The Body Image Revolution
The Body Image Revolution
Loving Your Body When You Feel Like S**t With Milcah
This conversation with my client Milcah wasn’t originally meant to be a podcast episode, but it was so good that we wanted to share it with you! We had this call at the end of Milcah’s experience in my virtual group coaching mastermind, The New Sexy, so that she could process and celebrate her incredible mindset shifts and accomplishments over the 12 weeks. Being pregnant with hyperemesis during a war in Israel presented some unique challenges. She shares how she navigated everything, showed up for herself in The New Sexy, and walked away with a newfound love and confidence in her body exactly as it is, completely ditching a diet culture mindset that she had been trying to let go of for years.
For more details about pre-enrollment for The New Sexy, contact me at rebecca@rebeccasigala.com
I would love to hear from you on Instagram!
https://www.instagram.com/rebeccasigalaboudoir
Hello, everyone. Welcome to The Body Image Revolution. Today, we have a fun conversation for you that I had with my beautiful and incredible client, Milcah. We did not plan for this to be a podcast episode, but with her permission, we turned it into one because it was just so special. This conversation happened after she had just finished her 12 weeks of The New Sexy, which is my 12 week program to help women fall in love with what they see when they look in the mirror and feel sexy AF for life. And I have to say that pre enrollment is currently open for this round, which is actually starting in September. And it has lots of fun bonuses. This is actually a bonus that Milcah received when she signed up for the mastermind. She received a one on one call with me and she decided to use it after The New Sexy to help her process and celebrate the experience as a whole. So during this conversation, we took the time to talk about everything as she struggled with a really physically draining pregnancy, where she was sick and nauseous almost 24/7. Milcah is in her forties. She is married. She's running a household of five girls already and working and just going through everything that has come with being in Israel. In this war. There's so much that goes along with that. She lives in a ultra Orthodox Haredi community. And I absolutely love that. I love that there are always women from all walks of life in The New Sexy. Just having that and having that diversity really helps build the community and it enhances the healing. It's just so much more potent because a lot of the body image wounds that we have have to do with other women, feeling like we're constantly in comparison or that we're in competition with them. And when we actually sit down and we work towards this common goal together, we are always shown how much we actually have in common and we learn so much from each other. Milcah, you'll see in the conversation, wasn't able to make it to many of the group coaching calls, like the live virtual group coaching calls. And instead she really dove into the modules and she also listened to the recordings, but the modules have videos, worksheets, meditations, journal prompts, and just this whole beautiful framework to really implement everything that they learn into their everyday lives. So she came to the live calls when she could, but she focused mostly on the course part of it and walked away with a completely different mindset. Just before The New Sexy, she had been in a dieting program to lose weight, even though in the past she was always super body positive. She found herself again, engulfed in this diet culture mindset and not fully even realizing that until she started to see a really negative impact that it had on her. And the way that she felt when she looked in the mirror and the way she was just feeling about her body and herself in general. So through The New Sexy, she was able to really, truly let go of diet culture so that she could take herself out of a shame cycle that she had started to get into again, feeling badly about herself and her body and her choices in general. And now she's able to make really empowered decisions that feel good for her and love her body exactly as it is right now. Even with this pregnancy where she wasn't always feeling physically good in her body. It was beautiful to see the way that throughout this process, she was dedicated to treating herself with such kindness and compassion. And doing that really helped her change the way that she saw herself in general so that she is never again going to resort to dieting and restriction to feel better about herself. She already sees her worth and now she can pass that down to her five beautiful daughters. Yes. Five plus one more child on the way. I hope you enjoy listening to Milcah. I'm sure you'll be just as inspired as I was. She has such a beautiful heart and I'm just so happy and excited for her that she gave herself The New Sexy, even when it wasn't the"perfect time". And it was actually exactly what she needed.
Milcah Grossman:Hi there.
How are you? How
Milcah Grossman:are you? I'm okay. How are you feeling? Much better than I was, that's for sure. I'm off the anti nausea medication, actually eating food, which is great. Very tired because my iron is low and I'm hot. Oh,
Rebecca Sigala:that's so hard.
Milcah Grossman:How many weeks are you? I'm 19. Wow. Goes fast. Does go fast.
Rebecca Sigala:I'm so happy that we've got a time to talk before your in-laws come. Tell me, first, is there something specific that you came with or did you want me to, to lead the conversation?
