5 Badass Ways To Respond to Body Comments

Ever get caught off guard when someone comments on your body, then find yourself spiraling after?

In this episode, I’m sharing 5 clear, powerful ways to respond in the moment—so you can protect your peace, hold your boundaries, and walk away feeling grounded and in control.

We’ll talk about why those comments cut so deep, how to stop giving your power away, and what it actually takes to feel unshakable in your body—no matter what anyone else says.

If you’ve been doing the inner work but still find yourself thrown off in these moments… this one’s for you.

DOORS NOW OPEN → The Glow Up [Free 4-Day Virtual Experience to go from clashing with your inner critic to feeling sexy AF and radiating main character energy.

Save your seat here: https://rebeccasigalacoaching.com/the-glow-up

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https://www.instagram.com/rebeccasigalastudio

Transcript

Rebecca Sigala: 0:00

Hey girl. Welcome back to The Body Image Revolution. I just wrapped up The Visibility Code and oh my God, you guys, it was so good. We had the best time together, and I'm always a little surprised, but I think I should not be surprised at this point because it happens every single time that I have a mini course, or a workshop, or a free masterclass even. I see how fast this shit works and it almost feels like magic, but it isn't because there is a method to this madness. What I do is I cut through the fluff. It's not fluff. It's not just inspiration that I hope that people take away from the day or the workshop. It's really getting to the root of what is going on, uncovering that in a loving and compassionate way. And then shifting it, starting to actually embody the woman that you're already becoming. These women brought it to the next level in The Visibility Code. It was so cool to see. It was all about being more visible in your business, showing up fully in your business and in your body. And I watched them go from holding back and second guessing themselves, not being sure what to say to posting bold and messy and beautiful content. Not because it was quote unquote perfect, but because it was real and people responded. They were liking and commenting and messaging them, and these women are on such. A beautiful, clear, confident path now. Yesterday was the last day and one of the women told me that it changed absolutely everything for her. And another woman said that She wasn't sure how this was going to be different than any other business course, but that it was so different, and that's because we went deeper. We got real, and it wasn't about just strategy. Of course, I gave them actionable things, but it was about how we see ourselves, how we see our business, and showing up fully as that bold, unapologetic, authentic us, so that we can bring in the clients and grow our business in a way that just feels really good and right to us. Because if you're just posting, we were talking a lot about being nervous, about being cringe, right? And I asked one of the women what it means to be cringe. And she said, well, I see this person posting online and she's dancing and all these things, and it just doesn't match up in my mind to who she actually is in real life. Could be true or not, but it only feels cringe for us when we don't feel like we're showing up authentically as ourselves and other people can have the thoughts that they're gonna have about us. But what matters most is our opinion of ourselves. And when we are clear about who we are and what we do and what our unique approach is, then we just really actually show up as our selves more often than not, and it doesn't feel cringe, it feels right, and then that brings in literally everything that's meant for us. It was so amazing. I had to share that with you guys. Today I am going to be talking about body comments. This is something that affects Every single one of us. And you know, I think that for some reason people really just feel that they are somehow allowed to comment on our bodies and the way that we look. It's just the lovely little diet culture that we live in. They often think that they are giving a compliment or they're being helpful, or they're just saying or trying to create conversation. But the impact of this is very real and sometimes it can completely throw us off if we're not prepared. So in this episode, I want to talk to you about what actually happens in those moments, why it hits so deep and there's no shame in it because it literally hits deep for most people, not just sensitive ones. Really, this is something that is a human experience. And I'm also gonna share how you can take your power back. I'm going to give you five badass ways to respond so you're not second guessing yourself or spiraling. They're grounded, they're clear, they're powerful. I want you to be able to walk away from those moments where someone comments on your body just feeling empowered and confident and not confused or thinking that it has anything to do with you or your worth. So let's get into it. I know that if you're here. You are a woman who wants to fully embrace her body and love what she sees when she looks in the mirror, feel sexy, feel good, feel alive, and energized, and I'm guessing. that you've probably come a long way on your own personal development journey. I bet that you love the idea of having a positive body image. Otherwise, why would you be listening to this podcast? And I bet you want to pass that on to your kids or your clients, or be a role model for other people in your life. But when you look in the mirror. You're still sometimes clashing with that inner critic where you're looking in the mirror, you think a negative thought, and then you're like, wait, no, I don't wanna be thinking the negative thought, because you're already self-aware and you realize you don't want that to be happening, and