The Body Image Revolution
Raw, unfiltered conversations about what it really takes to love your reflection, feel sexy in your skin, and build a legacy of radical self-love for yourself and future generations - without the toxic positivity or any of the BS.
Hosted by body confidence coach and boudoir photographer, Rebecca Sigala.
The Body Image Revolution
A One-Way Ticket to Herself - And To Italy With Sara Stein
Today, I sit down with my amazing client, Sara Stein, as she shares her powerful and inspiring journey. Growing up in a larger body, she was always told that her body was the one "problem" she needed to fix. But when she lost weight in early adulthood, she discovered that it didn’t actually change her sense of self-worth - which led her into some really dark times.
By the time she joined The New Sexy, she had already done years of therapy and inner work. She no longer hated her body - but she felt disconnected from it. She realized she wanted to change the way she saw herself, both for her own healing and for the women she works with.
Sara recently launched her own boudoir photography business, and in this episode, we talk about how our personal healing directly impacts the depth and transformation our clients can experience. We cover everything from body comments, surgery, and moving through darkness to cultivating self-trust, letting go of others’ opinions, and why she decided to move to Italy just a few weeks into the program.
The doors to The New Sexy are now open.
It’s a 12-week mastermind to help you love your reflection and feel sexy AF through all the seasons of life.
Let’s see if we’re a good fit - book a discovery call here: https://calendly.com/rebeccasigala/tns-discovery-call
I would love to hear from you on Instagram!
https://www.instagram.com/rebeccasigalastudio
Hey, beautiful souls. Welcome back to the Body Image Revolution. Today I have somebody incredibly inspiring joining me on the podcast. She's a client who I deeply admire and feel so honored to know. Her name is Sara. She's 24 years old. She's a boudoir photographer and is originally from New York. And a little bit into our work together, she actually moved to Italy and I'm so excited for you guys to hear the whole story in this episode. The depth of the work that she's been doing is just next level. We began working together when she joined the New Sexy Mastermind in February, and she had been in my world for a little while before that. But at that point, the timing felt aligned and she took the leap, and it was the exact right moment. She just dove in and showed up for herself fully. And it's been amazing to witness her evolution. I think her story is one that a lot of women will really resonate with. Growing up, feeling like her body was really this problem to be fixed, and then getting to a point where she actually had cultivated more self-love and confidence, but she was looking in the mirror and feeling just so disconnected and disassociated from herself. It wasn't that she was hating herself, but she just didn't recognize herself and she wasn't giving herself the love and the care that she would want for her own clients, which makes this work so meaningful because that was definitely something that I experienced in my own journey as well. Supporting her through that deep body connection work and building self-trust, and learning to truly feel at home in her body and in herself while she is helping other women do the same. Is, my jam. That's just the kind of ripple effect that really gives me the chills, and I know you're gonna love her. She's just so real and honest and grounded. This conversation is rich and deep. We did have a few technical glitches, but trust me, it's well worth the listen. It's all about self-trust and letting go of what anybody else might think about you. It's about choosing a life that actually feels like you and creating safety in your body and in your work and in your world. Let's get into it. Hey Sarah, thank you so much for coming on today.
Sara Stein:Thank you for having me.
Rebecca Sigala:Absolutely. This has been a long time coming. We've been in touch for such a long time, and then you recently came into the New Sexy and it's been such an amazing experience. So incredible to have you there and have you part of this community and you've inspired me so much. And now I'm really excited for these listeners to be inspired by you as well.
Sara Stein:Me too. I feel like you've been such a big part of my journey more than just the past three months that we've been doing The New Sexy. It's really the whole Body Image Revolution. It's like maybe two years now of me just, learning so much from you and this is really an honor.
Rebecca Sigala:Wow. that's amazing. Thank you so much for saying that. When was the first time you came across my work? You said two years ago. Where did you find me?
Sara Stein:So I remember our first even like discovery call that we had. I was sitting in my college dorm room, in Philadelphia after a lot of soul searching and just trying to figure myself out. I came across your Instagram and like totally fell in love with your whole message and, you know, just your authenticity really spoke to me. And, yeah, I was just really inspired and I didn't really know where it was gonna take me, but I'm really glad I reached out. You were 22 at the time? Yeah. Yeah, I was 22.
Rebecca Sigala:I wish that I began this journey that young. Well, I mean, now I've been thinking about it. Okay. So I kind of did, but it doesn't feel like it. I always said from the beginning that you feel like such a old soul. It feels like you've already been through five different lifetimes. I'd love for people to hear a little bit about your background and about you. Can you share a little bit about, specifically, your body story and what led you to where you were right before we began The New Sexy?
Sara Stein:Oh, yeah. So that's a fun story. At 17 years old I was 300 pounds and I struggled a lot with my health, with body image, with so many things. But, I had bariatric sleeve surgery, so they removed 70% of my stomach and I started to lose weight finally. And then to expedite that, I got liposuction and, you know, very quickly did my skin removal surgeries, my back, my stomach. It was a really big part of my life.
Rebecca Sigala:So that was so much change so quickly.
Sara Stein:Yeah, exactly. it was really fast. And I quickly gained the weight back actually after I had surgery. And I always talk about how it was so traumatic to like feel like I finally, you know, got there. And the thing that my whole life was about, I always said, my biggest problem is that I'm fat and everything else is totally fine. My life is great, but my problem is I'm fat. So that was totally holding me back from everything. And then when I was 21, I think I was almost back at my starting weight, and that was a crazy low for me because it's, you know, everything that I thought I figured out. Like how did I get back here? How was I. Right. Able to so easily fall the, worst version of myself.