Milcah Grossman:So you can lead. The only thing is I just wanted to say, first of all, I'm noticing a lot of gains in a lot of places like where things were bothering me before I'm just like whatever I'm, definitely out of the diet mentality, which is so awesome It's so good. Somebody said to me today She's like, I know a really good plus size place on the other side of town if you're interested I'm like, why would I need that? I'm wearing maternity clothes. What's your problem?
She's
Milcah Grossman:like, yeah, but you're gonna need plus size after i'm like first of all if I do i'll figure it out myself Thanks, and like, ma hak- like, why are you saying something about my body, my thighs, my body? I'm like, why are you saying anything about my body? מה אכפת לך And it didn't bother you very much? No, I didn't care. But I was just like, why are you even saying something about my body? I don't know if you heard, I sent you a voice note. It was somebody was saying, oh, your belly's so big. Your belly's gonna be so huge at the end. I'm like. What do you even care? Listen, Hashem is is building my body and I'm not shaping my stomach at night And I'm not taking like I'm not taking suggestions. So yeah, yeah, you
Rebecca Sigala:know, yeah Were you able to articulate something?
Milcah Grossman:Yeah, I told her that I said Hashem's building my body and you don't have to worry about it And I don't have to worry about it, and it's fine. You know I was like, I think people should just talk less about other people's bodies.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. Like, hello, mind your own business. Do you think that that was something that you gained from The New Sexy? Oh yeah, 100%. You could just say that.
Milcah Grossman:100%. 100%. Wow. And I had some Somebody tell me today, it's so funny because I have these two comments within, the plus size comment within two minutes of somebody telling me she's really young, she's 21 and she's very, very cute and she's like, you have the most beautiful stomach ever, I hope I have a stomach so beautiful, you're so beautiful and I was like, it's so yummy that she said that I am choosing to stick with that. Yeah, I am not. I am choosing to ignore the stupid comments and I'm sticking with that, you
Rebecca Sigala:know, so much. And it's so interesting how, if someone can just give a general compliment like that, you're not talking about your body, you're not talking about a specific part. It's just like, You're beautiful. You're
Milcah Grossman:beautiful. It was so nice. I felt so good.
Rebecca Sigala:So do you kind of want to have this be a culmination of your experience and kind of process it? Okay. Yeah. I would love that. Yeah. Okay. So do you remember what it was like before we spoke? What, where were you
Milcah Grossman:at? So before we spoke, I, first of all, I did not realize I was expecting, and I was, I was really trying to get out of the loop of this diet thing that I had gotten sucked into. It was really toxic. I didn't even see it as so toxic. Now when I was looking and I was talking about it on the chat also I was like that is ridiculous. That's really messed up. Yeah, when you brought that to my attention, I
Rebecca Sigala:was just like, I am so happy that you're not involved in that anymore.
Milcah Grossman:Yeah, it was so like, just like chucked it out, like, no, no, no, no, this is not healthy, and this is not good. And, and it was you know, even I was like, on, off, on, off, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, before we talked, and I was like, one minute, no way, this is narrischkeit, you know? More than narrischkeit. It's, it's dangerous and it steals joy. It's not, you know,
Rebecca Sigala:Really dangerous. I don't think people realize the body positivity thing is not just this cute little, let's be positive kind of thing for me. It's really important. Yeah, it saves lives.
Milcah Grossman:It really does. And also I'm thinking like, not only me, it's all my daughters in the house, you know, and it affects, even if you're not saying anything, it affects, it definitely affects.
Rebecca Sigala:Okay, so you had just come out of that program and you didn't know you were pregnant. What was the effects of coming out of that program? How are you relating to your body?
Milcah Grossman:So, As I was coming out, I felt like finishing that I felt a bit like a failure because, you know, we're all supposed to have these wonderful, you know, but it's so not sustainable.
Rebecca Sigala:That's exactly what those programs. Yeah. The diet culture weight loss programs. That's what they do. They, they, it's all shame based, so, right. first of all, the minute you leave, if you don't have us, then what are you gonna do with that?
Milcah Grossman:What are gonna do? You're like, yeah. It's like you're, you've left the fold, you're in the ditch. You're like, you know Exactly. and then, if it didn't work for you, then you feel like a failure. Right. Exactly. And they show you all these befores and afters, and they have all these things and you know, you know, it's the whole mind game around it, but it's not, it's totally not sustainable,
Rebecca Sigala:you felt like you wish that your body had changed and it didn't.