then you're upset at yourself for having that thought. And it just becomes this shame spiral. And this inner dialogue is just not where you want it to be. It's just not working yet. And then when you go out and you're interacting with other people. You're still sometimes a little bit in your head and you're thinking, what are they thinking? How are they perceiving me? And it really holds you back from just being your authentic, confident, true self because you're a little bit in your head and still having this inner dialogue with yourself. People often say the stupidest, the stupidest things. Every single time someone shares a new comment with me, I'm just like, why are people so stupid sometimes? I love people, I really do, but this is just so dumb. Why would you say this? the most obvious one is people are like, oh my God, you look amazing. Did you lose weight? Or they might say, you'd be so pretty if you just lost a little weight. Or, oh my gosh, you're so lucky. You can eat whatever you want and stay in shape like that. You don't even look like you had a baby. Just on and on and on. And people don't understand the nuance and the impact of these comments. Even if they think that they're saying it as a compliment or they're well intentioned. And then when these things come out. It affects us. Of course it affects us because it's specifically about us, and the culture that we live in places so much of our worth on our bodies and the way that we look, and we've gotten that message from a very young age. So we can be hurt by it. We can be shocked or embarrassed, or just taken off guard and you don't know what to say. Sometimes it doesn't really even feel like a big deal in the moment, but then later on you're thinking about it and you're like, oh wait, I can't believe this person said that. And you don't often want to make a big deal out of it, so you try to just brush it off and kind of keep the peace. And then other times it's just so inappropriate and you might be boiling inside, but then you still don't know what to say. And you also know that the person who says something is not gonna fully get it. Or maybe you're just changing the subject and pretending that it didn't happen. But whatever it is, this comment usually lingers a little bit. It could be hours, it could be days. It could be something that kind of stays in the back of your head for a while. And then suddenly without even realizing it, you're questioning yourself again, your body, your worth. Am I actually delusional for trying to love myself? Or maybe I should just lose weight or fix this thing like everybody else does, and I know how frustrating this is because you've been working so hard to just feel good in your skin and feel positive and speak nicely to yourself. You're unlearning all that shame. And you actually want to believe that you don't have to change your body to be worthy because you logically know that, but you don't always feel it. You've come this long way on your journey, and sometimes it just really is this sucky feeling of like, why am I not over this yet? I should be further along. I know this feeling. I couldn't even be talking about this if I hadn't gone through this. So believe me, I've been there. I know how it feels when someone says something about your body and you're just speechless, and then you walk away thinking of a million things that you could have or you should have said. I remember many years ago. I mean, I'm a woman in this world, so I've had lots of comments on my body, but one of the things that just came up for me right now is that one time I was standing at a bus stop waiting for a bus and a neighbor just walks up to me and went, let me guess you're about three months pregnant. And this was a man. I was literally so shocked. I bet my mouth dropped open. I'm like, no, I'm not pregnant. And I actually think I might've said something to him like, you shouldn't ever say that to a woman. But even though I said something, I still walked away feeling disempowered. I still walked away feeling like maybe I should have said something else, or maybe there's something wrong with my body. And the truth is, is that this is all just taking up too much brain space for us. It's taking away our power and giving it to other people and their opinions. It's just the freaking worst to have those awkward conversations. And then on top of it, feel like we weren't really expressing ourselves the way that we want to, whether or not they get it or not. So I'm gonna share five badass empowered things that you can actually say when somebody comments on your body. But there's one little caveat I need you to know. If you haven't fully embraced your body yet, which is totally understandable, and what we are working on here. If there's still that little part of you that flinches at your reflection or secretly believes that smaller equals better, like you see the beauty in other people and all different body sizes, but then when you look in the mirror, you're not really giving yourself that same kindness and compassion. If you haven't shifted those deeply ingrained beliefs about beauty and bodies and our identity, then no matter what you say or how you learn to say something, it's not going to land in the way that you want it to. It's not gonna be as powerful. It's not gonna create that ripple effect because your energy is gonna be speaking something different and you could still walk away thinking something about yourself and that's the most important thing is really how you see yourself. It doesn't really matter what you say or how cool you look, it's what am I walking away from this experience feeling about myself? And what I'm talking about is not toxic positivity. It's not good vibes only. That's not real life. But there is an energy that comes from being deeply rooted in your values, an energy that people feel when you truly know