Stop Outsourcing Your Power — From Body Image to Business Strategy

In this solo episode, I’m breaking down how perfectionism, self-worth, and body image are all connected — and how these patterns can quietly hold entrepreneurs back. I share what unfolded in a recent session with a client that completely reframed how she was showing up in her business. We talk about separating your identity from your work, releasing perfectionism, and growing your business from a place of deep self-worth.

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Transcript

Rebecca Sigala: 0:00

Hi, beautiful souls. Welcome back to the Body Image Revolution. It's Rebecca for a solo episode and I think it's gonna be a pretty quick episode today, but very important. It's something I've been thinking a lot about recently and that's how we as women, as humans, actually often tie our self-worth to external things. And it comes up a lot when we work on our body confidence and our body image. But not just that, because when we talk about self-worth and deeply feeling that we are innately worthy regardless of any external factors, that doesn't just change the way we see our bodies. It can change everything. Our relationships, our parenting, our spirituality, our careers, our businesses, and that's exactly what I want to touch on today. A couple weeks ago, I was coaching one of my amazing clients in The New Sexy. And I'm really excited to share with you what came up because it was absolutely mind blowing and it's going to be so helpful, especially when we are working on untying our worth with external things. And if you're an entrepreneur, I want you to stay until the end because I have something really fun and exciting to offer you that's actually ending this week. So anyway, as I got on this coaching call, I had this little intuitive feeling that some of the people were holding back on coaching questions, perhaps because they thought that it wasn't super connected to body confidence specifically. So I got on and I told them, ask me anything. I believe everything is connected to our self image and to our bodies because the way we see ourselves is how we see the world. And the bodies we live in? Well, they go with us everywhere we go. So one of my clients popped up and she was like, well, I've been really wanting to ask you about business stuff, but I didn't know if it was totally related. I'm like, let's go girl. This is so my jam. I love talking about businesses and entrepreneurship. And especially when it comes to women taking up space and unapologetically sharing their gifts with the world, because that's really what so much of entrepreneurship is all about. Right before she brought this up, she was actually telling me that she was feeling disconnected and disassociated from her body. And I was like, okay, well we've got tools for that. We can go into that, but what's really going on in your day-to-day life? What's actually happening? So she told me that every day she was waking up and she wanted to be focusing on her business, and she had a million things that she wanted to get done. She'd end up focusing on one thing and taking so much more time than she wanted, and then not getting other things done, like working on a client project way too long because she wanted it to be perfect and she kept second guessing herself. Or she would post on Instagram, but then hate it and delete it and think about it, and then try to make something new, but then it wouldn't work. Or work on hours on her website or logo, things that might be important in the long run, but definitely weren't bringing in the income or making the forward movement that she wanted to be making. And I was like, oh my gosh. I know exactly where you're at. I have been there. Like she said, that she was struggling to get all these things that she wanted to get done and she was struggling with being consistent and also struggling with showing up on social media because she kept second guessing herself there. And you guys, this is not someone who is afraid to put herself out there. It's not someone who's lacking confidence. She loves being on camera. She isn't afraid of attention. She likes meeting new people and traveling around the world. She believes in herself. She's super passionate about her business, and she helps empower other women. And yet, this is what her day was looking like. And what we uncovered through the coaching was that there was a couple different things going on. Number one, which is something that I'm sure you can relate to, is perfectionism. I actually have an episode, further back, where I talk a lot about perfectionism and how body image are connected and how diet culture taught us that perfectionism is the way to go. While really it takes away our self trust and it takes away our power and it keeps us stuck. And for businesses specifically, it's one of the biggest time suckers and one of the biggest obstacles to creating the impact and income that you desire. But then, what's actually underneath that perfectionism? And I think Elizabeth Gilbert says this perfectly. She says, perfectionism is just a high end couture version of fear, just fear in fancy shoes, and a mink coat pretending to be elegant when actually it's just terrified, because underneath that shiny veneer perfectionism is nothing more than a deep existential angst that says again and again. I am not good enough and I will never be good enough. Oof. Like how true is that? and this just makes so much sense because this client that I was coaching was not being lazy. It wasn't that she didn't care. It's not that she didn't believe in what she does. She wants everything to be perfect. She cares so much. She wants her clients to have a perfect experience. She wants to convey her message perfectly. She wants every deliverable to be perfect. Every social media post to be beautiful and compelling and perfect. It doesn't sound so bad. You're like, well, that's great. Isn't that good? She just holds herself to a high standard, right? Well, yes, and what we uncovered was because she cares so much about her business, especially being a creative entrepreneur, it was almost like she was equating herself to her business and not just herself, but her worth. Because if things didn't look perfect, that meant something about her. If clients weren't coming in, that meant she wasn't talented enough. She wasn't good enough at what she did. If she wasn't making the money she wanted to be, then she was being irresponsible, and the list went on and on, and it's so understandable. I think we all have this with different things in our lives. But the thing is, and I really want you to understand this and know this deeply in your bones, your worth is innate. You are worthy because you exist, because you were born, because God created you and put you on this earth. You don't need to prove anything to anybody in order to be good or to be enough. And then when we get stuck in that trap, that's when our confidence becomes shaky. Think about it like with our body image, when we make our body size or our weight means something about our worth or our value. When we let the scale define us, when we let beauty standards have all that power to decide whether or not we're allowed to feel beautiful that day, this is the exact same thing. We're outsourcing our power. We're waiting for the clients, the money, the external validation, the external success to make us feel that we're good enough, as business owners, but also as people. And it's a very normal, but also a very tricky place to be in