Milcah Grossman:Yeah. And like, look these people did it and why can't I, hold on? But when I was thinking about it, There was so many things in the, chats and in the support calls and whatever where people were like, Uh, I didn't and I ate and whatever, like, okay, you're off the rails, but get back on and whatever, and it's like, No. The reason why all these people are calling in, people crying and, all the shame around it, and it's like, No, honey, because we gotta eat. Nobody's living on a thousand calories a day, running a busy life and household. I can't believe that. You can't. You know? I can't believe that. And, like, no exercise and blah blah blah. That's nuts. No way, of course, I feel like it was designed to, it creates failure and then you're more sucked in and you're deeper and deeper and deeper. That's what I feel like.
Rebecca Sigala:Right.
Milcah Grossman:Yeah.
Rebecca Sigala:It's a life sucker.
Milcah Grossman:Yeah, it really is. It's like everything is around the food all the time. I'm
Rebecca Sigala:actually, after this call, I'm sitting down to write another, either a post or podcast or something, but I'm going to talk about the shame based marketing because. I think it's extremely harmful especially when people are not aware of it.
Milcah Grossman:Right, right. And now people are using all these diabetic drugs for weight loss. I saw the Kupat Cholim here. I was standing in line at the pharmacy and there was a lady standing there crying at the, at the checkout, whatever, in front of the pharmacist because she needed the medication because she has out of control diabetes. And there was none to be had, not in Beitar, not in Tzur Hadassah, not in Beit Shemesh. They had nothing to offer her because people were buying it for weight loss. And she said, the doctor says I have to call an ambulance if I can't get the medication. And the guy's like, do you want me to call the ambulance? Or do you want to get the secretary? Like, who's going to call the ambulance? I was like, hey, the world's gone crazy. That's insane. So messed up. So messed up. And that because This is where you were at. This is where you're at. And that's not where you are right now, which is so
Rebecca Sigala:amazing. Oh my gosh. Oh my goodness. I even saw it over the weeks and how just little sparks kind of started entering and then you're like, oh my gosh this happened and this is how I responded Things start to shift.
Milcah Grossman:I feel so much stronger around it like so much stronger around this This is this diet culture nonsense is not for me And feeling like I have to do xyz movement every day. That's enough for me. I do what I feel good about
Rebecca Sigala:If you think about the program and the course, what was the most significant piece of it that you consciously know helped this process for you.
Milcah Grossman:So I feel like the journaling woke up so many things in me. It just like that thing that act of taking the time to sit down and write. Yeah. And be conscious. And the meditation that you did live on the calls, I wasn't on very many calls physically, because I was so out of it, but I listened to all the recordings, even if I had to split it up over bits and pieces, and just that thing of I'm coming back in touch with my body, and I'm like really digging in, to write, to take the time and space to write, to reflect, to really think, to really notice and to block that out for myself and just to activate my brain by writing it out. Some things came out, I don't remember specific examples right now, but there was things that came out and I was like, oh my goodness, I was walking around with that? I didn't even know! You know, it's so like, we, we pick up so much stuff from the environment around us. That makes me want a journal right now. I'm like, I don't thinking about how to finish and go home with a journal. So good.
Rebecca Sigala:I work in an office full of ladies. Do you remember like, the first wow moment or revelation or shift?
Milcah Grossman:I think, I'm thinking the first, I don't know, everything that's kind of a blur of like blah. I'm nauseous. But one thing was discussing this whole diet shtick on the chat and I was like, as I'm saying it out in front of other people who are on this journey, I was like, Oh my god, what has it done to my brain, what is this and just being like, about
Rebecca Sigala:the diet program that you were,
Milcah Grossman:about that diet program, it just blew me away, as I'm saying it out loud, not out loud, but you know, whatever it was, I'm writing it out in front of other people who are in this process. Yeah. I was just like, holy shit, what?
Rebecca Sigala:Wow. You didn't even, you didn't even realize the extent of it until,
Milcah Grossman:yeah, it's so sneaky, you're Yeah, and going through the modules and I remember also writing when I got to the the photos all the different photos feeling like this time. I remember the first time I did it feeling like well I can give it to everybody else but not to myself and this time feeling like yeah, and I'm also gorgeous, no matter what size I am, no matter what shape I'm in, no matter, it's great.
Rebecca Sigala:I remember working with you years ago. And I feel like you were really in a place where you could totally see the beauty in other women. Yeah, like you were just you were all about empowering women and you still are, you know, right, working with women in birth and you're dancing and all of the things that you do. But. I guess, do you feel like this was the opening to really fully apply it to your self?
