up a camera and I did

Rebecca:

Like selfies? Oh, like that's amazing.

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah. I think during COVID I did one for Valentine's Day and I just like ordered a bunch of lingerie online. have I ever done one outside of that? Honestly living in Bali, a lot of my friends are photographers, so I've done lot

Rebecca:

You've been photograph.

Sarah Simpson:

shoots. I've been photographed. I have been photographed, yeah, I've done a lot of bikini shoots. I am actually nude modeling for an art studio in like two weeks. So

Rebecca:

Ooh,

Sarah Simpson:

not photography, but I'm gonna be like hand drawn. So that's a first.

Rebecca:

wow. That

Sarah Simpson:

something that I'm

Rebecca:

is a really cool, like personal experience. I feel like I wanna try that. That's so cool.

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah, A friend of mine, like a friend of a friend drew me when I was in like a one piece bathing suit maybe a year and a half ago.'cause he was an artist and he was like, Hey, I need to practice sketching. Can I just draw you for like 15 minutes? And I was stretching, and I was like, yeah, sure, I'm gonna stretch. Anyway. So he just did some sketches of me and I looked at the drawings after and I was like, this is like, he drew me exactly how I look, which is

Rebecca:

Hmm. How you perceive, how you look? Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

and not how I perceive how I look either. And it

Rebecca:

Oh, not how you perceive, how you look,

Sarah Simpson:

It wasn't like how I see myself in my head sometimes on bad days. And it wasn't how I think I should look sometimes as well. Like it wasn't this teeny tiny beauty standard.

Rebecca:

you felt, you felt like it was truthful.

Sarah Simpson:

It was truthful. Exactly. and it felt like it's different than seeing yourself in a photo. So, yeah, I'm going to do that. And that is, I've been photographed so much that like, and I've done plenty of nude shoots. I've done nude shoots in public. I'm like, I am, take my top off.

Rebecca:

Love that.

Sarah Simpson:

I'm like, um,

Rebecca:

Love it.

Sarah Simpson:

but being drawn in an art class feels, I'm like, I know it'll be awesome, but I'm also super nervous. Like, that

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

like how I felt before my first ever photo shoot.

Rebecca:

I have an idea of why that might be, but why do you think that is?

Sarah Simpson:

I think part of it is just because it's a new unfamiliar experience. Like

Rebecca:

Mm-hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

so the studio sent me a text and it was like, okay, here's how it works. And it was like, They do, uh, like a list of poses and it's like, pose one 30 seconds, pose two 30 seconds, and they get longer and longer for the artists to warm up drawing.

Rebecca:

Mm-hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

And I was like, oh my God, I have no idea what that means. I don't know eight different poses that I'm gonna do and like, I'm gonna be naked. Like,

Rebecca:

Naked. Yeah, like that's

Sarah Simpson:

I'm gonna be naked naked. Like, I wanna make sure that I don't have like my legs spread for all these poses. Like, so

Rebecca:

like spread eagle.

Sarah Simpson:

literally like, like I'm like my luck'cause it's just gonna be mirrors. It's not like I can just like one side of myself. So

Rebecca:

Right?

Sarah Simpson:

just the un

Rebecca:

Wow.

Sarah Simpson:

I'm gonna have a great time, but it's

Rebecca:

I'm so excited. Will you tell me about this, like how it goes? I'm sure you'll, I'm sure you'll talk about it too.

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah, I will, of course. But yeah, I think the main thing is that it's just an unknown. Like I've never been to this studio before. I've never done it before. Once I do it once, and I'm like this with most things, once I do it once, it a second time would be super easy. Like it's

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

I do something or go somewhere new. just as a formerly anxious person, like new experiences like that

Rebecca:

Um,

Sarah Simpson:

in general. and I think,

Rebecca:

I love how your identity is no longer anxious, a formerly anxious person. Love that.

Sarah Simpson:

it, but it is, it is moments like that that'll bring it out.'cause it used to

Rebecca:

Yeah, of course.