Rebecca Sigala:you saw it as a personal failing.
Sara Stein:Yeah, total failure. It's like I threw away everything that I worked so hard for. And in my mind, this was my, this was everything. This was my problem, this was my purpose. This was everything.
Rebecca Sigala:Can I ask you what kind of external pressures you had about your body? Because obviously we're not born just hating our bodies or thinking that our bodies are a problem to be fixed and we get so much external messaging. And I think for everybody it's a little bit different. I mean, some people could get a lot of pressure from their family or their friends, or school, their religion, the media. Where was the most pressure coming from for you?
Sara Stein:Well, yeah, I mean the story in my house growing up was my parents were both overweight. We were always eating salad and talking about, you know, what is the healthy option? We never had flour or sugar. if my mom was making challah for Shabbos, it was like, okay, let's do whole wheat this week.'cause we all look super fat. You know? It was always something like that. And when we were clothing shopping, my mother always told me, just choose the black because it's the most slimming and you know, you can't wear that. It's not meant for your body and no, these are for the other people. You have to go to the plus size section. And yeah, it was totally the way that I was raised.
Rebecca Sigala:This was the thing that you guys were focused on as a family together.
Sara Stein:Right. Yeah. And, my older sisters also had their struggles, but I think I was the heaviest of the girls. And my mom really took that to heart and like tried to help me because I wasn't as thin as my other sisters. And, you know, this also went into like, shidduchim and like just the bigger, Orthodox, I didn't mention that, but I come from an Orthodox, Jewish background. And it was a lot about our image and, eventually we're gonna have to marry you off, so we better shape this into the best version that we can. Wow. Shape this into the best version that we can. Wow. To be so young and to think that your body is literally a project that you're supposed to be working on and fixing and perfecting is so much pressure. Yeah. And I didn't really think of it until much later of it being a problem, but definitely.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. That makes so much sense. What age did you start to realize that you felt different, that there was something wrong about your body? Was it really young?
Sara Stein:Forever. Yeah, I remember as far back as I can go, I think always just, not being able to buy clothes in the Jewish stores because they didn't carry my size right. It was always a problem. I remember when I was 17, I had a birthday party with a couple of my friends. We had, you know, birthdays close to each other, so we all dressed up in little black dresses and matching and they were all these like gorgeous, you know, thin modelesque girls. And I was this 250 pound, blonde, short hair. Totally different. And I remember my friend's boyfriend walked up to me and said, you know, you're such a cool person. Like, you're so much fun. He was complimenting me and he said, you know, if you weren't so fat, there would be guys lined around the block to date you. Ugh. but like, that's why you don't have a boyfriend. I hate that they all had boyfriends. And I just remember like sitting there and that crushed me completely. And it's something that I saw really come up so much in my life, you know, like just, okay, well what can I do to get a boyfriend now? Like, what other qualities can I find that might convince someone to date me? Because if they can look past that, then you know, I have all these other things I can use, so I might as well serve to the best of my ability.
Rebecca Sigala:Right. I think so many people can relate to that, where it's not that they don't have any confidence or any self-worth, they actually really like a lot of things about themselves. And like you had a lot of friends and would go to parties and were very social, but then the one thing that was always a thing on their minds is their body. And I think that's just very relatable and really shows the nuance of what confidence is because it's not that you weren't confident in who you were, but you didn't like your body. Very understandably so, because everybody told you that you shouldn't. Right. I'm so sorry that happened. I know that it was not the only time.
Sara Stein:Yeah, definitely not, but I'm grateful for it.'cause now I can really look back and see how it really is one person's words about what I'm supposed to be that can like give me all these limiting beliefs and I see the catapult effect and to really look back on that and be able to hold that story and like hug my younger self and
Rebecca Sigala:I love the place that you're in. It's so loving and compassionate and we'll get there. We'll get there in this story. It's such a good story. Okay so the time after you had your surgery, until you started to gain the weight back. What was that experience like for you? Because I think people would love to hear this, especially because we have this idea in our minds that, you lose the weight, everything's perfect. And especially for someone like you who said that, that was the only problem, what was your experience like?
Sara Stein:Well, suddenly I had tons of confidence. Right. And I was so proud of myself and I had won the lottery and like, okay, now I have a pretty face and a good body and, you know, I'm all set, I'm all fixed.
Rebecca Sigala:You felt on top of the world for a moment.
Sara Stein:Yeah. And I had a boyfriend suddenly, you know, so I moved to Israel and I lived there. I definitely used my body to my advantage, in a lot of different ways, but I felt that that was my power because if you remember, my whole focus in life, the whole problem is my body. So if I don't have that, And I stepped into this power, but I don't think I used it in a very healthy way. I got into drugs. I got into just every other problem that you can think of after the body stuff. Um, yeah, alcohol, just anything. And of course, my mental health wasn't really matching up to what I thought it would. And I quickly gained a lot of weight back and it was like, I kind of looked at that period of my life as the window of bliss. Like, oh, but when I was in Israel, I was posting, I was traveling, I was on top of the world, you know, the best version of myself. And then suddenly when, I tried to heal some things and, and take that away. And when I realized that my body wasn't the only thing that I had, I was crushed.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. And I had
Sara Stein:to start realizing, well, what is there else to focus on?