Milcah Grossman:I feel like, yeah, I feel like something like it opened up and I'm like, I also see myself that way. Curvy, thin, big, whatever shape I'm at it's all so beautiful and powerful and awesome and amazing. That was such a gift. I remember like tearing up that's such a gift. It really got into the heart this time. You know, there's really whatever. And I was thinking about it. I was thinking about it in dance class. There's somebody in my class who's 21. It's her first baby and she's a week ahead of me and she's a teeny tiny little belly. And I got Oh, got like a belly. And I'm like, look, I got like a belly going here, and she was like, Oh my gosh, I also want a belly. It's not fair. I'm so tiny. I'm like, honey, I was like, you're beautiful like this. And you'll be beautiful. And subsequent pregnancies like me when you have a belly right away. I'm like, she's just what she thinks
Rebecca Sigala:it should be or what other people I'm like,
Milcah Grossman:there's no should. Everything is gorgeous. You're gorgeous. I'm gorgeous. And she's gorgeous. And we're all gorgeous.
Rebecca Sigala:I love how you, you take things, you integrate them right away, and you also have this beautiful ripple effect where you're confident enough to say these things and to share them with other people.
Milcah Grossman:To go ahead and say it, yeah. And she was like, yeah, I didn't think about it like that. She's like, I just remember my mother got big fast. I'm like, your mother got big fast, honey. You're the first of nine children. Pregnancies that you remember are like right to pregnancies. I'm like, and that's gorgeous and perfect for her where she is. And you're gorgeous and perfect where you are. Yeah. Like, it's great. It's all great and beautiful.
Rebecca Sigala:Can you share with me some challenges that you had throughout the 12 weeks?
Milcah Grossman:Well some of the challenges that I had was just showing up properly because I was just a mess of nauseousness and just whatever. I was just in such a blur. Now if you just think about it,
Rebecca Sigala:as a whole, all these things that you're, saying that you shifted without being at all the calls. So like, that's, that's incredible. That's what you wanted out of it.
Milcah Grossman:Yeah, right. Exactly. Exactly. And even though I wasn't on live, like to listen and to what, you know, whatever. But for me, that was the biggest challenge is just not functioning enough to be like fully present, but just to make the time for it one way or another. To get it in and, and drip it in was really, it was just so powerful. Um,
Rebecca Sigala:Cause you're giving a signal to your body and your brain that you're worthy of that time.
Milcah Grossman:Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah, I guess that's the thing. It's just to gift to myself that time to focus on it even when being in my body did not feel good because being in my body did not feel at all good. Like, I felt horrible. I can't explain that level of nausea, of hyperemesis. It just takes over everything. You can't sweep a floor and you can't bend over to put a load of laundry in is like, you know, I just would you know, I remember one time, I was like craving pizza and
pizza.
Milcah Grossman:Yeah. So I was craving pizza and pizza and pizza, so I started getting these store pizzas. One of my kids put the tray on the floor, and I couldn't get down to get, I just couldn't physically bend over to get, I was like, somebody has to pick this up so I can eat it, I can't, I can't get down. And to be in my body was such a yucky feeling, but to gift myself of that time and say, it's okay, and it's okay if you don't feel good now, it doesn't last forever, and even if it did, it's still okay. It's okay. Just. Be there. I think that
Rebecca Sigala:is so key. That is what it is, because yes, we go through struggles in life, and they're hard, but what makes it the hardest, I think, is the way that we relate to ourselves, and how we make that mean something about us, right? Exactly. And if it's in a negative way, it compounds the challenge and it becomes something that you internalize and you walk around with this shame and guilt and sadness because you're thinking of yourself a certain way.
Milcah Grossman:Right, exactly, exactly. And to just, I think that it really helped me to take that off. Even though, you know, everything was flying and I couldn't, I think I posted about it on the WhatsApp chat one time. I couldn't bend over the sink to like splash just used like a cloth in hot water. But I'm still being there for myself. And I'm taking my care of myself in the way that works for me right now. And when something else works, I'll do something else.
Rebecca Sigala:I feel like you are always constantly rising above your circumstances.
Milcah Grossman:Thank you. Yeah, it's something that I've worked very, I've worked very hard at, but the high of being able to do it. And to be able to, you know, it's such a, such a good thing to be able to say, you know what, this doesn't define who I am, this is something that's happening right now. Okay, I'll work within it, but it's not a definition.
Rebecca Sigala:Okay, so you mentioned in the beginning that you feel like you're a lot kinder to yourself. You feel like you're able to use your voice in situations where you might have not in the past, but because you have also very clear idea of what you believe, you know, I think that's what it is. It's like, yeah, I'm very clear about what my thoughts are on this and I feel totally comfortable sharing them and helping other people.
Yeah.