Sarah Simpson:

literally. and then I think another part of it is just, of course, like, I mean, I'm a Leo, so like I don't

Rebecca:

Um,

Sarah Simpson:

but I will be the center of attention and that will feel vulnerable. Like again, I'll be naked you think I'm gonna be nervous though?

Rebecca:

Oh, okay. So I don't wanna project anything on you. So I'm, I don't, it's not about why, uh, so personally, because this is what I do, is, I mean, create safe spaces for women to be able to feel like they can be completely themselves and completely nude. Like that's. Part, a big part of my job, and it's been for the past 12 years. And part of what creates that safety is, first of all the fact that it's just me and my client in a safe, physical space. And we create a rapport beforehand so we have that connection and then they also know my mentality around bodies. even if they think, okay, most people judge, and this is my experience of how people perceive other people's bodies and, she's probably gonna judge. They might have that in their mind, but they also know that deep down, I'm not going to, because they know my philosophy and we have coaching sessions beforehand. And so there's just such a deep sense of safety with our connection and with who I am and the safe spaces that I create and the work that they do leading up to it. So. Going into a situation where it's not technically a safe space. Yeah. Like it's not gonna be broadcast on the news. And I'm sure the people coming there, they're a certain type of person who are artistic and they appreciate the human form. You don't know who they fucking are. You don't know what they're thinking or what their approach is. You don't have a connection with them. And in order to do something like that, you have to have a great sense of safety within yourself.

Sarah Simpson:

Mm-hmm.

Rebecca:

And I just think that is so beautiful and probably not the best for someone who hasn't done that work, but you have. So because you've already done that work and created such a deep sense of safety in yourself, it's just gonna be interesting to see what comes.

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah. Amazing.

Rebecca:

Do you relate to that?

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah, definitely, definitely. And this whole time I'm like, I need to start growing out my pubes.

Rebecca:

Yes.

Sarah Simpson:

Like I need something to cover me a little bit,

Rebecca:

To cover you,

Sarah Simpson:

but yeah. Yeah, just like a little bit of a barrier. Um, no, I do agree. I really do. Like it's, yeah, it's super vulnerable and like, I don't

Rebecca:

you don't like, yeah. I mean, I'm sure, I'm sure that they'll, you know, it doesn't even matter what they think. That's the point. It doesn't matter what they're thinking, but you don't know. And so you have to be in a place where it, it really doesn't matter. It's not gonna affect your sense of self. it's just, yeah, it's really fucking vulnerable.

Sarah Simpson:

yeah. Yeah,

Rebecca:

And I feel like it's one thing to do it when you're like in the space where you're seeing your body as a project. Like I was there for so many years where it's like, well, if I'm gonna do something like that, I'll just lose weight and I'll get a tan. I'll do this and I'll, you know, all these things. But when you're not in that space, then it's just highlighting. It's highlighting the growth, but it's also highlighting how differently we think than so much of the world.

Sarah Simpson:

yeah,

Rebecca:

Am I making it worse?

Sarah Simpson:

No, definitely not.

Rebecca:

Okay, good.

Sarah Simpson:

so, like, I'll do most things. I am, I have pretty big balls to use that

Rebecca:

Oh my gosh.

Sarah Simpson:

I'll.

Rebecca:

Well, I wish we were closer so I could photograph you. That would be so much fun. Maybe one day.

Sarah Simpson:

would love that. One day. One day. That would be awesome.

Rebecca:

could totally see us maybe even doing something together, you know, like, seems like we have some different approaches, but there's so many overlaps.

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah, absolutely. I would love that. I would love that. That would be awesome.

Rebecca:

So good. Um, ugh. I just, I feel like, you know, these are conversations that I could just have forever. That's what's going through my mind all day long. Um, so why do you think that body image. Is so important to you because it's one thing to go through this whole process on your own and obviously see the benefits and the change and the impact that it's made in your life, and then it's another thing to be like, I want this for everyone else as well. What drives you and why is it important?