Rebecca Sigala:Wow. Because it gave you that temporary boast of confidence and then it just was so deeply ingrained, and I personally relate to this, that, that's your worth and that's your power. And so you use that to continue to feel powerful, to feel worthy, to feel loved.
Sara Stein:When I started to gain the weight back, I was totally devastated and I really thought that was the end. And okay, I'm obviously not capable of keeping the weight off, so I'm just gonna be that person who's, I'm just the fat person. I'm not right even worthy of that body that I had because I can't hold it together. And I think that darkest bottom that I hit was what made me jumpstart into the healing journey
Rebecca Sigala:Okay, so you had gained weight and you started your healing journey. What was that like? What shifted for you? Was that when you contacted me or did you contact me a little bit after?
Sara Stein:Yeah. I'm trying to think.'cause everything fell apart. I went to rehab, I got fat again. I guess that's also a big part of it. I, I went to rehab and then. Once I took away the drugs and all the other vices, that's kind of also what made me gain so much weight. Yeah. And I realized that I have to get myself together and I went back to school, which is when I contacted you actually. Yeah. It was pretty much aligned with that part. I was not in a good place on our first call.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. I remember that call. It was really a special call because even though you weren't in the best place, you still had so much desire not to be, and so much self-awareness of where you're at. And it was a really beautiful opening. But when we first spoke, I think you had gone to one of my free master classes and you were following me. But after that first call, you decided it just wasn't the right time and so we just continued to stay in touch. What was your life like when you took the next free master class last winter and actually decided to enter The New Sexy? Can you tell me a little bit about where you were at then?
Sara Stein:I think that I held onto the, like I knew that I was going to do The New Sexy at some point, so even after our first call and you know, it didn't line up financially and it just didn't work out. But I just knew that like, it was gonna happen. This was happening because I already, yeah. It was like, you know, and I think it got to the point where I was doing tons of healing. I was, you know, therapy, you started doing boudoir. So many kinds of, I started doing boudoir photography. Yes. And it got to the point where it was like, for my business also, and I held on to the little parts of The New Sexy that you were using in your marketing to try to, explain what it is. And I was like, yeah, that's it. And I was trying to understand it on my own and put it into my photography and use it as a business. And it got to the point where, I either get it or I don't like a do or die because yeah, I knew that there was something
Rebecca Sigala:before we go to that, can I ask you, why did you start doing boudoir photography? Because I mean, people probably know my journey and how much my work pushed me forward into a healing journey because I was giving so much love and compassion to my clients and seeing them as perfect and whole exactly as they are, and then I wasn't able to see myself with that same kind of compassion. I'm wondering for you, first of all, what made you decide to start doing boudoir photography, and then how did that, coincide with your own personal journey?
Sara Stein:Ooh. I didn't know what boudoir photography was before I came across your page. Whoa. Um, yeah, and I remember there it was a three day masterclass that I did with you, the free one, and it was after the last one. And I had this like notebook where I was like, oh, this is gold. Like, okay. Amazing. But, I didn't really completely understand it, I don't think. But yeah, I saw my sister upstairs and she was standing in the mirror, and it was right after we had spoken about this and, you know, looking at photos of cellulite and like, what does this mean? And then she's standing there squeezing her legs in the mirror and checking out her butt. And she's like almost in tears of how much she hates herself. And I'm looking at her and I'm just like, you are literally, to me in my eyes, my sister is the most beautiful person in the world. Mm-hmm. Like, she's gorgeous. She's, mind, body, soul. She's beautiful.
Rebecca Sigala:That's amazing. And I'm just
Sara Stein:like, I'm not seeing the same things she's seeing. And I'm like, Hey, how do you feel about me taking a picture of you not in your, like your mirror is not flattering. you take really bad pictures in your mirror and like, yeah, And I said like, Hey, can we do a, a boudoir photo shoot? And When I was thinking about this, it was also the same time that I was, working on my senior thesis project for school.
Rebecca Sigala:Mm-hmm.
Sara Stein:And I needed to come up with an idea, and I'm like, okay, wait. This makes so much sense to me. let me see if I, like, translate this idea that I have, this message that I'm trying to get across and make it into a film. I was studying media and communication, so it was like open-ended, do whatever you want. And I made a proposal to my professor and she loved it. And I borrowed equipment. I got my first, DSLR camera and I did a shoot with my sister and I got some friends. And it was the best experience I ever had in my life, and I loved it. And at the end of it, I remember my sister's friend came to me and she's like, you know, you need to do this. I've never felt like that in front of a camera. Like, you are the reason that I was able to look like that. And I said no, it's, you. what are you talking about? And she said, no, you held this space for me to feel completely beautiful and comfortable. And I felt stunning the entire time. And Wow. And it's true. They're beautiful photos. I still love them. Yeah. And I said, okay, if I'm able to hold that for her, I can do this for other women. And if I can spread this feeling, that's all I wanna do.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. And'cause you also know how deeply painful it is to not feel that way. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You know what it's like to live your whole life, feeling like your appearance, your body, is never gonna be enough.