Rebecca Sigala:It seems like you've moved out of this diet culture mentality because you had the awareness like, okay, that was really not good for me. Yeah. Is there anything else in your day to day life that you're noticing that either flows a little easier or feels a little better?
Milcah Grossman:So yeah, definitely. One thing that I noticed, well, first of all, in terms of the eating, to just enjoy whatever my body's asking for at the time. Whether that's a huge whack of guacamole with chips, or chicken, or a salad, or just chocolate. Whatever it is, no shame, no judgment. I'm just like, this is awesome. It's so good. Wow. Just also to be there, to be there and not constantly judging or thinking of it, and just like, Oh, that was so good. I'm like, I now I've had enough. Okay, that's good. I'll come back for some more later and to be in touch with that. And it's given me a lot of also internal strength. And I feel like also body strength.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah.
Milcah Grossman:And also the thing of like, to dress how it feels good for me. And like to find clothes that feel good for me. I did a big order from Shein and I got such nice things. And to not also try to think about the size. Yeah, and not worry about my size and not worry about whatever to just make sure that it's something that fits and what looks like It would feel nice and whatever and it's different styles and I just like to play with it I don't really care what people think Somebody at work commenting. Are you okay for skirts? Your skirt's a little short. Are you like okay for skirts? I'm like, yeah, I got this skirt. I like it and thanks for so much for asking
Rebecca Sigala:Has your husband been involved in any of this process or noticed anything different about you?
Milcah Grossman:So not specifically involved because he's involved in a lot of his own stuff.
Um, he's recording and works
Milcah Grossman:at night. So he's just breezing in and out. But in terms of noticing, I have noticed that he gives me a lot more compliments. Which I think is just a result of confidence and me being aware of myself. And today he, sent me a message, and, we both work for the same company, so we have team chats together. And sometimes I tell him, I'm like, they can read the chats, please be careful. But he sent me, like, a dancing avocado, and he's like, you're the danciest avocado in town and the most beautiful sleepy beauty, because I call myself something, he said you're beautiful so I'm like, I'm sleepy beauty. I'm so tired. He's like the most beautiful sleepy beauty. And he's like, whatever. So it's just very cute.
Rebecca Sigala:Like it's very, very cute. You're projecting that confidence. I think so. There's the ability to be, I think, magnetic and also you're able to receive.
Milcah Grossman:Yeah. And I was just like, yeah. And I think I'm more light in terms of the interactions and taking compliments and you know, being more flirtatious or being more open to flirtation. Cause my husband is, tends to be a pretty serious guy, but I've noticed that he actually is more he's a little bit whatever, more flirty than I thought. And I just wasn't noticing it or open to it. So I'm open to it and I'll kind of like play with it, you know? Which is really, it's so interesting. Yeah, it's so interesting. That's a new development.
Rebecca Sigala:How long have you been married for?
Milcah Grossman:We have been married for a long, long time.
Rebecca Sigala:Isn't that cool that you get to like uncover new layers of yourself?
Milcah Grossman:It's so interesting. Yeah, and I see it's bringing out a playful side in him also, which is really, really funny. Because he's so not a playful type person. He's very serious and very, very organ-. He's very orderly. Aww, this is amazing. I didn't know about that. Yeah, it's bringing out a more sort of playful side, which is very cute.
Rebecca Sigala:Where do you want to go from here with your journey?
Milcah Grossman:What, where do you think is like the next I think right now I'm getting to know my ever changing body and re being in touch with an ever changing situation all the time and just being more aware and present than I've ever been in any other pregnancy. I've never been so aware and present. And it's very funny. It's like when I go to dance class every week and I've been practicing the dance that we're going to perform, but there's certain exercises that we do in the warmup and I'm like, my center of balance is changing every week. And every time I do it the first time I'm like wobbling. And then the second time I'm more like in myself. And then the third time we do it, I'm like, okay, I got this. And I feel like that's sort of my ongoing process right now. It's like, okay, you know, it is what it is and sometimes I feel like this and sometimes I feel like that and sometimes whatever and my belly's changing and my breasts are bigger and everything just whatever and I'm just being in touch with it Just allowing it to be. Oh, this is what it is today. Okay, let's be in touch with it. Let's play with it Let's
Rebecca Sigala:feels
Milcah Grossman:like being
Rebecca Sigala:friends with
Milcah Grossman:it, being in a relationship Instead of being concerned or frustrated or or ignoring it or pushing aside. I'm making time. So I actually got I got a pump bottle of almond oil and I mixed a very light aromatherapy blend because I've learned aromatherapy for the Doula work and I keep it next to my bed and I just before I go to bed I just give myself a light a facial massage in the neck and wherever I'm feeling tight I'll seek it out and give some love and rub my belly and it's just my nice quiet. You really
Rebecca Sigala:have such a beautiful way of treating yourself like a queen, when you queen it, I'm just like, yes, I, I feel
Milcah Grossman:that. Just connect, just gently connect with myself and like, how am I doing? And how's this feeling? And these are my arms and these are my hands and they did so much today and now I'm gonna do something for them.