Sarah Simpson:

I just feel like it, gave me what I always knew deep down I wanted,

Rebecca:

Mm-hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

was. not just the things that I have, like, not that I live in Bali and I run my own business and you know, my life looking a certain way, but It's more like I have, I think it's relationships, to be honest, like healing your relationship with your body means healing your relationship with your whole self and healing your relationship with yourself to me has meant healing my relationship with everyone else in my life too. Like I have friendships that I. Never dreamed I actually have, it would take too long to find it. But I have, I journal a lot. I have so many journals that I've like filled with writing and I was

Rebecca:

Beautiful.

Sarah Simpson:

the other day that I wrote the day before I left to come here, which was almost three years ago. And I wrote something like, I wanna look back on this trip, this time, and like have friendships that I didn't even know were possible.

Rebecca:

Um, mm.

Sarah Simpson:

like I have friendships that we take care of each other. Like, we have so much intimacy, we have so much depth. Like

Rebecca:

Beautiful.

Sarah Simpson:

literally cuddle like she's my

Rebecca:

Um.

Sarah Simpson:

Like I like, we feel so

Rebecca:

Aw.

Sarah Simpson:

We support each other. We're honest with each other. Like I have a girl gang. We go on trips together. Like I have what I used to want so badly in my life, and

Rebecca:

And you think this is very deeply related to healing your relationship with your body?

Sarah Simpson:

like 1 to 1 correlation. Like, because

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

don't love, I'm not saying that you can't be loved by others if you don't love yourself. I think that's bullshit. I'm

Rebecca:

That is both it.

Sarah Simpson:

love others if you, yeah. I'm not saying you can't love others good if you don't love yourself, but like it's really hard to receive quality love if you don't think that you

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

it. And if

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

Hate your body and you don't think your body deserves to be loved. That's just, I mean, it's just a projection of how you feel about the inside as well, right? Like, how can you

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

is shit and not, and

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

so happy go lucky about the internal, right. It's, it's,

Rebecca:

Mm-hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

deeply connected and then, yeah, and beyond friendship, I mean, my romantic relationships and then my family, like I just thought I

Rebecca:

Oh,

Sarah Simpson:

a family person and then I became so much happier even if the people haven't changed, like relationships are so much better because I can show up different because I love myself more and I am just a deeper, more healed person

Rebecca:

wow.

Sarah Simpson:

journey never ends. Like it's not really about my body anymore, but it is at the same time because that's where it started.

Rebecca:

Yeah. That is so. Profound. I'm so happy that you're sharing that that ripple effect of starting that journey of healing your relationship with your body is deeply profound and literally impacts everything When you are talking about, you know, the relationship with other women, I think there is that sisterhood wound that we all experience and it's deeply tied to our body image and diet culture. I mean, I just have memories when I was younger, you know, changing in the girls' locker room, and, feeling like people were whispering behind my back or someone looking me up and down, being bullied for my appearance. Very much related to. Other women and feeling like we're supposed to be pitted against each other. We're supposed to be in competition with each other. There's the ingroup and the outgroup, and there's so many wounds around that. So when you heal your relationship with your body, then that begins to heal as well. And especially like when we do that in community, like you said, you have all these beautiful groups. And same thing with me. I actually rarely do one-on-one coaching anymore because I feel that the group is where it's at when it comes to body image. Like we deeply need that. it is the answer to so many of the wounds and the shaming that we've experienced for so long. So I think that's just so beautiful. And then, yeah, like your self-talk and your boundaries and knowing yourself more and. Everything is just so deeply interconnected and that's so fucking beautiful. I'm so happy for you.