Sara Stein:Yeah. And seeing the transformation from before the shoot, to after the shoot, just seeing the way she was walking, the way she spoke about herself, showing the pictures. It's like she never had a profile picture before that. And then like. You can see the entire energy changed and
Rebecca Sigala:I love that when our clients, change the picture to their profile picture. It's the best. It's like, yes. Yeah. best feeling even now, even after doing it for 12 years. Totally. I love it. Wow, So then that kind of put you on this path of wanting to help other women feel beautiful. How did that translate back to yourself? Like, you took that masterclass and I remember having this conversation with you. You were like, well, I need to focus on my business right now. I'm really Okay in terms of, where I'm at with my body confidence. I've really worked on it. I'm really appreciative of where my body's at and the things I can do. Do you remember that conversation we were having? I think we were talking on WhatsApp, right?
Sara Stein:Do you remember what you said to me? What did I say after I was sitting talking about all my problems, you said, can you go look in the mirror and tell me how you feel? And I did. And I went in the mirror and I started bawling, crying. And I was like, she's got it. She gets it. How am I supposed to be successful in my business when I'm trying to help women feel amazing and beautiful and powerful when I look in the mirror and I hate myself? And it wasn't even hating myself, but it was like disconnected. I didn't feel beautiful in that moment. I felt like I was letting myself go. It was the least important thing because the most important thing is my business, you know, and, my finances and right. My, dog, everything comes before me. And I'm looking in the mirror and I said of course. Like, how am I supposed to get my message across to anyone if I don't feel that way about myself? And that's when I messaged you back and said, I need to do your course now. I don't care what it means. This was the do or die for me.'cause I was like, oh, okay. That's it.
Rebecca Sigala:Right. it clicked that it wasn't just feeling a little better about your body or having the tools to be grateful. It was something deeper than that. It was really about, how you felt about yourself on a deeper level and what that could mean. Obviously for your clients, for your business, but I think also for yourself and your life. I think I asked you, I was like, wait, so how is that showing up? Go through your day. What is it like to get dressed? What is it like, you know, to eat, to be intimate with people, to, be in relationship with your family? all these things, how is it affecting all of that? And I think one of the things that came up a lot for you, if I remember correctly, was that disconnection. You just kind of felt like you were on autopilot trying to make things work in your life and be as confident as you can and just go with it. But you weren't feeling connected to yourself.
Sara Stein:Yeah. Totally. And I know this is something we touched on in The New Sexy a lot, but it's so easy to sweep it under the rug and just not think about it. And like, if I'm confident, I'm confident, but I'm just not looking in the mirror, but I know I'm confident and I'm just gonna keep going and doing. and even when you did say that to me, like, go look in the mirror, I said like, what does it have to do with anything? Like what? Like I'm, I'm focused on my business. Why are you talking about my reflection in the mirror? Like what does it have to do with my body? And it was realizing that it's not something I can push under the rug because it is the thing that goes into every aspect of relationships, food, business, everything. And that's the foundation, Yeah, it is. It's the foundation for everything.
Rebecca Sigala:Okay. that really paints a bit of the picture of where you were at before you started The New Sexy. I always say to people, let's figure out two or three things that you would love to accomplish in these next 12 weeks. Do you remember what those were for you?
Sara Stein:Oh my God. So I remember you saying that they needed to be tangible goals. So my translation of that was, to see success in my business, to, I remember I wanted to be hydrated And to see that I would see like my breakouts clearing up my skin elasticity because that was like, yeah. You know, things I didn't like in the mirror, I didn't feel healthy. Right. And the, like, hydration, you know, that was a goal.
Rebecca Sigala:do you remember when you told me that goal? I was like, first of all, I get that because obviously there's things that happen physically when we start to take care of ourselves. But what if it wasn't about the breaking out? Or what if it wasn't about the acne? What if it was more about how you were taking care of yourself and how you feel?
Sara Stein:But I remember trying to convince you that, I'm like, it's my skin what do you mean? Yeah. and if that was three months ago, like my mindset shift now, I can't even believe I said that.
Rebecca Sigala:I love that. I love looking back on things like, wow, I can't even believe I said that. I can't believe I was thinking that. And it wasn't even that long ago, but you've just shifted so much, not only in how you think about yourself, but in your life and how you're showing up. And it's just, it was a total identity shift. You have totally like glowed up. It's amazing.
Sara Stein:these were my goals, my goals in life. You know, it's like really, like that's, and just to see now, my goals are so much bigger. I'm so aware of my capabilities now and how far I can go, and it's so much more than just drinking enough water so that my skin looks good.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. But that's what society tells us is gonna fix our problems when our skin is good and we lose weight and all of these things. And I think, part of the process of, the 12 weeks that you go through is, realizing where that all came from and that it never actually worked in the past.'cause even as you shared your body's story, there were points when you did lose weight, thinking that that would be the thing that fixed everything and then you realize, no, that actually isn't. And I think you kind of came into it realizing that to a certain level, but then more deeply ingraining it as the months went on.
Sara Stein:Totally.
Rebecca Sigala:I remember you said something in the beginning, maybe a couple weeks into somebody else, you're like, just so you know, I've been all different sizes and it doesn't change how you feel about yourself.
Sara Stein:I did say that because I heard things that I used to say all the time and I was sitting there and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. Like, you don't get it yet, but you will. It's like that's not it. You're still gonna feel that way after you lose the weight. I promise, like nothing shifted.
