Being Thin in a Thin-Obsessed World

In this solo episode, we dive deep into the often-overlooked impact of diet culture on people in thinner bodies. While society frequently celebrates thinness, this episode uncovers the hidden struggles and prejudices that thin people face. This episode sheds light on the pervasive nature of diet culture and its impact on everyone so that we can cultivate empathy and break free from these harmful narratives.

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Transcript

Rebecca Sigala: 0:00

Hello, my loves. It's me, Rebecca, coming to you straight from my bedroom in Efrat, Israel. I'm here just looking over such a beautiful view, such an incredible day. Laying on my bed and I'm just really excited to share with you what I'm about to share with you because I've actually been thinking about it for a really long time. I took a look at my notes on my phone and realized I had jotted down a bunch of thoughts about this topic in February and it's almost June now. So this has been brewing in my mind for a really long time. And it's also a really important subject. Today, I'm going to talk about diet culture and if you've been on this journey with me for a while, you probably know how harmful diet culture is and you're probably also starting to see it so much more in your everyday life. It's just like one of those things that once you see it, you can't unsee it. I'm going to talk to you about how diet culture is not just harmful for people in larger bodies, but for every single person on this planet. And Specifically today, I'm going to share with you about how diet culture negatively impacts people in smaller or thinner bodies. This to me is incredibly important because I think that in conversations of body positivity and even inclusivity, people who are in smaller bodies are often overlooked because they're just not seen as the victim. And there is so much discrimination against larger bodies, disabled bodies, people of color, or people who don't fit the standard of health or beauty that society deems acceptable. And this is very, very true. And I would never take away from that pain. That's pain that I've experienced myself and many of my friends and loved ones and clients. There's also this specific type of pain that can come with being in a body that is presumably worshiped by the world. And I think you're going to be really surprised to hear about a lot of these women's experiences that I've learned throughout the years, because people who live in thinner bodies often don't feel positivity from others towards their bodies. Together we're going to come to understand and talk about the ways in which we're all victims of diet culture. If this is one of your first episodes, firstly, I'm so glad that you've joined us. Secondly, I just want to go over what diet culture actually is. And this is just a good refresher for everyone. I find that when you're in the process of unlearning something, which we're all in this process of unlearning diet culture, especially something that is so, so ingrained in us, we often need to hear things over and over again. and listen to it as you're integrating and embodying your new beliefs. It's very, very helpful. I need to do this for myself, so I'm excited to talk about it as well. Contrary to what many people might think, diet culture isn't just a culture in which everyone sits around and talks about weight watchers and keto and intermittent fasting. Although yes, that unfortunately seems to be the reality in many parts of the world. I'm going to share with you this definition by Christy Harrison because, I love it, and I think it really covers all of the major components of diet culture. A culture that's really obsessed with fitness at all costs. So, according to Christy, who is the author of Anti Diet, Diet culture is a system of beliefs. Number one, it worships thinness and equates it to health and moral virtue, which means that you can spend your entire life thinking that you're broken or that you're bad or you're wrong just because you don't look like this unattainable ideal presented by society. Secondly, diet culture promotes weight loss as a means of attaining a higher status, which means that you'll probably end up spending a massive amount of time, energy, money, and just everything trying to shrink your body. Even though research is very clear that almost nobody can sustain intentional weight loss for more than a few years. Thirdly, diet culture demonizes certain ways of eating while elevating others. This is something that I see so often. It means that there's this idea of like good and bad food, healthy food, junk food, eating clean, eating not clean. And all of those things really present food in a way where there is a good and a bad option and people are forced to be hyper vigilant about their eating. They're ashamed to make certain food choices. And I love how she puts this. She says that you're distracted from your pleasure, your purpose, and your power. Diet culture also oppresses people who don't match up with its supposed picture of health,"health," which disproportionately harms women, trans folks, people in larger bodies, people of color, people with disabilities, and it damages both their mental and their physical health. Even in this definition, there isn't an acknowledgement about people in smaller bodies because it's focused on the discrimination that comes along with diet culture. And, you know, also at first glance you might be thinking Yeah, it does really suck for people who are in those bodies and not glorified by society. And then there's this whole other set of people, thin people, or people who fit into the beauty standard while they must just have this perfect life. And that's just another fucking lie that diet culture feeds us. And it's one of the reasons why I always tell women that it's really normal and it makes so much sense for them to feel the way that they do. And desire to be thinner because that's just how society has brainwashed us and set us up for really not loving our bodies. As humans, we want to be accepted and loved and admired. We want other people to think that we're worthy and beautiful and smart and disciplined. Many people want power and status and everything that comes along with that. Which yes, it often does make for easier living in some ways. I was actually just listening to this interview with Rebel Wilson who was talking about how she had lost a significant amount of weight and that people are now smiling at her more, opening doors for her and really noticing her. While, when she was in a larger body, even