Sarah Simpson:

Thank you. Thank you so much. Yeah. it all comes back to, to the body image. Like I've never gotten sick of talking about it. Like I've ne

Rebecca:

Same,

Sarah Simpson:

I'm, yeah, I'm sure you

Rebecca:

I,

Sarah Simpson:

everyone's story is so different, but I think it comes back to really similar emotions as well. And like it comes back to like, we all just want to love and be loved. Right.

Rebecca:

mm-hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

fair enough. And I want that for other people as well.

Rebecca:

Yeah. One another thing that I was thinking when you were talking about that is a lot of the discomfort that we feel actually makes us very unintentionally self-centered.

Sarah Simpson:

Mm-hmm.

Rebecca:

it could be body image, it could be anxiety, depression, whatever it is, where we're experiencing significant amount of discomfort. We're very much in our own minds, in our own bodies, in our own world, and it creates such a lack of connection with other people. And when we step into the comfort in our bodies, our bodies become our home, our brains are not flooded with all of these thoughts and obsessions and nitpicking with ourselves, then we can actually be present in our lives and have much deeper connections with other people. So I think that's a big part of it as well.

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah, I definitely agree. Yeah, I absolutely agree.

Rebecca:

I feel like we're gonna have to have, we're gonna have to have a part two,

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah,

Rebecca:

but. But thank you so much for coming on. know you want like every woman to hear all of these things that you've shared. is there like a topic you've been thinking about more recently that you would wanna share a specific message with women or just what's been on your mind recently in this space and what would you want women to know?

Sarah Simpson:

I really do think that one of the biggest things that I've realized through all of this, I'll give two things. Two of the biggest things that have helped me community. So I'll say,

Rebecca:

Yeah,

Sarah Simpson:

alone. Then the antidote to loneliness is community.

Rebecca:

beautiful.

Sarah Simpson:

And that comes in a lot of forms that comes in, you know, group coaching programs like mine, like yours. It comes in like showing up in people's comment sections. It comes in forums that are happy places to be.

Rebecca:

Hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

it comes in finding, size inclusive yoga studios. Like, you know, it comes in a lot of different ways, but the antidote to loneliness is community. That's something that I've had to work very hard to create in my life. Growing up, someone who was not taught to value it, um, I had to learn how to

Rebecca:

Wow.

Sarah Simpson:

but it's so worth it. And then I think something else that I really hear a lot in our world today is overwhelm and feeling like stuck and

Rebecca:

I print out,

Sarah Simpson:

it. And burnout as well. And so I think that the antidote to overwhelm and anxiety as well, is action. But that

Rebecca:

Hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

feel overwhelming. And so breaking it up into as tiny of actions as you can imagine, like that's what I do with clients. Again, creating that baseline being the things you're already doing. And so what I recommend to most clients is like literally write down every day the five tiny things that you're already doing for yourself until it becomes easy to think of them and then start writing down tiny things that you can add into your life. But that's what I would recommend for someone who's feeling they don't even know where to start with this is seek

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

and make a teeny, tiny list every day of the things you're already doing. Good.

Rebecca:

Hmm hmm. Would you say that your group of friends have. The same perspective or similar perspective on like body positivity as you do? Or is that less important?

Sarah Simpson:

Mm.

Rebecca:

Just as much as we're talking about community?'cause I know that you know, for you and for me and for the people we bring in our world, it's like you enter a new world almost and then not everyone is in that place. So how do you navigate that?

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah. Um, I will say, and it might sound harsh, I don't really have any friends who have a negative relationship with food because it's very difficult for me, and I don't. Really need it in my life. Like I, I don't need to welcome it into my life. I kind of am like a send you love from afar, but not something I'm gonna invite in. Um, so my friends

Rebecca:

a boundary that you've created for yourself.

Sarah Simpson:

a boundary. It's a boundary for sure. it's something I, I, I mean, it's my work. So I notice very quickly I have a very strong radar of

Rebecca:

Yeah. Of course.

Sarah Simpson:

with food and their body and exercise. I can pick that up very

Rebecca:

Second.