who you are and what you stand for. It's like this unshakeable presence and confidence. It's quiet, it's clear, it's direct, and it can be kind. That's what I teach. I really believe that these things can be very kindly expressed. I'll give you an example. So this probably sounds funny, but I honestly can't remember the last time that somebody commented on my body, and that is because of these energetic boundaries that I have created over time. And believe me, it wasn't always like this, and it doesn't mean that I'm immune to it, that's for sure. But it just does not happen nearly as often. Couple years ago, I was out for my birthday at one of my favorite restaurants with my friends. It was amazing food, and we had cocktails and it was just such an amazing night. And at the end of the night I said to my friends,"Wait, nobody talked about dieting or being bad, quote unquote for eating dessert. That's crazy. Like What's up with that guys? I love that." And they looked at each other and they just laugh. And they're like, yeah, well we don't really talk about that stuff around you. And I was like, oh, wow. That is what boundaries are for. That's the boundaries doing its job. Not because I, got mad at someone or corrected anyone, but because people really feel and understand what I stand for. And of course my friends who I'm close with, in a one-to-one situation or when we're sharing things that are more vulnerable, they share with me how they feel about their body and dieting and Botox and all of these things. I'm always so happy to be that safe place for people where they don't feel judged. I'm not the body positivity police or anything like that, but being in that environment where people are like, actually, this is Becca's space, or this is a space that Becca is in and I'm deciding that I don't really wanna talk about this right now is incredible. I'm literally creating a new culture and reality for myself by creating that boundary that is really good and healthy for me. And you can create that reality for yourself too. And it starts on the inside with your own relationship to your body, your worth, and what you actually want to believe about yourself. This is what I walk my clients through step by step in The New Sexy Mastermind, especially in the second and the third phase where we break free from societal BS and start to shift their limiting beliefs so that they can show up differently in the world and wake up, walk through the world with new confidence, see themselves and other people with a completely new lens. I always talk about it as like feeling in love where everything looks better, everything tastes better. It's just such a incredible experience. And then the third step where I help you reinvent you from the inside out, and that is the embodiment aspect. When we really create a reality that matches this new mindset shift, and that is when things become real. This real change, it doesn't start with what you just say to others. It starts with how you speak to yourself. But before that, what you believe about yourself. How you stand in your truth, how you breathe through the moment and come back to your power and respond in alignment with who you really are. I love this quote by Viktor Frankl, he said, between stimulus and response, is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response, and in our response lies our growth and our freedom. So with that, I'm going to share with you the five badass ways that you can respond when somebody comments on your body. So the first one is a direct boundary. This is the most assertive one. You could say something like,"Hey, I'm sure you didn't mean anything by it, but I really don't appreciate comments about my body, and I'd like you to stop." Full stop. You can use this when you feel confident and grounded and clear and you wanna shut it down quickly. When I shared this with one of the rounds of The New Sexy people were a little hesitant about this one because they're like, I think it comes off a little not confident because you're like, Hey, I don't wanna talk about that. And it feels like you're sharing a vulnerability. But what I really believe about this response is that it's a very direct and clear boundary, which is amazing. And when you are deeply feeling that confidence, other people are gonna feel it as well. It doesn't come off as insecure or quote unquote, too sensitive, which I don't even like that at all, But it really is the energy that you say this with. And also, it's okay to be hurt by people's body. Comments. It's okay to be vulnerable. It's okay to show your vulnerabilities and your sensitivities. It's a beautiful part of who you are. And we don't need to walk around just faking it till we make it and looking confident all the time, but not feeling it. It's important for us to share our true selves with the world. And feeling safe to do so, is that next level. So that's the first one, the direct boundary. And you can do it with kindness when you say,"Hey, I'm sure you didn't mean anything by it." The second one is a value statement, and a lot of people really like this one. So someone else says the comment, and you can be like,"I don't know. It's really not cool to comment on somebody else's body. You never know how they might receive it. Let's talk about something else." You can use this when you want to educate gently and show your values without feeling confrontational. And that way. You're just putting it out there that, yeah, this is actually not a great thing. Just to say in general, it's kind of what I said to the guy at the bus stop like,"Hey, you shouldn't ever say that to women." You don't know how people are gonna actually receive it. And so it actually does take away the focus on whoever the body comment was about and just makes it this generalized statement. The third one is a loving friendship redirection. This is for someone who