Rebecca Sigala:maybe temporarily or on a surface level, but not actually
Sara Stein:Totally. it's not gonna fix the problem. This is not the answer.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. Wow. I remember that moment. I was like, Sara, just like really seeing you in your power so early on it was really, really special. Okay, so what was your experience like in The New Sexy, just going through it, the modules, the group experience? How did you like it?
Sara Stein:The New Sexy was not only was it a three month coaching program, like an amazing program, but it's literally the blueprint for the life that I have right now. Like a couple weeks in, I decided to move to Italy and I totally just restarted my life The New Sexy was with me every step of the way in this journey. And wow, each module came at the perfect time and it gave me the energy I needed to keep going. And even when nobody understood me and I was getting so much shit, and everyone's like, what are you doing? I knew completely what I was doing. I knew it felt right. I knew that I was doing the right thing I felt like I had you by my side the entire time. Like I was supported. I had this thing every week to go to. I showed up to every office hours with so much energy, like, okay, oh my God. Update you on
Rebecca Sigala:call every office hours. I think maybe you missed one or two out of the entire time. It was incredible to see the way you showed up for yourself and I think people could hear that and be like, oh, okay, she just took it really seriously and did it perfect. But it wasn't even about doing it perfectly. you would have a shitty day and then still show up and just be there, you know? It wasn't about getting an A plus, it was just literally showing up.
Sara Stein:Totally. there was no other option. You know, there is the investment and it's like, you know, get something out of it. But for me it was like, no. If I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna be vulnerable. I'm gonna do the hard work because this is my shot.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah.
Sara Stein:This is where I'm, I have the opportunity to really explore everything and, and I was raw. And I was open and I said, you know, brutal honesty, not brutal honesty. Yeah, can't think of the word, but
Rebecca Sigala:you were just like being honest with yourself
Sara Stein:so easy to, you know, say everything's okay and okay. Yeah, I get it, I get it. But, I needed to completely understand it because I know that I've done the surface level work before but, I needed to really rip myself open and just, get it in,
Rebecca Sigala:it was also something that was probably like so different than anything that you'd ever done before. And you had already realized that this was something that you really wanted to do, and then this gave you the opportunity to just dive in, go all in on yourself, and that's exactly what you did. It was. Absolutely beautiful. The first module is the self-trust and intuition module, and I'm guessing that that has something to do with you leaning into your self-trust and your intuition. And like you said, just knowing, even though everyone thought it was crazy that you were packing up and going to Italy and kind of starting this whole new life, you really did lean into that self trust and intuition. Was there something that either came from the module or the group that helped you do that?
Sara Stein:Oh, totally. And, I mean, you know, if you really wanna connect your body image to every aspect of your life, this is a great example because, trusting yourself to know what to eat, what's good for you, what your limits are. it's the same tuning into what you know. There's so many opinions from the outside and there's so many, what's the right way to do things? What's the process? You know, what does society say is the best thing for this? And what did your parents say? it is just, there's so many things. But I took that and I took it so seriously. I took it into like my home, my business, my family relationships, everything. No, I don't need to be what everyone else told me I needed to be. And that's not just the model on the cover of the magazine, but it's also like, I don't need to live here. I'm living here because they want me to live here. I like it. It's cool, but where do I wanna be? I wanna be in Italy. So I went to Italy.
Rebecca Sigala:So much of breaking free from diet culture and beauty standards is also just breaking free from other people's opinions and really leaning into your own opinion of yourself and your self trust and your intuition. And I was like, yes! You moving to Italy. That was just the coolest thing. And I was so happy to be with you along this journey. So that was a big breakthrough moment. Were there any other big breakthrough moments or wins for you that really stick out? I mean, I know every single week you came and you always had something to share, something that shifted or even just like, I'm here and I showed up, which obviously is a huge win. So I know that there were so many, but are there a couple other big wins or breakthrough moments that really stick out to you?
Sara Stein:Oh my God, so many. So many. the first thing that comes to mind, even though I can probably talk here for two hours, but the first thing that comes to mind I'd say is the idea of taking care of myself. So we spoke about how I was like very, dissociated from my body. I, I struggled to drink water, Because I was using this like, okay, well my value is how I can serve people. Right. What I can do, because it's not, you know, I'm still that fat girl in my head. Right. and it's like, I was so busy proving myself and showing up in every way and trying to be this, you know, thing that taking a step back and realizing like, I need to take care of myself. I need to, honor my body, I need to listen to myself. my needs are just as important as everyone else's needs. And you know, we have the idea of like, you have to fill your cup before you pour it. there was so much of it that I knew, but I didn't grasp the idea that what I gave to myself and things that I thought were selfish were actually the things that gave me the energy to properly show up and to serve people in a really authentic and beautiful way. And to really empower women and to really, help my family through their issues. when I realized that I was something worth taking care of, the same way that I took care of someone else, it changed everything. And I think that that for me was like, damn, knowing my worth, but on such a different level that I don't even know how to explain.
Rebecca Sigala:Right. I think like, I mean, that's absolutely incredible and I feel it when you shared that with me. I think we always know, oh, we have to fill our glass, or it's important to take care of ourselves. It's not like we don't logically know these things. It's something that's so much deeper of knowing your worth, knowing that you're worthy of the care and prioritizing yourself, putting yourself first. Without thinking that you need to change your body along with the self-care. Because I think so many people associate the self-care with weight loss and perfecting their body.