Rebecca Sigala:It reminds me of when you gifted yourself, you had that gift that, yeah, that was for if you lost weight, like, in that program and then you were like, actually, should I gift it to myself? And we're all like, hell yes, absolutely yeah,
Milcah Grossman:right. I think that I have been able to give to myself more and allow myself to just experience simple pleasures much more like I'll get up. Sometimes I get up before everybody I'll just sit outside and just let the breeze brush my skin Just push my tichel back. Let it move my hair Just sit, you know, just feel things just be there and that's that's huge We live in such a rushed society and rushed life and just to be out there and allow myself to be in it and just be happy with how my body feels right now and where I am right now and also if I'm feeling tight or uncomfortable or whatever, sometimes after a good night's sleep, you know, not a good night's sleep, I wake up feeling kind of tight and out of whack. So just stretch and move and touch where it's sore. You're putting your body's needs
Rebecca Sigala:as a priority.
Milcah Grossman:Yeah, exactly. And I'm being in touch with it and not just pushing through. Like I'm about to bring a birth ball if I can just drag my behind up to get it blown up. I'm gonna bring a birth ball to work and I'm gonna sit on it at work and I don't give a gosh darn what anybody thinks about it. It's so much better for me and I feel so much better and my back isn't sore and I stay mobile. I'm like okay if I get tired I'll sit in my chair. That's what I want. That's what I need. That's what I want, and that's what I need. And that comes first. I gotta give my body that. Yeah. And whatever, I'll be a much better worker if my body's feeling good than if I'm falling asleep and having a swore back. Really. Hundred percent.
Rebecca Sigala:100%. I love how, when I said, what's your next step? It wasn't this big goal, like I, I want this job, or I wanna
yeah, like
Rebecca Sigala:be this different person. Actually you're just like. It's the most kind and compassionate thing that you could give to yourself. It's just my next step is, is just being in my body and being
Milcah Grossman:me. Right. And just, and learning to just enjoy it and be present with whatever it is, whether I'm feeling tired or lumpy or not, or whatever, gorgeous or whatever it is, just be there and be kind and give myself, you know, love and compassion and be in touch. You know? Yeah, a big gift.
Rebecca Sigala:I'm so
Milcah Grossman:happy. Yeah, me too. And I'd rather that trickle over to my daughters, than weighing baby carrots and, you know, cutting baby carrots into thirds so that I don't go over the weight.
Rebecca Sigala:Oh my God, how crazy. Not crazy like you weren't
Milcah Grossman:crazy. No,
Rebecca Sigala:but
Milcah Grossman:it's a, they, they, they drip. They did that. Yeah. Yeah, they drip this really disordered stuff and to just get out of that and just be, you know, be present and be aware and be loving. You know, instead of judging. It's a big deal. Have you been
Rebecca Sigala:able to, pass any of this on to your kids?
Milcah Grossman:I think so. I definitely think so. My 14 year old, you know, all the girls are, diet crazing. And she's totally, she's staying out of it. She's not interested. She's like, this is so dumb. Let's just, you know, whatever. And she started exercising. She started doing Esther, Esther Taub's exercising. Oh,
Rebecca Sigala:that's great. She's really body positive. She's
Milcah Grossman:really body positive. That's what I thought. So I'm doing maternity when I can drag myself up to do it.
Rebecca Sigala:And literally, she'll be working out and she's like, I got some cookies in the oven after this.
Milcah Grossman:Yeah, yeah, exactly. And she's like, Bli kesher to the diet. She's like, I want to feel strong, and she's performing in a place soon, my 14 year old, she's in a play, and she also, I was really proud of her because she got a part in a movie, and she was really excited about it, but they had them schlepping all over the place, and she was exhausted. And she was like, this is too much for me and it's wearing my body down and I'm going to end up sick. So she said, just please use the scenes that you have for me or don't, but I really can't do this anymore. I was so proud of her to have, that she had at 14, that she had the awareness to say, this is wearing me down and I don't want to get worn down, you know? Yeah. I
Rebecca Sigala:feel like I don't know how things, you know, totally translate to our kids. Yeah. And that's why when people ask me, okay, how can I pass this to my kids? The main thing is for you to be doing the internal work for yourself.