as a celebrity, like a famous person, she still felt ignored and said that no one had opened doors for her and the interviewer asked her if she thought that it was partially in her head because you know as you lose weight and you eat healthier that you gain more confidence in yourself and so maybe that's just the energy that she's putting out in the world and that just made me immediately roll my eyes because people love to cling to this idea that maybe diet culture really isn't such a big deal. Maybe it's just something that people make up so that they don't have to care about their bodies. It's just such bullshit. And Rebel like really confirmed my feeling when she was like, fuck no, like people really didn't open doors for me. It just really shows how pervasive diet culture is and how it's just in so many aspects of our modern day lives. So now I really want to go into detail based on working intimately with thousands of women over the years, what it can be like to be in a thin body, because it's so important that we understand the full spectrum of how truly dangerous diet culture is. Let's get into it. Firstly, just because someone is thin, doesn't mean that people don't judge them. And I feel like, yeah, we all understand that, but like, let's think about that again. Just because someone is thin doesn't mean that people don't judge them. People always judge. It's in our human nature. Sometimes they're negative judgments and sometimes, especially as a thin person, they're seemingly positive, but the truth is any kind of prejudgment, especially because of how someone looks is ridiculous. And I've learned that deeply over my work with women over the last 11 years, that these judgments don't really reflect reality and they can just be harmful all around. Here are Some things that my clients have told me that people have said about them before they even knew anything about them. You can eat whatever you want. I'm so jealous." Okay. So that prejudgment may not even be true. Maybe a thin person really can't eat whatever they want because they have an allergy or a health issue or an eating disorder, or just a shitty relationship with food, like the majority of the world. And here there is this person who's judging them without any clue. And that really leads me to that, a lot of my clients share that people make. All of these comments and microaggressions about feeling jealousy towards them for being thin. They'll say things like,"I hate you. You're so thin.""You don't even look like you had a baby.""I wish I looked like that." And this thin person can often be the brunt of constant, like really constant jealousy and comparison. And it's a very strange type of focus and attention that more often than not feels pretty terrible. And it also puts this person in the place of feeling like they're not able to express themselves authentically, that they're never allowed to have an issue with their body or struggle with the way that they look. That can feel very lonely that, you know, they're all alone in their struggle and that they're supposed to feel good and everyone else just wants them to shut up and be grateful for how they look while inside they may be in a lot of internal pain with no one really to turn to. Other questions and comments that thin people may receive are things like, Do you ever eat?""You look thin as a rail""Well, you know, real women have curves" or"men like a little meat on their bones" and all of those things that I just mentioned are straight up body shaming and they are just as bad, just as bad as body shaming someone for being in a larger body. It's assuming an eating disorder. It's telling them that they're not healthy, not beautiful, not feminine or womanly. Not desirable to men. It's all the same bullshit. If you really think about it, every single woman is the victim of this, simply for existing in this world. This is a place where diet culture and beauty standards overlap and make many women, many, many women feel like there's truly something wrong with them or wrong with their bodies that they need to change. In general, like overall diet culture really does create this environment where women are constantly critical of their bodies. All women, all people for that matter. So sometimes thin people actually do want to be thin and maybe even want to be thinner. Like they can never be thin enough and might not even consider themselves thin or desirable by society. And sometimes of course that can be due to body dysmorphia, but even if a thin person doesn't want to be thinner, there's always something else. Always something else to do or to change because our bodies are just never considered enough as they are. And while beauty standards might not be the same thing as diet culture, the two fuel and perpetuate each other and keep women in this terrible cycle of shame. Like if you're thin, then make sure you have a six pack. Make sure that you are tan, that you have curvy enough body. Maybe you want to get butt implants or a boob job, Botox filler, you know, like just really, we all know these things. The list just goes on and on and on and on. And if we're not aware of it, we can start going down that road in this effort to really feel like we're enough and fill something within us with these external things that don't actually give us that deep sense of confidence that we're really looking for. So there's something else that I noticed with people in thin bodies and that's for women, especially in their younger years, being thin can create this false sense of confidence because they might actually be getting a lot of positive feedback about their body and their appearance in general. So they like eat it up because that's totally human and normal. But oftentimes these people are not even aware that they are struggling with their body image or their self worth because they're constantly getting this positive feedback that does feel good. I've had so many women tell me that they don't struggle with their body image because they're thin, but then in the same breath, they list all the things that they'd like to change about their body. Body image is not just about body size. There's such an emphasis on appearance and body size in our society today. And it's so easy to wrap our feelings about ourself and just our self worth in general into how we look and we overly identify with our bodies, so much so that if it does change, which it will change, it's not uncommon to feel disappointed or lost or even depressed that our bodies have changed, when really it's just the most normal and natural thing in the world for our