Sara Stein:Yeah. And I think that's where so much of my dissociation came from, is because why care about myself if I'm, if I'm shit, you know, it's like, what is there to even care about? Um, yeah. And that shift. That's why, you know, when I try to explain what The New Sexy is like for me, it's like really a blueprint on how to take care of yourself, how to show up for yourself, how to, get in touch with these things. And like, there's so many tools in there that, you know, little things that really just help me, reach that acceptance of myself and like, I love myself. Like I, I'm obsessed with myself. There used to be so much guilt with that and like, I felt so selfish for even thinking that, you know, but it's like, no,
Rebecca Sigala:Wow. Yes. Such queen energy. I so agree with you and I really love that you call it a blueprint because that's how I see it as well. And I really relate to your upbringing and the way that things were taught to you and everything really being about shrinking our bodies, perfecting ourselves, how other people see us. That in the mess of all that, we were never taught how to love ourselves. We were never taught how to take care of ourselves without changing ourselves.
Sara Stein:Exactly. And you know, that's, I think what really brought me to, the knowing that I was gonna do this program, like from the very beginning I just felt so understood by this idea. and it just comes with diet culture, but so many women are taught that this is you, you know, whatever diet culture is. I mentioned to you the other day that I, I feel like you wrote this for me. I think that
Rebecca Sigala:Wow, the way that this
Sara Stein:spoke to me, really just like, I finally felt so seen and understood and like, oh, so I don't have to be someone else. You see me for me and like, yeah. and that changed everything because there's so many programs, you know, how to mold into this version and how to mold into this version. And then one, it's like, how do you be you and be okay? So it's like, hi, yes, you know, I don't wanna be anyone else. But it's how to find that within myself. It's beautiful.
Rebecca Sigala:That is so beautiful. The way that you just put that. Were there any really challenging parts for you?
Sara Stein:I think all of it in a way was challenging because self work is challenging and, limiting beliefs stop you from so much. And when that's ingrained in you, it's like you need to really work through it.
Rebecca Sigala:Were you nervous at all?'cause I know that a lot of women are nervous about like, what will come up for them emotionally through the process. They're scared of it being challenging in a way that they can't deal with. That is just gonna make it worse or send them into a spiral. Could you speak on that?
Sara Stein:Yeah, I mean, it, it's true. this opened up a bag of worms and, it forced me to look into so many different parts of my life. even when I opened up about something small in a meeting that was much deeper for me. I had to go to my therapist and work through it. coming to Italy was not easy. I cried a lot. I had these breakdowns, but that's what you need to grow. You have to hit a point that's hard and something you have to work through in order to come out on the other side. That's what the healing journey is.
Rebecca Sigala:like to really face that discomfort and be okay with it.
Sara Stein:But that's also the beautiful part about this is there's so much support, like every module is yes, you're opening up the bag of worms, but it's also like the blueprint on how to be and how to deal with it. It's not easy. none of this works easy and
Rebecca Sigala:It doesn't just open things up and then leave you there.
Sara Stein:Yeah. It's not, I mean, you can read a book, you can, you know, buy a course that teaches you things, but this is a step by step healing blueprint. That, and that's why I was able to get through it. And that's why I was so eager to show up because you didn't leave us hanging. Once you opened up the bag of worms, it was like, okay, and now let's do this.
Rebecca Sigala:I totally relate to it.'cause I'm, thinking about why I was kind of apprehensive about group experiences a few years ago before I did The New Sexy, and even just speaking for myself, I remember that one time I was in a group retreat and we were all sharing, and I remember feeling like I was just vulnerable and that was it, you know, I shared something, I was super vulnerable, but there was nothing after that. And that's not a great feeling.
Sara Stein:Yeah. And I think that I'm apprehensive to group experiences for the same reason.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah.
Sara Stein:But the process of The New Sexy is also so personalized. I didn't feel like I was sharing my journey with anyone. I didn't feel vulnerable in a way that, like people were watching me. It was really us going into it together. And I was able to see, like, these were strangers to me, but I love these women and I love who they are, and I think that they're powerful and you did open
Rebecca Sigala:up really early on too.
Sara Stein:I did. I have to say being vulnerable is really hard for me also. Yeah. But there's something about the safe space when you realize that it's not, it's not about you and your story, but we're, we're here trying to figure it out. We're here trying to heal and see it from the other perspective and to embrace our bodies and to embrace who we are. And we did it together and we supported each other and yeah. I didn't feel like I was a part of a group. it was just, it's the perfect balance.'cause it's small, it's, yeah,
Rebecca Sigala:it's intimate.
Sara Stein:Yeah.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. I love that. I love that we were able to have the group experience where we get to see other people's journeys, witness them and empathize, and also feel like each person is individually supported on their journey. That's really, really important to me. I love that so much. Okay, so what is it like for you now? The new actually just finished a couple weeks ago, which I just can't believe I want
Sara Stein:more, I need more. But no, I, I really just Yes, let's do it. Of course there is ebbs and flows in life, but of course, it's something I noticed in these couple weeks that it's been over. I, I open up my journal and it's just a reminder of who I am. I can step into that power and wake up every morning and decide to be the best version of myself. And remember, and that's not to say it's not hard, but. But this is a really good anchor to like, really bring myself back to, I'd say now I'm skyrocketing with it. I, I've been,
Rebecca Sigala:I feel like right after The New Sexy, you just got this burst of energy. you'd think like, okay, now it's done. Let's just kind of chill for a while. But I think it ending almost gave you another push in this growth journey of yours.