is a friend, a loved one. You can say,"you know, I love you, but I'm really not talking about bodies like that these days. Can we make a deal to not talk about those things around each other? I think it would be helpful for both of us." That way, it really comes off as very loving and kind. It's for somebody that you care about and you wanna keep that relationship intact, but just shift the dynamic and shift the conversation. The fourth one is education or an invitation to education. You could say something like,"I've been learning a lot about having a better relationship with my body and body confidence in general, and I've realized that commenting on people's bodies really can do so much harm. Can we change the subject? Unless you wanna talk about what I've learned, I'm always happy to share." That way you open the door without feeling pushy. And if they wanna have a deeper conversation, then they know that you're always there, or you can have it even at a later time. Maybe it will peak some curiosity. We also need to realize that we're not responsible to educate the world on this, and it actually doesn't work. What really makes the most difference is you changing your relationship with yourself and showing up in that way as a role model, not telling people what to do. Most people will reject that, push that off, not wanna listen to you, whatever. Some people might listen, but we don't want to walk around the world feeling that burden of having to educate everyone. It doesn't serve them and it doesn't serve you. The fifth one is a very assertive boundary. If the person keeps pushing it, I'd be like, dude, so funny that I think, dude, right away,"dude, you're really pushing it. I'm really not interested in having this conversation. I'll have to leave if we keep talking about this," and this is when they're really not getting it and you just need to hold a firm line. So now that you have them, let me just quickly go over the list. One, that's direct boundary. Hey, I'm sure you didn't mean anything by it, but I don't appreciate comments about my body." The second one, a value statement."It's really not cool to comment on somebody else's body." Three, the loving friendship redirection. Four, the education or invitation to education. Or five, the very assertive boundary. Now that you have them, say them out loud, let them sit in your body, see how they feel. Try to see which ones fit for you and how you can personalize them based on your own personality and the situations that you have found yourself in. So let's say we're working together. What you and I actually have to uncover together is how to shift your beliefs about your body so you can authentically show up and be actually confident in your response so that it's powerful for them and it doesn't throw you off or ruin your day or change the way you see yourself. One of the biggest misconceptions about body confidence is that we just need to put a smile on, put a cute outfit on, fake it till we make it. But it's not true because, it doesn't work. So many people, most people in this world are faking it till they make it. They look and appear confident on the outside, but inside they're still clashing with their inner critic. When you see someone who is being over the top and acting conceited or egotistical, self-centered, that's not confidence. That's actually a mask for deeper insecurities, and they're using this way of behaving or looking to control the way that other people perceive them. When you fake it till you make it, you might be doing all these things that you're already doing, like avoiding conversations or trying quickly to change the subject or getting mad or embarrassed, letting it ruin your day. or just saying something outrageous or maybe mean because it just comes out, or you're trying to be funny. Because you don't want other people to see that it actually bothers you. But like I said before, it really just doesn't serve you. It doesn't serve them, and you walk away feeling like shit and going over and over in your head about it. But when you have real confidence, firstly, you get these comments so much less, I promise you. And if they come along, you know exactly what to say and you are so much less affected by it, even if it's annoying, because I don't think it's ever really fun to feel objectified or to have someone point something out about your body that you feel uncomfortable with, but it's not gonna actually change the way you see yourself. So if this resonated with you, Then I want you to sign up for The Glow Up, which I haven't even announced anywhere else, but you guys are my podcast listeners. You mean so much to me. I wanna share it with you. It's a four day free experience for women to glow the fuck up and do it from a place of real self-love in a way that really sticks. Once it goes live tomorrow, I'm going to put it in the show notes and I want you to join me so that you can start to really uncover, and shift these beliefs and embody this woman you are becoming. It's gonna be incredible, just like The Visibility Code. Like I said, this shit works fast and people think that it's gonna be hard, but it's actually so much harder to see yourself through the lens that society has given us. This is gonna be an opportunity for joy, for freedom, for feeling good in and about your body. Because it's your birthright. You deserve to feel good in your body, and I would love to guide you through it. Thank you so much for being here. I hope this is helpful. If you're still here, please rate the podcast, review it, Share this with one woman who really needs this. Maybe someone told you recently that somebody commented on their body, or you just notice that this could be really, really powerful for someone in your life. Let's spread the love. And keep this Body Image Revolution going. I love you all. Have a great day. I will see you in The Glow Up.