bodies to change. This reminds me of one of my clients in The New Sexy who got a lot of positive feedback about her body when she was a child and a teenager. And then as soon as she started having babies and her body changed and got curvier, then she just started to really despise the way she looked. She was convinced because people convinced her and society brainwashed her that she was only beautiful at her smaller size. And she couldn't figure out why she was feeling that way. But it makes so much sense because while she may have been confident way back then, it was a conditional confidence that went away, the moment her body changed. And it was just so beautiful to witness her transformation through the program as she gained this grounded confidence and love for her body. It's so important to me that when my clients walk away from The New Sexy, they have the actual tools to move through their emotions and love their bodies through all of the stages and seasons and changes that their bodies have because our bodies will fluctuate. Our bodies will age. Our appearance may change because of a million different things. We may have more babies, our hormones could affect our bodies. All of these things are normal and a part of life. And we need to be able to learn how to show up for our bodies and love them through it all. The same way our bodies show up for us every single day. So when you're thin and almost weirdly worshipped for it, these body changes may feel even more difficult because there's this like loss of identity. And while it can be hard for anyone when their bodies change, this is a huge component that's not often thought about and a big struggle for women who are suffering through this in silence. So, as you can see, to sum it up, diet culture sucks. It really, really sucks. it can even kill people. Like we don't think about how pervasive this is and how much this affects our children and teenagers and adults. And how many people around the world are literally dying from eating disorders. I think I read that every 52 minutes or something like that, don't quote me on it, someone dies of an eating disorder. And thin people are not immune to this. They're not immune to having a negative body image. Truly, Nobody is. I've seen women in larger bodies have wonderful relationships with their bodies. And I've seen women in smaller bodies absolutely despise them. And of course, vice versa. I don't have the statistics, but in my experience, my 11 years of experience working intimately with women in this way, body size virtually makes no difference in relation to struggling with body image. I've really never met one woman in my entire life and in the course of my career. Who does not struggle with their body image in some way. We are victims of diet culture. And we live in a society that greatly, greatly benefits from our dissatisfaction of our bodies. There is a 93 billion dollar weight loss industry out there. And it just keeps going up. I remember the first time I said that it was like 72 billion. And now it's 93 billion. And it's just going to keep going up from there. And of course, we may not have the power right now to take down this entire industry in one swoop, but we do have the power to change our relationships with our own bodies. And in my opinion, it's our responsibility, not just for ourselves, but for the next generation and our families and our loved ones and the world at large. I can't tell you how often someone will tell me that, they had an eating disorder that almost killed them and their parent or loved one still just talks about bodies the way that they always did. They talk about how much weight they need to lose or the next diet they need to go on. And listen, I know people are not malicious. Usually people are just completely unaware. Or they convince themselves that it's just like about health or whatever. But we are aware, we know that this obsession with thinness is not about health And we have this opportunity right now to literally revolutionize body image and change this frustrating reality that we face on a daily basis. So let's just do this, like continue joining me on this journey. You can keep listening to the podcast. You can join me on Instagram. I'm there almost every day. You can reach out to me if you want to work one on one, either in a healing boudoir experience or in The New Sexy, the healing boudoir experience is a experience that combines one on one coaching and boudoir as an embodiment practice to help women feel hot as hell and see themselves in a completely new way. It's so transformational. And then in September, I'm going to be starting my next round of The New Sexy, which is my epic group coaching program. And pre enrollment is going to start soon. So you can always reach out to me to get on the wait list. This is a virtual program that can be done anywhere in the world. And it's really unlike anything that I've ever seen before. I bring you through my unique step by step process of letting go, like really letting go of all of this diet culture bullshit, redefining beauty and elevating your perception of yourself and your relationship with yourself and your self care. So that you can absolutely love what you see when you look in the mirror and break generational cycles of. hating our bodies. It's really important and so beautiful and so transformational. So you can feel free to shoot me an email. If any of that speaks to you, I'll put my email in the show notes. It's rebecca@rebeccasigala.com. I hope that this episode was helpful and either gave you some real validation. Because you've experienced these things before or an insight into an experience of living in a different size body than your own and I really hope that this gives everyone just all around compassion for ourselves and each other, because it's really not easy to love ourselves in this world and this culture that literally sets us up for shame and for failure when it comes to self love. Don't buy into it anymore, guys, you are so freaking beautiful and worthy and valuable as you are right now. Your worthiness has no prerequisites. Okay, guys, I really am so happy that you're here with me and I'd love to hear what you think about this episode and what your experience has been like living in your body. I'm always, always open to hearing from you guys and hearing more experiences and stories because it is so important that we understand what other people are going through so that we can be more sensitive, kind, good human beings, and also be more compassionate to ourselves as well. All right. Love y'all. Talk to you soon.