Milcah Grossman:Yeah. I feel like that's, that's the ticket because it flows through, or even today, my, my 14 year old daughter's friend said something about my 10 year old, my 10 year old is really thin. She's in gymnastics. She's wiry and she's strong as an ox. This kid doesn't stop moving until she collapses in her bed. She's like, goes and goes and goes is very, very strong. And I feel like, I Try to help her also get a little more in touch with what she needs because she could she tends to dehydrate and stuff To be more in touch with it and make sure that she's you know, tapping in and seeing, what do I need? Do I need something now? Oh, okay. And the other thing is this girl who is over in our house She's like she's so skinny. She's so skinny. I'm like, do you know how strong this kid is? I'm, like Rafi. Do you feel you feel like strong? She's like i'm so strong And the girl's like, yeah, I see, I see. She says she's so strong. You shifted the focus.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah,
Milcah Grossman:I'm like 14 year olds. Okay, whatever. You know, but the world is the world is mean about bodies. And, you know,
Rebecca Sigala:so mean, and we're mean to ourselves. And then it just becomes a cycle.
Milcah Grossman:Right, exactly. So I feel like doing yeah, doing the work and showing up. And doing the work and it comes through It drips over and it comes through and I find i'm very aware of and have very little tolerance for when I hear people making comments like body comments and stuff i'm just I'm like, oh, oh, oh, you know, you're you have a
Rebecca Sigala:very high awareness of it right now, right after, right?
Exactly.
Rebecca Sigala:It's not even a right now thing. Once you see it, you can't see it.
Milcah Grossman:Right, yeah.
Rebecca Sigala:Being in this time in Israel and the war, do you feel like it was a good time to be doing this or
Milcah Grossman:not? Yes. I definitely do, because of all the stress I could easily, I noticed at the beginning of the war I was sleeping so tight. Yeah. I was sleeping like, this. And I feel like it allowed me, It was very good process for this time, Davka, to learn to be kind and to learn to be in touch with my body more. I was able to learn to relax better, I feel, and just be more present with whatever is and now this is not happening so I'm just gonna do the things and it's okay. I think
Rebecca Sigala:That's what happens with stress and trauma And survival mode, you kind of get out of your body. And yes, exactly. Like flying
Milcah Grossman:away, right? Like anytime that we had sirens and whatever, I'm hustling everybody into the room and I'm running around in high executive mode, totally out of body and totally just like now this, now this, now this, now where's this one, now what's that one, get the water and get water. And I'm not you know, but to drop back in and be sane and safe in my body and let the stress. You know, okay, it happened and it's over and wash over
big
Milcah Grossman:deal
Rebecca Sigala:Do you think that I should like check the audio on this and see if it we could just make it into a podcast? That'd be awesome. Yeah
Milcah Grossman:It's so awesome.
Rebecca Sigala:Oh my god. It's
Milcah Grossman:like it is crazy.
Rebecca Sigala:So it's just such an inspiring conversation
Milcah Grossman:I enjoyed it so much. I feel like the process was so good. It was not always easy, but it was so good. Like I came out a different, in totally different space, a different person, a different, just in such a different space. And so I wish I could give you a hug
Rebecca Sigala:right now. virtual hug You're really, really amazing.
Milcah Grossman:Oh, you are. The stuff, the tools that you gave us and the warmth and the guidance was so powerful. So powerful. Even without you being on all the calls. So many times I'm like, I'm just going to lay down for 15 minutes, then I'll have koach to be on the call. And I wake up three hours later, like, where am I?
Rebecca Sigala:What's going on? Yeah. I'm really glad that. You didn't give up. I feel like it would be very easy, especially in your situation to give up and to just be like, I haven't made it to the calls. fuck this. I'm done. And instead, you gave yourself compassion and you were like, that makes sense. I'm listening to my body. And I can still go through this program and Right. I can show up.
Milcah Grossman:Yeah. Show up for myself. Right, exactly. And I feel like it did. It did so much. It just is so, so much for me.
Rebecca Sigala:Amazing. So glad,
Milcah Grossman:such a gorgeous experience. Yeah. I feel like I went through you know, this big journey and there's still more journey and there's still more what to do, but. It feels like, the groundwork is laid for such beautiful things and I feel such good results every day. It's just amazing, you know?