because when we outsource that power, when we make every sale, every new client, how much money we made that month means something about who we are. Then nothing will ever, ever, ever be enough. Just like our bodies, when we attach our worth to our appearance or our weight, there will always be something more to perfect. Once you lose weight, then you have to tone. Once you tone, then you need this, then you need to be tanned. Then you need the nose job, the boob job, it never ends. And it's not the unwavering confidence that we desire. It's conditional confidence. And the biggest thing that you can do for yourself is become aware that you're doing that. Because even just that awareness makes such a huge difference. And believe me, I'm human and I'm not immune to it either. But this is something that I've worked on a lot over the years and when I got my first business coach years ago, I remember that she told me something that actually really offended me. She said, stop treating your business like your hobby. And it really relates to this because I was doing exactly what this client was doing. I was focusing on things that I wanted to focus on. I was more motivated when it felt good when, I had that external validation versus deeply knowing that my worth was always there and the inevitable success, was there as well. And if I was able to have that, then I could treat my business as a business and not like a hobby separate from me and from my worth. Of course, I'm a part of my business, but it's not who I am. I'm just as worthy if tomorrow I woke up and I decided that I wanted to shut it all down. If I was no longer a body confidence coach or a boudoir photographer, if I decided I wanted to go write poetry in the forest or get a job in high tech, my worth as a human wouldn't change. And while I wouldn't choose that, just even knowing that gives me strength through all the ups and downs and the ebbs and flows of business and of life. Because when our relationship with ourselves is good and solid, that is the foundation that we need to get us through anything. So when I helped my client realize that, number one, she was falling into this perfectionist trap of black and white thinking, and number two, it was because she was tying her self-worth and her identity to her business. I asked her what it would look like if she decided to let that go. What if her business was separate from her and it needed to function, it needed to make a profit, it needed to grow, and it wasn't dependent on how she felt about herself moment to moment. And what would it look like to let go of the perfectionism in order to do that? Because perfectionism is the biggest fucking time sucker. So we collaborated on some ideas and what that would look like. And how she would show up, softening the perfectionism and softening that voice in her head that she's not enough and she needs to be more disciplined and she needs to be more responsible and all of those things. Because when you soften that, that really helps you focus on the things that matter. Because if you're focused on everything being perfect and not being enough, then you really miss the point of what you're trying to accomplish, and this is a perfect example of that, because she was, focusing on all those voices in her mind, and then she wasn't getting done what she needed to get done. So how can you bring softness and fun and aliveness to what you're doing in order to actually accomplish your goals? And not spend hours working on a project that you could have finished in one hour. Or keep second guessing yourself about what you're gonna post. I'm like, girl, isn't it funny how you just said that you weren't sure this was related to body confidence? It all comes down to how we see ourselves. It all comes down to how deeply worthy we feel we are. We've got to feel that deep in our bones, and of course that's gonna ebb and flow, but that has to be the foundation that we keep coming back to or we get lost. So since this call, this client has gotten more done in her business than she has gotten done in months. She feels more clarity about her goals and where she's going. It just lit a fire under her ass in the best possible way. And this isn't the first time that I've seen this. So many of my clients see these kind of results. They start growing businesses. They start businesses. They make more money because, together, what we do is we uncover what's really going on. I help them let go of all the brain chatter and the societal BS that's getting in the way, and then we create a plan to move forward while we're working on these foundational beliefs, that they are enough, that they are worthy exactly as they are, and nothing can change that. One of my clients, in the last round of The New Sexy, she finally started her business after years of going back and forth on it. And when she got to that point, she was like, I trust myself. Like I know I can do this and I know whatever comes up, I'm going to figure it out along the way. Because she worked on the way that she saw herself. My other client, Nicole, stepped into her next level, CEO energy, leading clients more powerfully, more authentically, with more clarity than ever before. Because she changed the way she saw herself. And another client, Sarah, she was over 40 years old, and she decided to switch her career, take a huge risk. And it ended up almost doubling her income because she changed the way she saw herself. All of this happened because they made the decision to learn how to fully embrace themselves and their bodies exactly as they are. Knowing that their worth is innate, and stepping into their power, and allowing themselves to be seen for who they truly are. So that's why I want to invite all of you who are female entrepreneurs to this incredible three-day masterclass that I'm doing for the very first time called The Visibility Code. This is only my second time that I'm talking about this on the podcast, but unfortunately enrollment is ending this week. So if you are interested, go to the show notes right now and click on the link and sign up. It's only$97. And it's for female business owners who desire to unlock the confidence to show up fully, consistently, boldly, and unapologetically in their businesses. We're gonna be starting on May 4th and everything's going to be recorded, so if you can't make it to all the lives, that's totally fine. It's going to be jam packed with incredible workshops, resources, challenges, and even a powerful framework to create 30 days of aligned content that just feels so much more like you and clear and brings that next level version of you so that you can grow your business in a way that just feels so damn good. I'm so passionate about this because after being in business for 12 years now, I'm telling you there's no business strategy more powerful than stepping into that version of yourself that feels safe to be seen as your true self. And believe me, I'm all about strategy and hard work and marketing and all of that. But the more you know and trust yourself, that's when everything really falls into place. So don't hesitate. Please join us. If you feel like your next level is just around the corner, but something is maybe holding you back a little bit from getting to that place. Let's get into it and let's uncover that all together and make magic happen. The link is in the show notes. And I want you all to remember, you are worthy as you are. You are worthy because you exist, and I'm so glad that you do. Have a wonderful day, my loves. See you on the other side.