Sara Stein:Big time. I don't even recognize myself. I don't know if I can really put it into words, but it's really like stepping into a new chapter, a new version of like, oh, so this is who I am. Okay. I wanna go be her. And it's like an awakening.
Rebecca Sigala:what does that mean? I mean, I know it's so hard to explain these things, but I want. To explain them because people need to hear it. And I think something that really does help is like, okay, so what was happening before The New Sexy is that you were on autopilot, you were feeling disconnected from your body, you were just going through the motions. You were pretty confident in certain areas of your life, but avoiding the mirror and just not wanting to think about that side of yourself and wanting to focus on business and all the external tangible, solid goals. Right. And now your day looks so much different. Your life looks so much different. So maybe walk us through a day in Sara's life.
Sara Stein:Oh my gosh. I'd say one of the biggest changes that I've done in my day-to-day routine even is waking up in the morning and looking at myself in the mirror and literally saying, okay, what do I need to feel good today. If I'm gonna show up, am I gonna be wearing sweatpants? Am I gonna be in a and it's okay to wear sweatpants sometimes, if that's how. Yeah. But do I, do I need to wash my hair? Do I need to, do something? And that's something that I was never really able to remember to do because I still wake up feeling overwhelmed sometimes. It's like, okay, today's gonna be a big one. I'm nervous about things. I'm unsure. I'm, you know, it's like, okay, how do I feel? I always remember to look in the mirror now and, I need to feel like myself because that's gonna gimme the energy to do everything I have to do today. and I walk around and I know who I am and I hold my head up and I'm proud of myself. And people being in Italy, there's a lot of, um, remarks and, how do I say this the right way?
Rebecca Sigala:You should just say it because it, it's seriously outrageous.
Sara Stein:there's no, like here in Italy, there's really no sugarcoating anything. no filter. If someone has a problem with me, they will say it to my face. If someone doesn't like what I'm doing, they will say it. and that's something that, you know, could have been a really big struggle for me. But now knowing who I am and knowing who I'm showing up as, and being so secure in that and trusting myself and knowing that everyone is just, you know, talking to themselves in the mirror and I'm just doing my thing here. It's like, it's given me so much energy and strength and I'm able to show up in a way that I've, the way that I want to show up, the person who I'm looking at in the mirror is who want to be.
Rebecca Sigala:That is everything. I remember you told me even recently that someone was making like a joke or comments about your body. Right? Can you share a little bit about that and how you dealt with it?
Sara Stein:I dunno if you can bleep out the curses, but No, I, I,
Rebecca Sigala:we're all about the curses. there's an E on most of the podcast episodes.
Sara Stein:I mean, my name here is Stupid American Fat Cunt. I hear every day like, stop fucking eating. You eat all day. oh my God. It's in like a joking way, but where I come from, we don't say that. Really. Having that like slapped in my face was like, oh, like what? but I look, wow. I don't see a fat, a stupid American. I don't see a fat cunt. I see myself, I love myself. I think I'm perfect exactly how I am. So when they say that, it's, it's funny to me. and like if someone said that to me a year ago, I would've been crushed. I mean, I don't think it's
Rebecca Sigala:okay that they even say it. And I know it's like a joke in their culture and whatever, but wow, it's just so outrageous. I feel like, what do you even say to that? But I think the power, that you've harnessed in yourself is so great that it speaks volumes of where you're at. That when people make these jokes, that are not funny, they make these comments, you actually realize that you don't agree with them and it doesn't even touch your self image.
Sara Stein:Totally. Like when someone tells me to stop eating, I'll push over my plate. Like, you want some? are you hungry? I remember there was a point where we spoke about rebuttal. you know, what do you say when someone comments about your body? and I was having a really hard time actually using those in my personal situations.'cause they are so outrageous. Really what it is, is like when you're able to smile and wink and just like, you can say whatever you want to me, but I know who I am. People shut up and turn around and walk away. it's, it's, yeah, the energy truth be told, like, I, I'm so sure about myself that there's nothing anyone could say to me that's gonna dampen my light or ruin my energy. So that's my rebuttal. I just smile and continue doing thing and its more powerful than ever.
Rebecca Sigala:A woman who loves herself is the most powerful, unstoppable, force in this world.
Sara Stein:100%. and I believe that with my whole heart and stomach because it's been life changing. I really don't recognize myself. It's amazing.
Rebecca Sigala:You're amazing. Thank you so much for sharing your story and your journey with us. How far you've come is absolutely incredible. But it makes sense because of how you saw this opportunity and how you showed up and not needing it to be perfect and moving through the discomfort and leaning into the support that we were able to give you. it just makes sense that you are where you are. And I remember speaking to you in the beginning, I saw that vision, I mean, I didn't know you'd be in Italy even better than my wildest dreams, but I, had no doubt in my mind that you would get there. And so all of this makes so much sense to me, but it just also at the same time, feels absolutely magical.
Sara Stein:I'm, I'm so honored to be on your podcast because I was just a fan a while ago dreaming of this. Oh, and now I can say about it. It's like, I thank you for having me and thank you for showing me how far I've come because this is crazy. I have goosebumps.