Rebecca Sigala:It's so beautiful and just compounds on each other and it's something that continues to evolve. It's not it's not always this tangible result. You know, it's not like, Oh, go to this business coach. And now you make more money or, you know, you go to weight loss and you lose weight. It's not, it's not a direct result like that. But that's what actually makes it so beautiful because you're on this evolving journey. And when you become in touch with, yourself, and you're aware of how things start to impact you, you realize how much you change over that period of time.
Milcah Grossman:Yeah, and then it grows more. It feels sort of like, almost like you have this garden, and you know, You take all the rocks and there's seeds being planted and all of a sudden there's flowers sprouting up everywhere and it's because it's beautiful like everywhere you turn there's these beautiful flowers coming up and it's just it's just and then it makes it more inspiring and then you're more aware and it just deepens and deepens. Yeah
Rebecca Sigala:and flowers also have seasons. Yes exactly. So If you have ebbs and flows, then you also know that's okay.
Milcah Grossman:Right, it's part of a process and a journey and it's beautiful. The foundation is there and there's always, you know, you can always go back and go like, Okay, that's okay, you know, here I am and I can come back to my body. I can come back to kindness. Beautiful. So beautiful.
Rebecca Sigala:How would you, what's one word to sum up the experience and one word moving forward that you want to invite in to your life?
Milcah Grossman:So some of the experience, I think it was just like deep growth because there was really amazing support and skills given. And I think going forward is just to remember it's just a journey, a loving journey.
Rebecca Sigala:Oh, so perfect. Is this what you wanted the call to be like? Did you think you wanted it to be kind of a summary?
Milcah Grossman:I didn't realize we were going to get to this, but it's so it was such a beautiful, it was a very beautiful experience. It was very, I felt very held and guided to really explore the gains and it solidified it a lot more.
Rebecca Sigala:I'm so glad. I think it's important because we really don't give ourselves enough credit. I say this all the time, but it's just so true. Sometimes, I do it to myself as well. I mean, a lot of times I do it to myself as well. And I was just talking to my husband, like, do you think I've grown in the past year? I kind of, wanted to do this. And I was thinking about that, healing wise, you know, and. He's like, you know what happened in the last seven months? I'm like, Oh, right. I forgot.
Milcah Grossman:Yeah. I think we're so busy hurtling forward. You know, we don't stop and see, we don't stop and realize, you know?
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah. The fact that we're just, We're functioning and that we're being a mother and going to work and, and breathing is such a win. And then for you to be able to take that further and really, truly show up for yourself and have that deep growth experience is everything.
Milcah Grossman:Yeah, it really is. So it's a tremendous gift and I feel like it, you know, it just keeps, you know, it keeps building and then it's trickling through, you know, with a household full of daughters, you know.
Rebecca Sigala:Yeah, that's so important. Yeah. How many daughters again?
Milcah Grossman:Five! Five! Five! I have a house full of queens, come on. Yeah, this is the energy. Yeah, it really is. It really is. I mean, this is the power that fuels Am Israel, you know, like, the women are the ones, we are, we're the ones.
Rebecca Sigala:Absolutely. I feel that very deeply right now.
Milcah Grossman:Yeah.
Amazing.
Milcah Grossman:Yeah.
Rebecca Sigala:Thank you so much.
Milcah Grossman:Thank you. Oh my gosh. You're going through all of this. It's so special. Feel free to
Rebecca Sigala:reach out whenever you want.
Milcah Grossman:Thank you so much.
Rebecca Sigala:Thank you all so much for listening. I would love for you to write down one or two takeaways from this podcast episode so that you can start implementing this mindset in your life today. Perhaps it's something Milcah said, or a new mindset or affirmation that you'd like to adopt for yourself. Whatever it is, write it down and come back to it as you go forward on your own journey of self love. Speaking of, as I mentioned in the beginning, pre enrollment is now open. We're starting in September, but the cool thing about pre enrollment is that it's a really amazing opportunity because not only do you receive$500 off of your investment for enrolling early, but you can actually get started on the modules right away and get your journey started on your own time, even before we start the coaching calls in September, so that it can really just feel chill and relaxing and just a beautiful way to go deeper on your journey. Remember that The New Sexy is for women like you who are already desiring to embrace their bodies as they are and fall in love with what they see in the mirror and feel sexy, not just for a day or a few weeks, but for life through every body change and every season. Email me right now. If you want to be one of the first people to apply, I have application forms ready, and I want to make sure that we're a really good fit. My email is rebecca@rebeccasigala.com. I'll send you all the information and I'm so excited. I hope you have an amazing day and week.