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah. In a second. so yeah, my friends have pretty good, I would say, quote unquote normal, um, stable. Stable

Rebecca:

Mm-hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

we're all human. We all have fluctuations. Like I've got a friend

Rebecca:

Yeah, of course.

Sarah Simpson:

through a breakup. Her relationship with food has been challenged. Her relationship with exercise has been challenged,

Rebecca:

Right?

Sarah Simpson:

body image has been challenged as

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

of going through this breakup as well. And like. I'm loving and supporting her through it. I've also had to set boundaries lovingly

Rebecca:

Mm-hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

it's all about loving open communication and feeling safe with these people. But

Rebecca:

Mm-hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

have attracted and sought out people who I feel lift me up and I lift up a lot more. I used to have friends who kind of perpetuated each other's negative habits, whether that was

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

disorders, like I used to have friends who was a group chat of us, and our entire friendship was built on all wanting to lose weight. I used to

Rebecca:

Oh my God. Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

our core activity was like gossiping together, and I just don't engage in those activities anymore. So

Rebecca:

Yeah,

Sarah Simpson:

someone's hobbies, then we're probably just not aligned in friendships.

Rebecca:

Yeah. That makes a lot of sense and I think hopefully gives women the permission to, you know, create the boundaries that they need to create and not feel guilty about that. And you can always create boundaries kindly. That's my thing. You can always do it in a kind way. You don't have to be a bitch about it. But they are so important. They're important for loving yourself. They're important for loving other people. And I hope that women hear this and they're like, okay, yeah, I can do that too. And this is what I'm gonna get out of it. I'm gonna have deeper relationships with people and have the kind of life that I want.

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah. absolutely. I have a mantra that's, like I won't sacrifice myself for somebody else because I did that for so long, and it's actually not really kind to the other person. You know, they can feel that you're not happy or they can feel that you're hurting yourself in the

Rebecca:

Resentful.

Sarah Simpson:

resentful. Yeah. But Yeah you lose a lot of friendships when you heal, but you also, gain a lot in the

Rebecca:

Mm-hmm.

Sarah Simpson:

think it's, again, that fear that you won't find new ones, but, you will, you know, you just have

Rebecca:

Yeah.

Sarah Simpson:

faith.

Rebecca:

Have faith and actively make that an important part of your life, which is what you do, and it's really inspiring to see.

Sarah Simpson:

Yep. Circle

Rebecca:

you. So, yeah, exactly. I feel like so much of this conversation has been about community and sisterhood, and I love that so much. It's much about, so much of what we do. where can people find you? What are you up to these days in your work?

Sarah Simpson:

Yes, I geographically, am all over the world, so

Rebecca:

Amazing.

Sarah Simpson:

up with me on socials and see what I'm up to. I host retreats and workshops a couple times a year.

Rebecca:

Amazing.

Sarah Simpson:

on social media, I am sarahinyellow like IN and then the color yellow, Sarah with an h, on all platforms. And I do online coaching, one-on-one in groups. I'm enrolling for my group right now, for October, and I do that a couple times a year. I love that. That's my primary offering. if you're in Bali, I do a free women's circle approximately every other week that you can come join. I love hosting that

Rebecca:

so cool.

Sarah Simpson:

I share all of this on socials though, like I keep people updated on what I'm up to though. Instagram's my main spot. I am on TikTok, but Instagram's the main spot and my email's on there as well if you wanna get in contact. Um,

Rebecca:

Awesome.

Sarah Simpson:

I have going on is always in my links on there as well. So Instagram, Sarahinyellow is the best place to go.

Rebecca:

Incredible. Thank you. Thank you for your time, for your energy, your vulnerability, all of your stories, and I know that whoever's listening to this probably needed to hear it, and I'm really excited to share with the world.

Sarah Simpson:

Yeah. Thank you so much for having me. It was such a nice chat.

Rebecca:

You are welcome. Have a great day. Thank you.

Sarah Simpson:

too. Thank you.