Rebecca Sigala:You're so welcome, and it is so crazy. I just feel so honored to be a part of your journey and this ripple effect that's already taking place in your life is nuts because first of all, you're a boudoir photographer. I love that so much. I love how much our work coincides with our own healing journey. And the space that you've been able to create for your clients already because of this internal work that you're doing for yourself is unbelievable.
Sara Stein:Yeah. And you know, it really lit a fire inside of me because there's only so many people I can recommend you to. And I sent your account to probably a hundred people and you gotta do this. Like, you should do this. This is the answer, like question mark, like, whatcha talking about. Like, I feel like for me that made me want to do it. I also want to help women step into their power. I also want to show women who they're, and help them own it and feel it and be it. And I'm working through that with my business and how to execute that same message, but I'm so grateful for this. Thank you for showing me that I needed to see it within myself before I did it for anyone else. and that's really the first step and for my business and for everyone else's business, I think, and I mean this is, I can't see myself doing anything else. I love this and I love the feeling it gives people and the energy and ugh,
Rebecca Sigala:I am right with you. I know exactly what you mean. It almost feels like this career chose me versus I chose this career and I can't even imagine doing anything else.
Sara Stein:I always make this joke, like I moved to Italy because everyone kept telling me to get a job and I was like, no, I have a job. I have my job. Go do my job.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. Peace out. Exactly. Totally. Oh my gosh. Yeah, and I think that is a really cool aspect of The New Sexy that Body Image Revolution that you mentioned in the beginning. It really truly is this revolution, even in the last round of The New Sexy, it's just so much, leadership energy. Women who either have their own businesses or work with other women or wanna hold space for other women, are in the healing world, are coaches. I love that so much and I don't think you need to be that in order to do this work and to be powerful and have a ripple effect because you can literally just show up as yourself and inspire someone to love themselves more. Your kids, your partner, all of that. But this leadership aspect is so freaking cool too, because then you go that day or that year the rest of your life, having this strong foundation of self-love and being able to create deeper, more powerful spaces for other women as well. And the effects of that is endless.
Sara Stein:Watching it manifest into my client's day-to-day lives. Like I saw a client who was struggling and couldn't find work, and then suddenly she opened up a restaurant like two days after her photo shoot. She was like, I, and I'm like, it really, it's, it's, I mean, yes, for me, I think I'm a boudoir photographer. This is everything. This is my, blueprint, whatever. I get it. But I really see this for every single woman and every career path, You know, I remember in The Visibility Code you said, you know, what's my audience? And I said, women. People. Everybody, this is for everybody. And yeah, I believe that. Yeah. Hundred percent.
Rebecca Sigala:So that was actually one of the questions that I was gonna ask you is. Is there someone specific that you would recommend The New Sexy for? Who would this be good for in your mind? What kind of friends would you recommend?
Sara Stein:I have already recommended The New Sexy to a very wide range of people. And it's funny to actually look back on like my mom, my friend, someone I met, in passing. But anyone who feels that they are not worthy of what they want and is disconnected from a vision of themselves that they wish they were. And it's so easy to see from the outside perspective they are that just do it, you know? But the disconnect between someone and their body means everything in every aspect of their life. And so when I say this is for everyone, I really do believe that. Yeah. I also think any woman in a transition period of any kind that feels like they wanna get to that next level. Yeah. anyone who wants to step into another version of themselves or start a new chapter, or create something. Yeah. This is, this is the foundation, and until you're able to really work out that relationship, for me, looking back, I think it would be impossible. Yeah. Like now, I, I, I'm in such a different place. I'm looking at everything from a much wider lens, from knowing myself, trusting myself, and, yeah.
Rebecca Sigala:What would you say to yourself when you were considering The New Sexy?'cause I know you were like, I need to do this now, but it wasn't the easiest decision. Imagine that she is right in front of you. She's nervous. She's about to make this big investment of her time, of her money, of her energy, and she is a little nervous. She's excited. What would you say to her?
Sara Stein:It's time to start trusting yourself and knowing yourself rather than trying to become a different version of you or, or being the way that you think you need to be. Because the first step is here, and this is where the relationship, this is where it all starts. it's really just time to turn inward and realize that I already have everything inside of me and I am all the things that I need to be, and I don't need to be anyone else and I don't need to become a better version of myself. I don't need to be my best self that's so distant because it's right here. I am her. And stepping into that is so much more powerful than changing anything about myself
Rebecca Sigala:Because then you'll have it through everything. That kind of foundation doesn't change when you change. You just always have it.
Sara Stein:Exactly. And it's about seeing it because everybody else does first. Right. We see it. Yeah. In our own version. But, you know, everyone always told me how amazing I was, and you have this quality and you're, you're so good at this and you're so gifted. And, but I, I wasn't able to be in touch with it because I thought they were talking about a different version of me that I, I felt so dissociated from.
Rebecca Sigala:Wow. And now you're seeing it. Oh, we love when women see themselves. It's just everything.
Sara Stein:And that's my, that's my business tagline. Yeah. Is just see yourself. Put on my business card. Just see yourself.
Rebecca Sigala:Oh, I love that. I love that so much. Sara, thank you so much for being on here. Thank you for being you, for being so authentic and vulnerable and showing up for the world because ugh, Lord knows the world needs your gifts and needs you to be you.
Sara Stein:Thank you for sharing this revolution with the world because I think this is really the start of everything for everyone, and I think you're gonna change the world. I really believe in it with my whole heart.
Rebecca Sigala:Hmm. It's my pleasure. Bye Sara.